Karen Smith Counselling

21/08/2025

Good luck to all those receiving their GCSE grades today. I hope that you can all feel proud of your achievements, regardless of the grade 🩵

21/08/2025

Congratulations to all those that have achieved their desired GCSE grades today. For the many young people who are disappointed with their grades, remember ... there are many different paths to your destination.

I know, as I post this, that for at least a third of 16-year-olds today will not be a day of celebration.

That’s not because this year group are particularly predictable, or because I have secret information about the GCSE results.

It’s because GCSE results are highly predictable, even though there is always some fuss made each year about how girls are doing better than boys (or vice versa).

GCSE results are graded by comparing the marks with those from previous years, and making sure that the number of people who get each grade remains more or less the same. There’s some variation, but not a lot.

This means that around a third of each cohort are always going to fail their GCSEs. By fail, I mean that they won’t get the grades they need to go onto college without having to do retakes or do another course at the same level as GCSEs.

This is how GCSEs are designed. If everyone does exceptionally well one year, they’ll just shift the goal posts so that some of them still fail. It’s not possible for everyone to pass. If a school does exceptionally well and everyone passes, that just means that more people in some other school failed.

This is different to a test like the driving test. The driving test is an assessment of how good you are at driving, regardless of how good everyone else is.

I know this isn’t much consolation if you have a teenager who has just had disappointing exam results. It’s not a happy way to end your time at school.

But what it means is that they are not alone. Failure is built into the GCSE system. A third of young people have to fail each year.

They all have a future regardless. Let’s help them to feel hopeful about that.

18/08/2025

An interesting post about the impact of our own early traumas on our parenting behaviours.

When we feel out of control, we try to control our children.

When we are in fear of something new or different, we often shut it down for our children.

When our nervous system feels threatened, we often turn to making threats in the form of punishments and consequences against our children.

When we didn't get our needs met as a child, we often devalue our children's needs.

And....when we have a hard time having compassion for ourselves, we can't offer compassion to our children.

Many of us are dysregulated from our childhoods.

That dysregulation can cause great discomfort when we feel out of control, confused, or challenged.

Our inability to show ourselves compassion during that discomfort can lead to some pretty poor parenting choices.

It can lead to control instead of curiosity.

It can lead to shaming instead of accepting.

It can lead to anger instead of understanding.

Raise your awareness to what feels triggering to you in parenting...make a list (helpful to make a running list and add new things when they occur).

Get to know where you feel it in your body when it occurs.

What thoughts begin to swirl around in your head?

What behaviors come from those feelings and thoughts?

Now....you have a map of YOU when triggered by your children.

You know what to look for and when it comes....you have an idea of your patterns and your subconscious urges.

Now let's make a shift to this......next time, when the trigger happens....pause. Get still......feel those tense shoulders and tight jaw? Recognize those as parts of you that are uncomfortable with the current situation.

Those are younger parts of you that are in need...they need you.

You have everything you need inside to take really good care of these parts.

In Self, you have the resources to show compassion to these younger parts of you so they aren't so uncomfortable. You can sit with the discomfort feeling the feelings, until you are ready to respond from an emotionally healthy place.

Just because you are uncomfortable, doesn't have to mean anything for your children.....your discomfort is not their problem.

Your discomfort is an old story.....and your ability to meet yourself there with curiosity and compassion will determine your new story.

18/04/2025

Funding for adoptees to be able to access therapy is critical to ensure they have the right support to overcome early trauma. The government has just announced significant cuts in funding which will have such a detrimental impact on our most vulnerable children who have already had a difficult start in life. Please consider signing the petition calling for the government to change this decision until a full consultation has taken place.

Action Against ASGSF Changes (Adoption and Special Guardianship Support Fund)

13/12/2024

Christmas can be a very difficult time for many for so many reasons. Take care of yourselves, reach out to those around you if you are in need of support 💚.

04/11/2024

https://youtu.be/7JChDBikDjw?si=AHmHEDcrKQ3pGOQM
What a beautiful advert, the importance of supporting those who have lost loved ones ❤️

Introducing the 2024 charity Christmas video and advert, inspired by the heartwarming John Lewis Christmas adverts. The charity single, "Send Me a Sign," has...

18/07/2024

Another fantastic training to support my work with Adoptees.

06/05/2024

Beautiful weekend of self-care in The Cotswolds 💚. I hope you've managed to find some time for yourselves this Bank Holiday weekend.

31/03/2024

Wishing all those who celebrate, a Happy Easter 🐣

20/03/2024

https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/creative-therapy/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=Orlo&utm_content=Type+of+Therapy+2024

BACP member Ani de la Prida explains what a creative therapist does and how creative arts therapies can help