Ella McCrystal - Psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist, EMDR, Northampton (2025)

05/02/2025

DM ME YOUR EMAIL FOR A FREE mini meditation on loving without attachment…

Are you loving but hurting?

Many people mistake attachment for love. Loving without attachment is the purest form of love…it allows you to experience love as a force of nature rather than something to control. When you trust in the quantum field, surrender outcomes, and align with love’s frequency, you remain in a state of effortless flow, attracting deeper and more meaningful connections. Real love isn’t about possession…it’s about presence, freedom, and trust.

When you love without attachment, you step into a higher state of being, aligning with the quantum field where love flows naturally.

Why Love Without Attachment?

✔ Less suffering…no more fear of loss or control.
✔ Deeper, more authentic connections.
✔ Freedom to love without expectations.
✔ Alignment with the universe’s flow.

How to Love Without Attachment…

1️⃣ Recognise love as energy…It’s not something to own, but something to experience.
2️⃣ Observe your attachments…Is it love, or fear of losing love?
3️⃣ Shift to soul love…Love from a place of wholeness, not need.
4️⃣ Detach from outcomes…Love without forcing a specific result.
5️⃣ Stay present…Appreciate the moment instead of clinging to the past or future.

Tapping into the Quantum Field

Everything is energy…including love. The more you trust, the more love flows to you.

Meditate on love as a universal force
Align with love’s frequency…feel it before it appears.
Practise gratitude…it keeps you in the flow.

The secret?

Let love be free, and it will find you in its highest form. 💜

29/01/2025

Love is the Highest Frequency…

Love isn’t just a feeling…it’s the most powerful frequency…

Here’s why 💜

Everything is Energy – Quantum physics shows that everything vibrates. Love vibrates at a higher, more coherent frequency, creating harmony in the field around us.

Entanglement & Connection – Love strengthens the energetic bonds between people, like how quantum entanglement keeps particles connected across distances.

Observation Shapes Reality – Love is a high-vibration state of consciousness that can influence our reality, much like the observer effect in quantum mechanics.

Heart’s Electromagnetic Field – The HeartMath Institute found love expands the heart’s electromagnetic field, impacting others around us.

Physiological Level - Brain Chemistry of Love

Oxytocin - The “bonding hormone” …boosts trust, connection & lowers stress.

Dopamine - Increases pleasure & motivation.

Serotonin - Stabilises mood & reduces anxiety.

Endorphins - Reduce pain & create emotional warmth.

Heart-Brain Coherence – Love improves HRV (heart rate variability), syncing the nervous system & brain for optimal health.

Epigenetics & Healing – Love activates genes linked to longevity, immunity & reduced disease risk.

Polyvagal Theory – Love activates the vagus nerve, shifting us into a state of relaxation & healing.

How to Raise Your Frequency…

-Practice gratitude & compassion
-Connect deeply with others
-Heart-focused breathing for emotional balance
-Mindfulness & self-love practices

Love isn’t just a feeling…it’s science-backed energy that transforms you & the world around you. Keep vibrating high my darlings…

💜💜💜

27/01/2025

Do you want a FREE guide? DM me your email then SAVE & SHARE post

Breaking trauma cycles as a parent after experiencing childhood s3xual abuse and neglect requires a multidimensional approach that integrates healing approaches - This approach allows you to rewire inherited patterns, shift your perception of reality, regulate your nervous system, and cultivate resilience. Here’s how each principle plays a role in breaking the cycle…

Epigenetics shows that trauma can be passed down through generations, not just through learned behaviour but also through gene expression. However, this is not deterministic…you can turn off the genes linked to stress, anxiety, and trauma through conscious lifestyle changes.

Your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs shape reality at a fundamental level. Trauma keeps you stuck in a low vibrational state of fear, but shifting to love, presence, and gratitude changes your energetic frequency, influencing how you show up as a parent.

How to Apply It…

Observe Your Inner Reality – What you focus on expands. If you expect failure in parenting, your nervous system will find proof of it. Instead, observe limiting beliefs without attachment and consciously choose new ones.

The Observer Effect – Just by becoming aware of your trauma responses, you begin collapsing old patterns and choosing new, conscious actions.

Parallel Possibilities – In every moment, infinite outcomes exist. By choosing the version of yourself who parents from love rather than fear, you shift timelines.

Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent - they need a regulated, self-aware one. That is enough to rewire generations of pain into a new legacy of safety and love.

💜

20/01/2025

“Birth and death are just transitions in consciousness.” ~ Ram Dass

Susie Harris - 23/2/79 - 20/1/24

A year ago today, my heart broke…

You set off on your next great journey…the next adventure, the next level…somewhere beyond where I can reach, but never beyond where I can love you.

I never imagined a world without you in it. I thought we’d grow old together, sitting side by side at 85, drinking tea and wine, laughing our heads off - whilst I eagerly listen to your latest stories, each one more outrageous than the last.

We were barely out of our toddler years when we met… and still, I saw you for exactly who you were… those bright, shining eyes, that unstoppable smile, and a heart so pure it could light up the whole world.

I loved you from the start.

And I probably annoyed you just as much!

But for some reason, you accepted me, held space for me, and you always came home to me…

We were never serious together, yet we understood each other in a way few people ever do.

We floated through life together, skipping past the darkness, finding our refuge in laughter, in singing, in simply being.

We walked each other home from school every single day… and in your final days, I was there to walk you home one last time.

My darling Susie… thank you for being my magic, my light, my beautiful, irreplaceable friend.

My heart is tethered to yours, now and always.

“We’re all just walking each other home.” ~ Ram Dass

#444

12/01/2025

➡️DM me your email address for a FREE nervous system reset mini-program…

Childhood trauma impacts more than your emotions…it reshapes your nervous system, keeping you stuck in survival mode. But healing is possible.

As a trauma therapist, and someone who understands the impact of childhood trauma - I’ve seen how reconnecting with your body can help you reset your nervous system and reclaim your peace. Here’s where to start…

🌿 Breathe Deeply ~ Activate your vagus nerve with slow, diaphragmatic breaths.
🌿 Ground Yourself ~ Walk barefoot, hold something comforting, or focus on the present moment.
🌿 Reconnect to Your Body ~ Try gentle yoga, body scans, or mindful movement.
🌿 Create Safety ~ Find or imagine a space where you feel safe and calm.

Healing isn’t linear, but each small step helps you shift from surviving to thriving. You have the power to rewrite your story and step into the life you deserve.

You are safe. You are enough. 💜

04/01/2025

NOT everyone deserves access to you…

We’ve been taught that being open and available to others is a sign of kindness, love, and generosity. And while there’s beauty in being compassionate, there’s also danger in leaving the door to your soul wide open for anyone to enter.

Think of your energy like a sacred space, a garden that blooms when nurtured but withers when trampled. If you allow everyone to walk through it, without boundaries or intention, the soil becomes tired, the flowers fade, and the beauty that once thrived begins to wilt.

Not allowing everyone in isn’t selfishness…Its good spiritual hygiene.

Just as you care for your physical body by eating well, resting, and cleansing, your spirit requires the same level of attention and protection. Constant exposure to other people’s energies…especially those who drain, criticise, or undervalue you…can cloud your clarity and weaken your inner light.

Not everyone who seeks access to you does so with good intentions. Some are drawn to your warmth but have no desire to tend to your fire. Others are simply unaware of how their presence affects you. And then there are those who unknowingly project their pain, leaving behind weight you were never meant to carry.

But you are not a vessel for everyone else’s emotions. You are not required to hold more than your heart can bear.

It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to create distance. It’s okay to choose who sits at your table.

When you guard your energy, you create space for the right people…those who water your garden, who bring light to your shadows, who understand the delicate balance of giving and receiving.

These are the souls who see you fully and respect the boundaries you place, not as walls of rejection, but as signs of self-respect.

So let this be your reminder…

Protect your spirit as fiercely as you protect your body. Give access only to those who honour your presence. In doing so, you create a life that feels lighter, freer, and more aligned with who you are at your core.

And in that space—tended with love, intention, and care—your soul will bloom endlessly, in ways no one can take away.

31/12/2024

As the new year unfolds, may you remember that life isn’t a path to be conquered but an experience to be nurtured. Some seasons will bloom in abundance, others will ask you to be patient and still. Trust them all.

The turning of the year is not a demand for reinvention, but a gentle invitation to listen more deeply, to love more openly, and to let go of the weight you were never meant to carry.

Growth often whispers, not shouts. It arrives in the quiet moments, in the forgiveness you give yourself, the tenderness you offer others, and the courage to try again.

May this year bring you closer to the quiet knowing that you are already whole, even as you continue to unfold. Let your joy be soft, your grief be sacred, and your hope be unwavering.

Here’s to stepping into the new year with grace, wonder, and the quiet certainty that even the smallest light can guide the way forward.

Love to you all

💜💜💜

24/12/2024

✨ Christmas Message

As the year draws to a close, I want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you who has shown kindness, support, and love. Your presence…whether through words, gestures, or simply being there…has been felt deeply.

You are seen.
You are valued.
You are appreciated.

This time can feel heavy for some. Please remember to extend kindness to others, but importantly inward. And if the weight feels too much, you don’t have to carry it alone.

🌟 Mental Health Support (UK):

Samaritans – 116 123 (24/7)

SHOUT – Text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258 (24/7)

Mind – 0300 123 3393

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) – 0800 58 58 58 (5pm – Midnight)

The Silver Line (for older people) – 0800 4 70 80 90 (24/7)

Childline – 0800 1111 (for under 19s)

This Christmas, let’s remember…connection heals, and even the smallest act of compassion can light up someone’s world.

All the love 💜

Wishing you warmth, peace, and gentle moments.💜

09/12/2024

Every child builds their understanding of the world based on what feels safe, fair, and consistent. In cases of abuse, the person who should provide love and protection becomes the source of harm. This confuses the moral foundation, questions of fairness, loyalty, and authority are distorted. For me, this manifested as a persistent internal conflict - How could the people who love me cause so much harm? This distortion impacts future relationships, where trust becomes fragile, and authority often feels like a threat rather than a source of stability.

Our body, meant to be a vessel of autonomy and safety, becomes a place of internal battle. S3xual abuse creates a disconnect from the body...it can feel foreign, unsafe, or even repulsive. This disconnection isn’t just emotional; it’s neurological. Trauma literally rewires the brain-body connection. The nervous system becomes hypervigilant, the brain shifts to survival mode, and feelings of safety become fleeting or impossible to access. For me, this disconnection left me dissociated from my physical self for years...a ghost in my own body.

Children inherently believe that the world should be fair. When abuse happens by a parent, the child often assumes it must be their fault or responsibility. This self-blame seeps into every aspect of life, creating a fragile self- esteem and a deeply ingrained shame that is hard to shake. I know what it feels like to carry this shame...it’s a silent weight that dictates your worth, your decisions, and your sense of what you deserve in life.

Trauma from intra-familial abuse creates a rift between the emotional and rational mind. Children don’t have the cognitive tools to process what’s happening. Instead, they compartmentalise the experience, creating a fragmented sense of self.

You can recover from this trauma - but it takes time. I promise you, if you reach out for support, you can learn to live a life of balance - This isn’t just what I’ve read in books or learned in training...it’s what I’ve lived. And that’s why I’m here, ready to guide others out of the darkness.

09/12/2024

Every child builds their understanding of the world based on what feels safe, fair, and consistent. In cases of abuse, the person who should provide love and protection becomes the source of harm. This confuses the moral foundation, questions of fairness, loyalty, and authority are distorted. For me, this manifested as a persistent internal conflict - How could the people who love me cause so much harm? This distortion impacts future relationships, where trust becomes fragile, and authority often feels like a threat rather than a source of stability.

Our body, meant to be a vessel of autonomy and safety, becomes a place of internal battle . S3xual abuse creates a disconnect from the body…it can feel foreign, unsafe, or even repulsive. This disconnection isn’t just emotional; it’s neurological. Trauma literally rewires the brain-body connection. The nervous system becomes hypervigilant, the brain shifts to survival mode, and feelings of safety become fleeting or impossible to access. For me, this disconnection left me dissociated from my physical self for years…a ghost in my own body.

Children inherently believe that the world should be fair. When abuse happens by a parent, the child often assumes it must be their fault or responsibility. This self-blame seeps into every aspect of life, creating a fragile self-esteem and a deeply ingrained shame that is hard to shake. I know what it feels like to carry this shame…it’s a silent weight that dictates your worth, your decisions, and your sense of what you deserve in life.

Trauma from intra-familial abuse creates a rift between the emotional and rational mind. Children don’t have the cognitive tools to process what’s happening. Instead, they compartmentalise the experience, creating a fragmented sense of self.

You can recover from this trauma - but it takes time. I promise you, if you reach out for support, you can learn to live a life of balance - This isn’t just what I’ve read in books or learned in training…it’s what I’ve lived. And that’s why I’m here, ready to guide others out of the darkness.

💜

18/11/2024

So many people hide sadness behind smiles, bury anger beneath layers of politeness, and disguise regret in the guise of indifference. Yet, these emotions, though uncomfortable…are far from our enemies. Instead, they are the keys to understanding ourselves more deeply.

To feel is to be human. Ancient philosophies remind us that emotions are the language of the soul. Aristotle referred to emotions as “pathos,” experiences that move us and shape our moral understanding. In a similar vein, the Stoics, while advocating for emotional regulation, did not deny the existence or value of feelings—they saw them as opportunities for wisdom and growth.

When we repress emotions, we deny ourselves the opportunity to engage fully with life…

From a neurobiological perspective, emotions are not just fleeting experiences - they are tied to the architecture of the brain and body. The limbic system, particularly the amygdala, processes emotions, signalling their importance to your survival and well-being. At the same time, the prefrontal cortex assesses their context and meaning, deciding how to respond.

Repressing emotions, however, can lead to chronic stress. When we suppress feelings, the brain continues to activate the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, flooding the body with stress hormones like cortisol. Over time, this can manifest as physical symptoms…tightness in the chest, headaches, or even long-term health issues. Conversely, allowing ourselves to fully feel and process our emotions engages the brain’s default mode network, which is associated with introspection and healing.

To give yourself permission to feel is a profound act of self-love. It is to say, “I honour my experiences. I honour my pain. I honour my strength.” In fact, you are aligning with the natural rhythms of your body and mind, giving them the space they need to heal and recalibrate.

As you grant yourself permission to feel, know that you are not just healing old wounds…you are rewriting your brain’s narrative, building neural pathways that align with love, growth, and self-acceptance. Let yourself feel—it is the gateway to becoming whole.

16/11/2024

I know you may feel like there’s no hope…

Wherever you are right now, you are not bound by the past. Your brain, your emotions, and your spirit are designed for growth. Every new experience holds the potential to transform you, to help you become more of who you are meant to be.

Embrace the beauty of your becoming, and trust in the extraordinary power of your capacity to change. Life is a work in progress…and so are you. That’s what makes it, and YOU, so endlessly beautiful.

Ella McCrystal - Psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist, EMDR

05/02/2025

29/01/2025

27/01/2025

20/01/2025

12/01/2025

04/01/2025

31/12/2024

24/12/2024

09/12/2024

09/12/2024

18/11/2024

16/11/2024

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