http://www.thenourishmentninja.com/

The Nourishment Ninja, Norwood (2025)

09/10/2025

It’s kind of crazy that I’ve been in remission for about a year now. I had a minor wobble in spring and my mood dipped a little lately but the GP was proactive in adjusting my meds. It’s been so nice to be able to get on with enjoying my life and doing normal things. I’ve had one proper mental health appointment this year in February and that’s it!!

I’m currently figuring out what I’m doing next since I finished studying. Let’s see what the universe holds for me.

04/08/2025

A little sea swim after a weekend of climbing was a delicious way to end the day. We may have fathed about a lot, there’s a chance we screamed a lot and laughed a lot more but we got in eventually. No photos from climbing because we were too busy exhausting ourselves climbing. Great trip- look forward to the next one.

29/07/2025

And just like that, it’s the end of an era. I completed what I started in 2014.

It’s been SUCH a journey. I started the masters with two perfectly good knees, playing rugby and with relatively stable mental health. I come out with one good knee, more focused on climbing and with stable mental health. In the middle, there was chaos and a bunch of rapid cycling for a while but despite all the literal highs and lows, the admissions, the medication changes, the times when I felt like I couldn’t do it- I still did it. I couldn’t have done it alone, I’ve had a lot of support from a lot of people and for that I’m super grateful. Now I’m qualified it’s time for the next adventure.

10/06/2024

Iatrogenic harm is real. The impacts of medical negligence are real. The impact of feeling trapped, voiceless and in excruciating mental pain may never leave me but it drives me to be the best healthcare professional that I can be. I never want to be the reason any of my future patients feel the way that I have felt.

I hope that I can overcome it again soon by focusing all of my energy on the future. Time only move forwards. It can be hard when your body and mind drag you to the past, feeling like you’re in a hospital bedroom when you know you’re on a sofa. The dizziness from stress making you go to bed for your own safety because you just need to feel safe. The emotional outbursts that cause panic attacks and crying until you nearly throw up are all valid even if current healthcare professionals are dismissive. Despite all of this, I am discharged from the CMHT that caused it all.

I hope I never have to go back there. I hope I never have to go back to the Ladywell Unit. I hope this combination of medication keep me well for a long long time, if not indefinitely. Fortunately if I get unwell there is a back up medication plan for a drug that works exceptionally well for bipolar - and that brings me some peace of mind that if I do go back, there will be a quick exit from reliving the trauma. You’re not alone even if it feels like there’s no support. I am very privileged to have a solid support system. Sometimes I need to remind myself to lean into that for fear of “bothering” or “worrying” people. I am so grateful to not be alone on this journey. Thank you thank you to everyone who is in the background holding the pieces of me together when I can’t.

For now, forwards motion as much as I can. Focusing on my work is really cathartic for the pain I feel. If there’s a reason to become a healthcare professional it is surely this.

08/06/2024

Sometimes people talk about the trauma of a mental illness episode. This time around, I have been really affected by my admission and care. It has triggered things I really believed I had left behind. Mostly experiences of bad care triggered by particular healthcare professionals from the past being involved in my current care. I now believe this wasn’t an intentional impact but at the time I really believed a particular doctor was trying to destroy me again.

It’s hard when I thought I’d left 2011-2014 in the past. It’s over ten years ago now but apparently ugly things can re-emerge and knock you sideways. I haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD but there are definitely trauma symptoms. The best response is to keep in living, to continue to show them that I always wanted to be well. I wasn’t well because I didn’t get the right care for a long time but wellness is my version of revenge. If you can be anything, be who you needed when you were younger. There is power in that.

03/06/2024

I was initially advised to take the whole summer off and return to uni in October. This presented me with the opportunity to have complete freedom over my time for the summer months, but I denied the opportunity.

To me freedom isn’t just about free time. I have had plenty of free time from being unwell iver the years. You soon lose your purpose, your sense of self and direction. You soon lose a part of yourself Before COVID people thought I was chatting nonsense but when everyone was furloughed and trapped at home, people began to understand the detriment it can have on your mental health.

I’ve lived years like that so for me freedom is being able to do things I love, spend time working and enjoying free time and being able to delve into studying dietetics. Freedom is having the opportunity to do things with my life that I’ve wanted for a long time but have been restricted due to the nature and severity of my illness.

Freedom is living. Studying for me, is freedom. Hopefully one day working as a dietitian will be my freedom.

02/06/2024

It's the last day of my holiday. I feel happy and sad about it. I am looking forward to coming home and seeing my cat, boyfriend and friends. I am sad to not be able to spend to much time with my mum for a while, probably until the end of the year now. I am grateful for the time we have had together. I am grateful for the opportunities I have been provided with, such as diving, snorkelling, seeing a different part of the world. I am relieved in some ways as I have, for the first time in my life, had a bout of homesickness. Weird and I have no idea why.

Just because I have been on holiday does not mean my troubles were also left at home. I have had a few crying spells, intrusive memories and all that jazz to deal with. I have dealt with it and I Have made it to the end of the holiday in one piece.

We've made another chapter of cool memories together, and had a giggle. I've lost count of the amount of times I have said "I'm having such a good time": a good sign of a good time for me.

29/05/2024

What is recovery in bipolar disorder?

Recovery in a general sense to me used to mean getting completely better. For example, recovery for my leg injury is probably as good as it is going to get. I can run and jump and I can trust my leg to carry me through my days now.

Bipolar recovery is a big different because there is no such end goal where I no longer have to deal with it. It will always be there and I will always place limits on me because to be well, I can’t skip sleep, do an all nighter or take on too much.

I have to be mindful at all times about my choices. I have to keep track of where I am at day to day, and be mindful of symptoms rearing up. Often the big relapses apparently come out of the blue but there is always something I was pushing myself to achieve and yet, we cannot accomplish anything without pushing ourselves.

Recovery is remission rather than a full recovery. It is a remission to a stable mood, clearer thinking and being able to do the basics: sleeping, eating and day to day activities without as much conscious effort. There is always conscious effort involved though.

09/03/2023

Made a pizza including the dough. It was a ready mix, just add water pack but I think it still counts. I was initially a bit disappointed when I took it out the oven because it didn’t look great but it tasted banging. Now I’m going to chill and try to get some proper sleep with my full tummy.

Toppings: tomato purée, some grated cheddar, roasted aubergine, goats cheese and red onion chutney. 😋 Delicious.

05/03/2023

Mona and me up to our usual antics of spreading our gear all over The Reach. We practiced some falling on lead because we both have the same mental barrier blocking us from climbing harder on lead because it’s scary. It was a great session and we also figured out how to improve our lead belaying technique which was good fun.

03/02/2023

⭐️⭐️GIVE AWAY! ⭐️⭐️

📖 Reading is powerful. Reading helps me to escape the world or learn more about parts of the world we live in. I love it and I don’t do enough reading. I am working my way through my books currently, most are on Kindle but some are hard copies.

❤️ So I’m the name of caring is sharing and knowledge is power I’m giving away my copy of ‘The Brain: The Story of You’ by David Eagleman.

🧠 It’s a great read. It’s super interesting and very accessible for a neuroscience book. Bridging the gap between the cutting edge of science as we know it now and popular non-fiction.

If you’re interested either drop a comment or DM and we’ll figure something out so you can read it too.

😛 There’s one catch though.

🫶🏻 Once you’ve read it you have to pay it forward. Write your name, or a nickname, the year and city that you read the book in the inside cover page.

🥰 Then hopefully there will be a little list of people who enjoyed the book before the next person.

🤗 Feel free to share this post with anyone you know who might be interested in reading this book.

* Cat is not included she stays with me 🐈‍⬛

30/01/2023

This Thursday is Time to Talk Day.

Time to Talk Day is an awareness day to get people talking about their mental health. So to honour the day I will be doing an Insta Live with Bethan to talk about our mental health.

Bethan is a runner, a mother and a mental health advocate with lived experience of suffering from poor mental health.

In particular we will be talking about perinatal mental health, entering a pregnancy with known long term mental health issues and about the help she has found beneficial. We’ll also talk about how we have both gone about asking for help in the past and covering some of the struggles in accessing the right support at times.

Join us on LIVE this Thursday at 8pm. Looking forward to it and hope to see you there! 🙌🏼

The Nourishment Ninja

09/10/2025

04/08/2025

29/07/2025

10/06/2024

08/06/2024

03/06/2024

02/06/2024

29/05/2024

09/03/2023

05/03/2023

03/02/2023

30/01/2023

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