Anita Maidment Counselling

26/02/2026

Its not about the label, its about understanding your own brain and working with it 😊

20/02/2026

Do you recognise any of this?
I do.
And for me it showed up as spending as many lunchtimes as possible avoiding the lunch hall and playground by seeking out quieter, calmer, safer feeling spaces such as the music room, library or computer room.

We were always there. Its just that we have challenged the labels of 'chatterbox', 'daydreamer,' 'sensitive' or 'messy' that we collected back then and we now have one that fits, that explains, that helps us understand ourselves.

‘We didn’t have ADHD in my day.’

I hear that a lot. And every time, I want to say: Actually, you did. I was there.

I’m 50 now. I started school in 1979. I was that child -the one who talked too much (‘Emma is a very bubbly child’ or ‘Emma is very chatty’ was always on my school report’ My favourite comment of all though was ‘Emma fluctuates from being passionately focussed or extremely disinterested’ that teacher totally got me 😁), thinking, questioning, daydreaming. The one who ‘had potential’ but never quite delivered the way the system expected.

When people say ADHD is some new trend, I think about being 5 years old and sitting in a doctor’s office while my parents asked for help because ‘she doesn’t stop all day.’ The doctor smiled and said, ‘She’s just hyperactive. There’s nothing wrong with her.’ And that was that.

But there was something different about the way my brain worked. I just didn’t have the language for and neither did the adults around me. Back then, kids like me were called ‘distracted,’ ‘disruptive,’ ‘daydreamers,’ ‘lazy,’ ‘too talkative,’ ‘too sensitive,’or ‘too much.’ We were labelled then -but you didn’t probably care. I have the correct label now and that matters.

I was there in the classroom, switching off because everything felt slow or repetitive or just… not interesting enough to hold my attention. I was there when I underachieved, while you were probably excelling and getting gold stars. I was always there -just often missed, overlooked, or misunderstood.

ADHD isn’t new. But what is new is the recognition and the understanding that’s finally starting to catch up. The awareness that ADHD shows up differently in different people, and that girls -especially back in the day- were often missed entirely because we didn’t always fit the stereotype. We weren’t always bouncing off the walls.

Sometimes, we were quietly zoning out, overwhelmed inside but masking it with a smile.

To me, ADHD means I have a brain that’s wired for interest, not for routine. It means I feel everything more intensely -boredom, excitement, frustration, passion. It means my thoughts move fast, sometimes faster than I can keep up with, and it takes effort to rein them in. It means I struggle with things others find simple, and I thrive in places they find chaotic.

But ADHD also means creativity. It means seeing patterns others don’t, jumping between ideas, thinking outside the box because I never really fit inside it anyway. It means I can be spontaneous, empathetic, intuitive, and deeply curious.

Yes, ADHD brings challenges -but it also brings strengths. And it’s not a flaw or a failure. It’s a difference. A valid, neurodivergent way of experiencing the world.

So no, ADHD isn’t ‘new.’ It just wasn’t talked about. It wasn’t seen. People like me were there the whole time -you just didn’t notice us. Or if you did, you probably misunderstood what you were seeing.

Now I know how to manage my brain -which comes from knowing I am AuADHD- things are easier; I know when to rest, to take time out and to let myself go with the interest I have. I can laugh at myself when I’m researching an actor in a TV show I’m watching while relaying the facts I’ve found to Hubbie.

I don’t mind being on the go all the time; I recognise my burn out or near burn out that always looms just around the corner.

It’s doesn’t bother me that you’re upset that you’ve finally noticed people whose brains are different to yours.

I was always there.

Emma
The Autistic SENCo
Infinity

Photo: Me. Yesterday when the yellow thing in the sky appeared.i got a little overexcited.

18/02/2026

Another blog!
Taking the first step: a supportive guide to beginning counselling

"I wish I had found Anita earlier, she’s like a supportive, intelligent friend"

So you found my social media page or website and something feels right about working with me. I know that the first contact can feel really hard, a step into the unknown, so I’m writing this to shed some light on those next steps, to hopefully make them a little easier.
A good way to take that first step is to book a free call to speak to me, to get a feel for what I am like. You can do that via the contact page on my website, emailing or texting. Or you can call and leave a message, whatever feels most comfortable. I will then get back to you to arrange a time to speak; no charge; no obligation. It’s just a chat to find out more. I will ask a little bit about what has brought you to consider counselling at this point, and we discuss how we might work together. It’s a space for you to ask any questions you might have.
I know sometimes clients prefer to dive right in and book a session. That’s fine too. Just contact me and we can sort that. I will find out a little bit to make sure counselling is appropriate before we book.
So we’ve agreed an appointment! What happens next?
Once we have made an appointment, I will email you the booking details, address and a copy of my counselling agreement. That is a short document that sets out terms and conditions like cancellation policy and safeguarding. It also has payment instructions (I take payment for the first session when you book).
If we are working online, I will send you a link for the session usually the day before. It is important you have a private safe space where you won’t be disturbed and where you can talk freely.
If we are working in person, you will find me on the north side of Okehampton. There is parking, and the room is on the ground floor with level access other than one step up. If you need a higher chair then I can sort that for you. If you need anything else to help make counselling accessible, lets talk and I’ll see what I can do.
You can look forward to an enthusiastic greeting from the resident dog, if you are happy to meet him – he is happy to meet everyone! I can also make you a hot drink if you would like, while you settle in. I have a dedicated therapy room which is very private and homely and I hope to help you feel safe and comfortable.
Once you are comfortable, we might get the paperwork out of the way – collect a few important details and get the counselling agreement signed if you haven’t already returned it, and maybe do a quick wellbeing questionnaire if that feels right. The questionnaire is up to you but it can be useful. Its not the NHS, we can keep forms to a minimum!
In the first session my main aim is to start to build our relationship - to ensure you are comfortable with me and feel able to talk.
Practically, I’d like to get an overview of how you are now, how things are impacting you, and a little background on the issue. There is no pressure to dive in to difficult content in the first session, or indeed ever. You are in control. If you have an idea of what you are hoping to get from our sessions together, then we can discuss that too.
The resident poodle is available for cuddles if you would like. Again, you are in control of whether he is in the room or not.
You don’t need to have anything prepared, or even know what you are hoping to get out of sessions. We can figure it out together.
Towards the end of our first session we will check if therapy with me still feels right for you. Then we can book the next session and talk about frequency of sessions etc.
Many clients like to have a regular session at the same time every week. Knowing that they have a regular session booked can help them feel safe to explore whatever they are finding difficult.
Others opt for fortnightly sessions or plan sessions around their busy lives, because life doesn’t always fit a regular routine.
I do suggest that you aim for fortnightly sessions at least to ensure we can make progress. Some people choose to start with weekly sessions and attend less frequently as they progress with their therapy. My aim is to offer flexibility so you can access the support you need.
If you want to switch to online sometimes (perhaps you are away from home, don’t want to travel in bad weather, or timings are just tight) we can do that too.
We can also work in different ways, not just talking, if that works best for you. I guess that’s the subject for the next blog 😊
Ready to take the next step?
Contact me at anitamaidmentcounselling.com
https://anitamaidmentcounselling.com/blog

12/02/2026

Not just if you're neurodivergent.
Self care.
Put your own oxygen mask on first.

11/02/2026

Men, if you are wondering what therapy might be like, watch this...

06/02/2026

https://youtu.be/HbvBE7vDe80

Men can benefit from talking therapy such as Counselling or Psychotherapy too. Counselling is confidential and is a safe space to talk. Arrange an intro call...

06/02/2026

It can feel really vulnerable to make the first move to talk to someone about how you are feeling so we keep things bottled up inside.

Why not start the conversation by checking in with a friend today?

Picture credit to Counselling Directory

06/02/2026

This is spot on.

You do you.

Link to the first set is in the comments on the original post

04/02/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1KYPGvsYE3/

01/02/2026

This!
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1B3qvdYfPE/

30/01/2026

So...I've written my first blog!

It explores how counselling can be useful for women wondering whether they have ADHD. Its not about medicalising, its about supporting you exploring who you are.

Tell me what blog content you would you like to see in the comments ⏬️
And do have a read of this one by clicking on the pic 😊

I am a qualified and registered psychotherapeutic counsellor offering in-person counselling in Okehampton, Devon as well as online, telephone and home visits to suit you.

30/01/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/1BugxSa5xd/

My PDA Autistic kid NOW, is the same kid, that he has ALWAYS been.

Kind. Curious.
Fiercely independent.

Anxious and
protective of his routines.

Eager to learn.
Competive.
Assertive.

Hyperfocused. Playful.

And desiring close connection with people he deems SAFE.
_____________________

That's Charlie in a nutshell.

It's ALWAYS been Charlie.

He's NOT a bad kid.
Just an intense and earnest one.

And yet some people, have demonized his drive for Autonomy....

So I'm going to sum it up, in 3 stories.

If you can't read them all, that's okay...pick one and then skip ahead to the end.
____________________

🌠Story 1

It all began at Preschool....

We went to Head Start. A government program for low income families.

He attended half days, 4 days a week. They served Federally Funded meals that included milk.

🍎Teacher:
Can we talk about how he
doesn't ask adults for help?

We worry he is experiencing neglect, at home.

🧠Me:
Grandma is a retired
preschool teacher, and
lives with him.

She lives FOR him.

She reads to him for
2 hours each day.

He is not neglected.
Charlie is TREASURED.

🍎Teacher:
Well, can you explain why
he would approach a water
fountain that is TOO high
for a 3 year old,

vault onto it, and straddle it
so he can lean forward to drink?

None of the other kids can use the cross handle faucet. It's from the 1940's.

It turns counter-clockwise,
towards the drinker.

Most kids ask for a drink.
But Charlie gets his OWN drinks.

He figured it out!

🧠Me:
Charlie has a milk allergy
and you don't provide water
at meals.

You REQUIRE him to use an inaccessible water fountain,

but YOUR concern is that he figured out a way to accomodate HIMSELF?

🍎Teacher:
Look, this is a courtesy
call. We would like to
conduct a home visit.

You can refuse. But it would
help us to see Charlie in
his home Environment.

His independence is concerning.

🧠Me:
And if I don't agree?

🍎Teacher:
Well, I would feel compelled
to contact a social worker.
___________________________

🌠🌠Story 2

2 years later, Charlie entered

A Traditional School Environment.
And it got even worse....

🍏Teacher:
Charlie had a bad day.

He was in the red zone for
most of the day... so I withheld
recess and had him sit INside
while the class went OUTside.

🧠Me:
What do you mean?

🍏Teacher:
Charlie kept playing with
the Velcro on his shoes.

It was distracting his peers.

I told him to stop and he
stood up from the circle time
rug, marched to the far corner,

and threw his shoes at the
wall, before returning.

🧠Me:
It sounds like he needed
to fidget and became
frustrated when you denied
him the only fidget available.

But he still removed himself from the group before throwing the shoes.

He didn't hurt anyONE.
He didn't break anyTHING.

He was impulsive but still
managed to be SAFE.

And you responded by
taking away his movement break.

Did that improve
afternoon behavior?

🍏Teacher:
Charlie continued to
stay in the Red Zone.

He didn't complete his Math
worksheet. And he asked
if we had toys.

When I said we only use
Manipulatives during certain
types of lessons and it was
worksheet time...

...he lay on the floor and
Meowed like a cat.

🧠Me:
He needed movement
and didn't get it.

So he expressed an age
appropriate desire for toys,
and when you told him they
weren't available,

he engaged in make-believe
play, instead?

🍏Teacher:
Charlie needs to conform
to expectations.

🧠Me:
If your expectations aren't
rooted in an understanding
of child development, then
Charlie will require
accomodations.

Children NEED movement breaks.

🍏Teacher:
Charlie doesn't have
an IEP plan.

🧠Me:
How do I request an IEP plan?

🍏Teacher:
Write to the principal.

*2 days later*

👩‍🏫 Principal:
Kindergarteners are not
eligible for IEP plans.

(That wasn't true)
_______________________

🌠🌠 🌠 Story 3

IEP Evaluations at a new school, a year later

👨🏾‍🏫 Principal:
Charlie isn't Autistic.
He's too SMART to be Autistic.

🧠Me:
Charlie already has an Autism
diagnosis from a board of.
Neurodevelopmental
psychologists.

What training do you have
about Autism?

👨🏾‍🏫 Principal:
None, but I don't need any.

He can make eye contact.

He likes learning but he
needs rules, punishments,
and strict enforcement.

You need to make him fit in.

🧠Me:
Autism and intellect limiting
conditions are 2 DIFFERENT
kinds of disabilities.

There is no such thing as
TOO smart to be Autistic.

And Autistic people aren't
deathly allergic to eye contact.

👨🏾‍🏫 Principal:
You know what I mean.

🧠Me:
I am familiar with harmful
stereotypes, yes, you are
correct.

If he likes learning, I think you
could find ways to motivate him.

But if you need ideas, I can
provide some. And I can also
buy reinforcer prizes he
can earn for participating.

👨🏾‍🏫 Principal:
Reinforcement doesn't
work with Charlie.

🧠Me:
What do you mean?

👨🏾‍🏫Principal:
We have a classroom money
system where kids purchase
prizes.

But Charlie always
saves his money for
the same thing.

🧠Me:
What does he save for?

👨🏾‍🏫Principal:
For a parapro to take him
on an extra library visit so he
can read the Smithsonian
website.

He wants to learn things
that are above his reading
level so he needs assistance.

🧠Me:
That's great!

👨🏾‍🏫Principal:
We would prefer he
purchase candy or video
game time.

He is the only kid in the
class who saves up
long enough,
to earn
supported choice time.

Our parapros are busy
people. So we make that
prize take 2 full weeks of
earning.

🧠Me:
If Charlie's choice is a
problem, you could remove
it from the menu.

👨🏾‍🏫Principal:
No. We like kids to THINK
they could earn extra
recess, even if its not
ever gonna happen.

Hope is motivating.
___________________________

🌠🌠 Summing it all up: 🌠🌠

Now, Charlie is 14 years old.

But now that he is older, adults seem to appreciate things like

*his independent problem solving,

*his playfulness,

*his imagination,

*his ability to vent frustration in relatively safe ways,

*his desire to learn from close connections with others,

*his ability to see through B.S.

*and his ability to delay gratification.
__________________________

But in a very DEEP and REAL way, Charlie hasn't changed.

What HAS changed, is that adults are more tolerant NOW, of his drive for Autonomy.

They expect it, in a teenager...

but they weren't prepared to accept it from a child of 3, 5, or 7.

And CHARLIE paid the consequence for their intolerance.
________________________

For YEARS, representatives of educational and medical systems, made Charlie feel unsafe.

They send Social services to investigate him,

referred him to stern ABA techs,

pathologized his desire to play in his own way,

denied him supports,

criticized him for making use of the supports that WERE available,

AND they demonized his desire to learn beyond their limited curriculum.
________________________

Charlie is Autistic and ADHD.

Charlie is PDA.

Charlie is disabled (in the social model of disability).

And ALSO, Charlie is perfectly FINE, just as he is.

I wouldn't change him for all the tea in China.

And I hope very much that the world prepares itself for more Charlies.
_____________________________

PDA Kids are already out there!

Their Moms and Dads are getting wiser, stronger, and louder.

And we are tired of the shifting standards, that leave our kids

labeled "old souls" when
they are young,

and "immature" when the
same kid is a little older.
___________________________

Charlie has always been Charlie. It just took you 11 years to get ready for him.

And Thats a YOU problem.

It should NEVER have been Charlie's.