Dr Kirstin Barchia

15/10/2025

Join me next week for my popular live and free online calm connection workshop. Over 15000 parents have been a part of these workshops over the past 5 years. Register here today www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/calmworkshop

15/10/2025

Let’s be honest.

Teenage moodiness is annoying.

No cross that, it’s more than annoying.

It’s exhausting.

Being huffed at, sworn at, and having all your buttons pushed at once is more than just “annoying”.

Life would be easier without the huffs, head down, short fuse, door slams, and teenage tantrums over minor requests.

Understandably you want it to stop...

But the punishments, threats, and consequences aren’t working…

Neither is ignoring, placating, walking on eggs shells, and avoiding “prodding the tiger”.

It can leave parents wondering whether it's even possible to change these behaviours 🤷‍♀️

Maybe everyone needs to just duck for cover and wait until they grow out of it?

While it is true that the emotional roller coaster reduces after the teenage years...
..it's also possible to reduce it sooner.

The key to calming the moodiness is learning to “talk teenager”.

I don’t mean learning the latest slang

…that definitely will get an eye roll from them.

I mean learning that teens communicate and seek connection not always through words but through huffs, shrugs and one syllable responses.

These behaviours are not always (or often) disrespect that needs to be shut down or punished.

They are also not just “teenage” behaviour that need to be accepted and ignored.

Huffs, eye rolls, one syllable responses, yelling, stomping, door slamming are all ways you teen tells you how they feel.

While it feels like they are shutting you out…

They are actually telling you a lot…just not with words.

These behaviours when responded to in the wrong ways cause disconnection, heartache, and disruption in households.

For example, what if their shrug and head down means…

“I’m sad mum because I’ve been thinking all day about how I don’t fit in at school.”

What will happen if you say…

“Stop being so moody! You’re upsetting the whole household!”?

While in the moment of frustration "Stop being moody!" feels like the magic words to peace and harmony

…saying this is rarely helpful.

But a small acknowledgement matching the teen’s mood saying something like…

“Hey. You seem a bit down, how was your day?” may be the beginning to opening up conversation and connection again.

When we are curious about their behaviour, and respond acknowledging their emotions with compassion, the behaviours shift.

You may be reading this and thinking…

I do ask them that and that’s when they give me the moodiness... or frustrating shrugs and one syllables.

I hear you.

Teen behaviour is complicated…

It needs more understanding than an email can provide.

So I am holding a webinar to help you reduce the moodiness and bring back the calm in your household.

You can register here now www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/calmworkshop

15/10/2025

Teen moodiness affects everyone in the house. But it’s not something you have to tolerate until they “grow” out of it.
Underlying the eye rolls, swearing, shrugs or closed door scrolling are emotions that need (and want) your comfort, attention and guidance.
Learning to read these behaviours is the first step.
Want to learn how to get the closeness back in your relationship so they open up, and listen to what you have to say so you can truely help them with what upsets them? Comment Calm.

15/10/2025

There's a blindspot most parents of teens have and it effects the closeness of their relationship with their teen. Read about it here.

Modern parenting can fuel constant worry. Dr Kirstin Barchia shares how to move past fear, rebuild calm connection, and get your teen talking and listening again.

15/10/2025

Comment calm to learn more

14/10/2025

Let’s be honest. Teenage moodiness is annoying.

No cross that, it’s more than annoying.

It’s exhausting.

Being huffed at, sworn at, and having all your buttons pushed at once is more than just “annoying”.

Life would be easier without the huffs, head down, short fuse, door slams, and teenage tantrums over minor requests.

Understandably you want it to stop...

But the punishments, threats, and consequences aren’t working…

Neither is ignoring, placating, walking on eggs shells, and avoiding “prodding the tiger”.

It can leave parents wondering whether it’s even possible to change these behaviours 🤷‍♀️

Maybe everyone needs to just duck for cover and wait until they grow out of it?

While it is true that the emotional roller coaster reduces after the teenage years...
..it’s also possible to reduce it sooner.

The key to calming the moodiness is learning to “talk teenager”.

I don’t mean learning the latest slang

…that definitely will get an eye roll from them.

I mean learning that teens communicate and seek connection not always through words but through huffs, shrugs and one syllable responses.

These behaviours are not always (or often) disrespect that needs to be shut down or punished.

They are also not just “teenage” behaviour that need to be accepted and ignored.

Huffs, eye rolls, one syllable responses, yelling, stomping, door slamming are all ways you teen tells you how they feel.

While it feels like they are shutting you out…

They are actually telling you a lot…just not with words.

These behaviours when responded to in the wrong ways cause disconnection, heartache, and disruption in households.

Want to learn a new way? Comment Calm.

13/10/2025

Sometimes it can feel like it’s a choice.
Have a teen that likes you or have rules and boundaries.
Have the closeness with your teen but they lack independence.
But it’s actually possible AND helpful to have a close connection with your teen to help them develop their independence in a way that keeps them safe.
But many families are not experiencing that kind of relationship with their teen.
The kind where their teen wants to sit at the dinner table and share their day.
Listens to your wisdom.
Makes good decisions and isn’t looking at a device all day.
Comment calm if you would like to learn more.

13/10/2025

If you’re struggling to connect with your teen now that they roll their eyes, have their head in tech or are behind closed doors all the time you don’t want to miss this one. Click here now to save your free spot www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/calmworkshop

12/10/2025

This practical workshop will cover content I normally only teach inside my paid Calm Connection Program.

I’m going to show you exactly what to do to keep or rebuild a close relationship with your teen so they open up, listen to you and want to spend time with you.

You can get your free spot here - www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/calmworkshop

There’s two times to choose from.

I promise it will be worth your time.

More than 20 000 parents have registered for this workshop over the past 3 years. I only run it live occasionally.

In this workshop you will learn:

The most common misconceptions about teenage behaviour that get in the way of parent teen connection.
How to respond to teen eye rolls, moodiness, refusal and closed doors in a way that brings calm and connection rather than explosions and door slams.
The steps to take to have a calmer household, connect with your teen and have them listen to you.
Show up live to ask your questions and get a copy of my Clear Path Forward download. A step by step decision framework to help you find clarity about what to do about your teen and work out whether you need help with them or not. Comment Calm and I will dm you the link to register.

Calm Connection Workshop Registration

12/10/2025

I know you don’t want to be a “helicopter parent”.

You're aware of not being too controlling or involved.

You try to monitor your teen responsibly and give them space to live their lives independently.

But throw in all of the dangers of modern parenting…
...(including the latest Netflix documentary about online dangers)
...and suddenly managing worry about your teen becomes more difficult.

Modern parents are constantly provided with content that tells them to worry about their teen’s phones, sleep, online safety, mental health, diagnoses (ADHD, ASD, PDA or Anxiety), or va**ng.

And that’s before you read the school emails about making sure your teen is doing their homework and “achieving their personal best”.

Then there’s concerns about their social life.

You worry about whether your teen has true good friends, how they behave with their friends and whether they’re a positive influence on others.

Of course you're worried about your teen.

There are so many messages daily that prompt the worry.

But this worry, is a blindspot that influences your interactions with your teen.

Your well meaning questions and concern about their sleep, device use, homework, or friends can easily backfire if there's too much worry and anxiety behind your questions.

❌ Are device time rules and consequences ending in yelling matches?

❌ Is your teen pulling away and sharing less and less with you?

❌ Does your teen shut down any advice you give them?

This is not just "normal" teen independence building that you just have to accept.

It doesn't have to be this way.

You can have a teen that's close to you, opens up to you, listens to you and follows the rules.

There is another way to get your teen off their device, sharing more with you and listening to your advice.

You can have a close relationship with your teen and develop their independence and keep them safe.

This is what I will cover in my upcoming live and free online Calm Connection Workshop.

You can register now here www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/calmworkshop

In this workshop I will cover how to connect with your teen, move past the eye rolls and refusal, and open communication so that your teen talks to you and listens to what you have to say.

Calm Connection Workshop Registration

12/10/2025

There’s a blindspot when it comes to parenting teens.

You’re aware of not being too controlling or involved.

You try to monitor your teen responsibly and give them space to live their lives independently.

But throw in all of the dangers of modern parenting…
...(including the latest Netflix documentary about online dangers)
...and suddenly managing worry about your teen becomes more difficult.

Modern parents are constantly provided with content that tells them to worry about their teen’s phones, sleep, online safety, mental health, diagnoses (ADHD, ASD, PDA or Anxiety), or va**ng.

And that’s before you read the school emails about making sure your teen is doing their homework and “achieving their personal best”.

Then there’s concerns about their social life.

You worry about whether your teen has true good friends, how they behave with their friends and whether they’re a positive influence on others.

Of course you’re worried about your teen.

There are so many messages daily that prompt the worry.

But this worry, is a blindspot that influences your interactions with your teen.

Your well meaning questions and concern about their sleep, device use, homework, or friends can easily backfire if there’s too much worry and anxiety behind your questions.

❌ Are device time rules and consequences ending in yelling matches?

❌ Is your teen pulling away and sharing less and less with you?

❌ Does your teen shut down any advice you give them?

This is not just “normal” teen independence building that you just have to accept.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

You can have a teen that’s close to you, opens up to you, listens to you and follows the rules.

There is another way to get your teen off their device, sharing more with you and listening to your advice.

You can have a close relationship with your teen and develop their independence and keep them safe.

This is what I will cover in my upcoming live and free online Calm Connection Workshop.

In this workshop I will cover how to connect with your teen, move past the eye rolls and refusal, so that your teen talks to you and listens to what you have to say. Comment calm and I’ll send link

11/10/2025

So excited to be a part of this. So many wonderful expert presenters. Super practical advice with lots of compassion. My interview is live today. Check it out here https://plt.ontraport.net/t?orid=31506&opid=42