17/07/2025
π€ π Thursday β¨οΈπβ¨οΈ Thanks π π€
An Honest Post of love and gratitude that now hails ... it is time β¨οΈ
With so much gratitude, a sense of peace and I believe 'acceptance' is slowly appearing to be making a return within my life.
It has been 8 weeks today since our Mr. Mylo crossed over πΎπ€πΎ
On that day, at 15:20, my heart shattered, it broke into small fragments and I wanted to just collapse myself, curl up, hide and not be here, I initially felt numb, dead within, then, the pain came.
I say this with no exaggeration, these past 8 weeks returned me to a state of grief I have known before, that was when my mum passed over when I was 12, it then took me 34 years to recall within myself how she looked as my mind and body had gone into a mode of protection through this trauma filled time.
My whole body has literally ached in pain, I have had an empty pit in my stomach that made me feel continually nauseous, my heart continually wept within and I have felt so 'alone'.
My true best friend, my confidant, My unconditional Love had gone and I couldn't do anything about it.
Many cannot understand this depth of fragmentation within oneself, If I'm honest I also did not expect it to this depth either but with so much loving support I am so blessed to now be ready to gradually return myself to life.
I have had so much support, physical, spiritual and mental. My family especially Simon have held me when I have collapsed bereft to the floor, feeling like I cannot breathe, taking panic attacks ... you see, Mylo was not 'just a dog' as many can think or say ... Mylo (MyLo ve) was in total honesty a part of me and I him.
We had a Soul connection, one, I have never felt before, my boy as I look back was so intuitive, he guided me in life and now with so much love and gratitude he guides me in death.
I have spent time with others, who would not have known the grief I felt ... as ... during this lifetime I have become good at being ok for others, (I have had more than enough practice at that). I painted a smile on during pilgrimage as my pain/grief was 'my cross' ... during time spent with others, I have cried but kept more within and literally broke within further, creating more blocks within me and then apologised for being upset as that was 'me' ... trying to be resilient and stoic even though broken within.
I kept myself away from most things, sessions, joining up with my groups, my pages etc as 'my heart has not been there' ... I have shared on this page and my personal page only when guided to do so.
I felt my divine connection wane, it has felt non existent at times and I have been ok with that as I knew I was vulnerable.
I have not been to mass since returning from Italy, I have not been to my Staffordshire group either as I did not wish to fall apart in front of others.
I did join a beautiful group with a dedication to Mary but my commitment was not ready so I have let that lapse ... but something happened this week within me, a shift in my energy and it is now time for me to 'live' once more.
I have been to the intimate SITP group and on Monday I felt a shift take place, the intimacy and the genuine love of this group helped.
Over the last number of weeks, following my return from St. Michaels Mount, I have prayed in private and searched for people to help me through this time and with loving guidance I found them.
I found the most beautiful soul who read for me, she confirmed so much and most importantly she 'felt' Mylo and the π€ connection, unbreakable bond between us.
She offered so much relief, through her beautiful, divine, healing connection and words, she has been a big part of me turning this corner.
Someone I had never met before gifted me a big part of my future through her gifts which added healing at a deep level, I will be forever grateful to this lady who without knowing me offered me the opportunity to just talk after meeting up on line to aid my healing, she offered her precious time to me, someone she did not know, that to me meant a lot at a time I needed it.
Then, my recent Trance Healing, again, offered me much, that too offered and gifted messages that were so on point only Mylo could have offered these, that healing truly helped my heart ... then ... last night, I returned to my Trance Healing group and once more a shift took place
Infact, over recent weeks, there have been small but massively important shifts taking place within me ... I see with new eyes and a heart that is continuing to open ... I speak to my boy every day. On waking, I turn to his picture and wish him a good morning, on returning to bed, I turn to his picture and bid him a good night's rest.
Mylo, was the one who returned me to this spiritual journey when I was 'closed' down ... he, I know was sent from the Divine, and with love he will continue to guide me ... for this connection is once more gently returning, I feel it, I know it and more importantly I accept it with grace, humility, respect and with a humbled heart.
There is oh so much I could share with you all regarding this 'connection' but today is not that day.
I wrote this all here for me, for my healing and in turn for anyone who chooses to read it all but most importantly, I wrote this here with the greatest respect for the Divine and my boy Mylo.
I will return to Mass, I will return to my Staffordshire group, I will return to what I do best, being 'off and in service with mutual balance' ... and if I'm honest I know this heartache is what many would call a tool in their spiritual tool box, for me, I call 'Divinely led' in order to truly support those in need.
Have a Blessed Day ... from my heart to yours ... Flourish, Blossom From WiThin πΌ XxX
βππ¦π£πππππ πππ βπ π¦π€ ... βπ¦ ... πππ πππβ
βοΈ Pic ... Mr Mylo πΌ 08.08 βοΈ
