Becky Grace Therapy Eating Disorders ADHD Autism OCD Norwich

09/03/2026

Many people assume eating difficulties are about food.

But in therapy, it often turns out that food is only the surface of something much deeper.

Over the years I’ve noticed a pattern that doesn’t get talked about very often, the link between trauma, morality, and the pressure to be a “good person.”

Many of the people I work with are thoughtful, conscientious individuals who hold themselves to very high standards. Being disciplined, responsible, and in control can become part of how they feel safe in the world.

And sometimes food becomes one of the places where that pressure shows up.

In this new blog post, I explore:

• why food can start to feel like a moral test
• how trauma can shape the need for control
• why binge eating and restriction often exist in the same system
• why insight alone rarely solves the problem

If you’ve ever felt trapped in cycles of control, guilt, or self-criticism around food, this might resonate.

You can read the article here: https://www.beckygracetherapy.co.uk/post/trauma-morality-eating-difficulties

If it does resonate, I’m also running a small therapy group called Midlife Eating Without the Shame, starting soon in person on Saturday 18th April in Norwich which you can book via eventbrite.

When people first come to see me about eating difficulties, they often assume the problem is food. They might say they want help with binge eating, or feeling out of control around certain foods. Sometimes it’s the opposite, rigid rules, restriction, and the feeling that eating has become somethin...

04/03/2026

Trauma "treatment" that forces a survivor to tell or relive their trauma in ways or on a timetable that is not chosen by the survivor, that the survivor is not in control of, or that serves the agenda, needs, or preferences of anyone but the survivor, is not ethical or effective.

26/02/2026

Saying you’re trauma-informed doesn’t automatically mean you are.

Trauma-informed care isn’t just warm language. It isn’t a soft tone.
It isn’t nodding a lot and being endlessly validating.

It’s about predictability.

It’s about saying:

“This is what we’re doing today.”
“This is why.”
“This is what the process looks like.”
“And you get to choose whether we go there.”

It’s about transparency.

No mystery, no hidden agenda, no sudden shifts in direction without explanation. It’s about collaboration.

Not therapy happening to someone.
Not the client trying to be the “good” or “easy” one.
But two adults working together, with clarity about roles.

And it’s about autonomy.

You can pause.
You can disagree.
You can say no.
You can ask why.

For many people, trauma wasn’t a lack of kindness. It was unpredictability. Powerlessness. Walking on eggshells.
Not knowing what version of someone you were going to get.

In my years working in NHS services, particularly in specialist eating disorder settings where risk, structure and medical safety really matter, I saw how essential clarity is.

When someone’s nervous system has lived in chaos, vagueness isn’t soothing. It’s destabilising.

Kindness matters.

But structure is safety.
Clarity is safety.
Boundaries are safety.

Sometimes the most trauma-informed thing I can do is hold a steady, regulated frame, even when that means not rescuing someone from discomfort.

Trauma-informed isn’t about being “nice”.

It’s about being safe.

23/02/2026

You don’t have to relive everything to heal.

One of the biggest myths about EMDR is that it’s about going back into trauma in intense detail. It isn’t.

EMDR helps your nervous system finish processing experiences that got stuck during overwhelm.

That’s why certain memories don’t feel like “the past.”
They feel like they’re happening now.

When something was too much, too fast, or too unsafe, the brain stores it in its original emotional and sensory form.

EMDR gently supports the brain’s natural healing process using eye movements, tapping, or sounds.

Over time people often notice - the emotional charge softens, their body isn’t on edge in the same way, triggers lose their grip, shame reduces, a sense of distance from old memories.

You don’t have to find perfect words.
You don’t have to explain everything.
You don’t have to perform insight.

This can be especially important if you’re autistic, ADHD, a deep thinker, or someone who finds talking exhausting.

Good EMDR is paced. Stabilised. Collaborative. It isn’t rushed.
And it’s never about “fixing” you.

If you’re curious about how EMDR actually works, I’ve written a short blog explaining it gently and clearly.

I’ll pop the link in the comments.

21/02/2026

I’m now listed on both the Autistic Therapist Directory and Pink Therapy.

For those looking for:
• Neuroaffirming CBT & EMDR
• Trauma therapy adapted for autistic / ADHD nervous systems
• LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy
• Eating disorder work without shame or pathologising difference

You can now find me through these specialist directories as well as via my website.

Norwich-based | In-person & online | EMDR intensives available

20/02/2026

Midlife can quietly make food harder again.

Even if you’ve “done the work.”
Even if you’re high-functioning.
Even if nobody would know you’re struggling.

I’m seeing more and more women in their 40s and 50s exhausted by the food noise, the on/off cycles, the guilt, the sense that their body has changed and the old rules no longer work.

This isn’t about willpower.
It isn’t about another plan.
And it isn’t about weight loss.

I’m opening a small, women-only, in-person therapy group:

Midlife Eating, Without the Shame

A 6-week, therapist-led group designed to help you:

• Understand why midlife can reactivate eating struggles
• Reduce shame and harsh self-criticism
• Regulate your nervous system
• Rebuild steadier patterns with food
• Feel less alone in it

This is an intimate group, maximum 7 women, so it stays safe (as possible), contained and supportive.

I’m a BABCP-accredited CBT & EMDR therapist and Registered Mental health nurse, specialising in eating difficulties, trauma and neurodiversity. I'm also AuDHD had a 30 year lived experience of an ED.

There is a brief screening process to ensure it’s the right fit for everyone.

You can view details and book directly via Eventbrite here:

6-week therapist-led group for women 35+ to break binge-restrict cycles, heal shame & build food freedom. Norwich NR3. Screening required.

19/02/2026

ARFID Nutrition iceberg ❄ ©

Where the iceberg sits above the water I have listed common ARFID nutrition traits that we often see such as food repetition, eating beige foods, food aversions, food jagging, low appetite, eating beige foods or cultural foods, limited variety and as such people with ARFID are labelled " picky, strange and difficult", you might also see fear or anxiety around food.

Below the water shows what is commonly true when it comes to ARFID. This is what you often don't see.

Sensory overwhelm
Trauma
Eating disorders (including ARFID)
Shame
Neuronormativity
Nervous system dysregulation
Medical trauma
Sensory feeding differences
Food scarcity
Anxiety
Executive functions differences
Meeting sensory needs
Lack of access to safe foods
Lack of accommodations
Interoception struggles
Gender dysphoria
Internalised ableism
Force feeding
Healthism, diet culture
Anti-fatness
+more

Instead of negatively labelling and trying to “fix” a person's way of eating, we really need to focus on meeting them where they are at, making accommodations where necessary, changing the environment so it’s supportive and providing support that makes eating more accessible. ♾

🧡💜 Your Neurodivergent Certified Practising Nutritionist and ND advocate

Thank you to .dietitian who did the first ARFID iceberg which is also amazing and you should go check it out on her page.

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Disclaimer: The information shared on this account is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

19/02/2026

My response when someone says 'CBT doesn't work for ADHD':

I just want to add a bit of nuance here, as someone who is BABCP-accredited and has worked delivering CBT within NHS Talking Therapies.

There’s a big difference between CBT as a therapeutic model and the way it’s sometimes delivered in brief NHS services.

In NHS settings, CBT is often offered in a 6–8 session, protocol-driven format, with a strong focus on symptom targets and service outcomes. That structure exists because of capacity and commissioning pressures, not because CBT itself is inherently rigid or invalidating.

When people describe CBT as “gaslight-y,” what they’ve often experienced is a very brief, standardised version that hasn’t been adapted for neurodivergence, particularly executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, or rejection sensitivity. If ADHD isn’t properly understood, interventions can land as “try harder” or “just challenge the thought,” which understandably feels invalidating.

But that isn’t CBT at its best.

Formulation-driven, neurodiversity-informed CBT for ADHD looks very different. It includes:

collaborative formulation, adapting pace and structure, working with shame and identity post-diagnosis, building external scaffolding systems, emotional regulation skills and addressing avoidance in a way that accounts for dopamine regulation.

It’s much more than worksheets.

So I’d be careful about writing off the whole approach based on a delivery model that’s shaped by NHS constraints. CBT has a strong evidence base for adult ADHD, but like any model, it needs to be adapted and delivered by someone who understands the presentation.

If you’re being offered it, I’d suggest asking whether the therapist has specific experience adapting CBT for ADHD. That’s likely to make a much bigger difference than the label alone.

16/02/2026

Hi, I'm Becky I’m a BABCP-accredited CBT & EMDR therapist based in NR3, specialising in eating disorders, complex trauma and neurodivergence.

I work particularly with women who are ADHD / autistic (diagnosed or self-identifying) and struggle with binge eating, food noise, impulsive eating, or shame around food.

I’m starting a small, in-person therapy group in Norwich:

🗓 Starts Saturday 18th April 9am
📍 NR3
👥 Limited spaces

This is structured, evidence-based support, not diet plans, not weigh-ins, not “just try harder”.

If you’re high-functioning but exhausted behind the scenes, this space is for you.

Details here ⬇️ https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1983158175488...

12/02/2026

I often joke that I’ve been working in the NHS since I was eight years old.

And in a way, that’s true.

My mum spent her whole career in the NHS as a Medical Secretary. In the 90s, during school holidays, I would go with her to the GP surgery from the age of eight right through to my mid-teens (and probably a little beyond that too).

I wasn’t sitting on reception, confidentiality was taken very seriously, but Mum had a small office upstairs where she did her audio transcription. I’d sit quietly reading, getting bored, watching a bit of TV, and when I was older, wandering into town for a while.

But mostly, I watched.

I watched doctors, nurses, reception staff, pharmacists, AHPs, the relationships between them, the pressures they carried, the unspoken dynamics of the system. I listened to their stresses, their humour, their exhaustion.

Looking back now, especially since losing my mum, I can see just how much that environment shaped me, my responses, my values, and ultimately my career path.

I’ve always been a quiet systems thinker. Not the loudest voice in the room, not an “influencer” type, but someone who observes deeply, reflects carefully, and thinks about how we can make organisations safer, more boundaried, and more humane for the people within them.

Here’s to the quiet, sensitive ones.

11/02/2026

For a long time, I have worked in the traditional weekly therapy model.

It works. It’s valuable. It changes lives.

But over the years, particularly working with complex trauma, eating disorders, and high-functioning professionals, I have noticed they need more focus, depth, containment. Momentum.

They are often the people who:

• Are intelligent and insightful
• Have already “done therapy”
• Understand their patterns
• Function well professionally
• But still feel something unresolved underneath

That’s why I now offer EMDR intensives.

My background is layered:
• Registered Mental Health Nurse
• BABCP-accredited CBT therapist
• EMDR therapist
• Yoga teacher & personal trainer

I care deeply about evidence-based work. And I care equally about embodiment. EMDR intensives allow us to work precisely, safely and efficiently, without stretching trauma work across months of start-stop sessions.

They’re structured. Planned. Integrated.
And they’re particularly suited to high-functioning professionals who don’t want to circle the same material for another year.

If you’re curious about whether this model might suit you, you’re welcome to message me.

29/10/2025

The “Eating Disorder Voice” What It Gets Right (and What It Misses)

You’ve probably heard people talk about “the eating disorder voice.”

That internal dialogue that criticises, controls, and convinces you that you’ll only be safe if you follow its rules.

For some people, naming this voice can be really helpful.
It makes the eating disorder feel separate, something you can observe, challenge, and eventually loosen your grip from.
It can be a powerful way to understand that the harsh thoughts aren’t you.

But for others, especially if you’re neurodivergent, the “voice” might not sound like a bully at all.

It might feel more like a structure, a sense of safety, or even a coping system that helped you survive when the world felt too unpredictable.

Sometimes, what gets labelled an “ED voice” is actually:
💭 Confusion around hunger or fullness (interoception)
💭 Sensory overwhelm and the need for control
💭 A drive for predictability in a chaotic environment
💭 The nervous system trying to protect you from fear or rejection

When we frame recovery as a fight against that voice, we can accidentally reinforce shame, or miss the wisdom underneath.

Instead, I often invite clients to ask:
✨ What is this part trying to protect me from?
✨ What does it need in order to feel safe?
✨ How can I bring curiosity instead of criticism to this part of me?

Because recovery isn’t about silencing your inner voice.
It’s about learning what it’s trying to say, and helping it rest.