Lottie Passell-Syms

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United Kingdom
Otterbourne
Lottie Passell-Syms

I work with couples and individuals to address relationship challenges such as communication, intimacy and s*xual concerns.

I provide a confidential and supportive space so clients can strengthen connection and move towards more fulfilling relationships. About Me
I have experience working across a broad variety of issues and difficulties that include: relationship difficulties, stress, anxiety and depression, s*x and intimacy issues, s*xual dysfunction in both men and women, low self esteem, specific age and stage related issues. As well as s*xual abuse, addiction, infidelity and childhood trauma. I have a vast array of tools, techniques and templates for all manner of issues, that have proven to be incredibly beneficial in repairing and healing the lives of those I have worked with. How I Work

I am here to work through your goals whether that is to increase passion and pleasure in your relationship, communicate openly with ease or reconnect with yourself and partner. Of course, at its heart, therapy is about forming a relationship, working with a person you can both trust and build a rapport which is vital. I would also say it is probably the most important element of successful therapy. I describe myself as a progressive therapist who generates change. The focus will be coming out of crisis to develop a new contract which will allow for a healthier happier relationship. Individual and couples therapies are available by appointment, as well as via FaceTime and Zoom. As a member of the National Counselling Society (NCS) and College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) I adhere to their Code of Ethics and practice guidelines.

24/11/2025

An intensive isn’t about “fixing” or forcing a certain outcome. Instead, it offers the depth, time, and skilled guidance needed to understand what’s really happening between you. Couples often discover renewed clarity, compassion, and direction, whether that means moving forward together with greater alignment or recognising that a different path is the most respectful next step. It’s about grounding your decisions in understanding, not overwhelm.

My wonderful colleague James Penney, and I bring together two complementary lenses in our work with couples:

James, with his depth of systemic understanding, helps couples recognise the patterns moving beneath the surface.

And me, with a focus on emotional process and attachment, help bring the relational and internal worlds into the room.

Together, we gently reveal both the insights and the shadow parts, the subconscious material that influences how partners protect, distance, or attach. Making the unconscious conscious is what enables couples to shift from reactive relating to conscious relationship, where choices are made with awareness rather than autopilot.

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If you are finding yourself wondering “where are we going” and more often “how we got here”, we have the experience and knowledge to help you reconsider staying , after all the empire your have created and the relationship you have built deserves checking out ‘what’s next for us’ .

Now taking bookings for January 2026 - follow the link below

https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/couples-intensives-james-and-lottie

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

21/11/2025

This year seems to have moved at a speed none of us expected and the darker evenings make 8pm feel suspiciously like 11pm.

Those early nightfall hours can trick us into winding down long before we need to, retreating into routine, television, or quiet fatigue.

But there’s a hidden opportunity in this shift.

If it isn’t actually 11pm, then there might be two or three hours that can become something more intentional, time to reconnect, talk, be curious, or simply sit together with out distraction or phones pinging.

If you always do what you have always done then you will get the some results …

Try the John Gottman card decks app, start with affirmations and work your way down.

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

19/11/2025

While this season is wrapped in messages of joy and harmony, many couples quietly find it one of the most emotionally complex times of the year.

Expectations collide with reality, old family patterns reappear, and the pressure to “be festive” can make communication feel tighter rather than more open.

Instead of the usual seasonal advice, I want to offer something simpler: the invitation to talk to each other—really talk.

Not for problem-solving, not for negotiating logistics, but to connect with curiosity.

A Simple Example: Imago Dialogue Made Easy in 3 Steps
Here’s a gentle way to open space for each other:

STEP 1. Mirroring:
Partner A: “I’m feeling worried as we head toward Christmas.” Repeat back completely (the sentence needs to be small)

Partner B: “What I hear you saying is that you’re feeling worried as we head toward Christmas… is there more?”

Partner A "No that’s it" - there could be more, so repeat the sentence again, then Partner B repeats back

STEP 2. Validation:
“Given everything happening, it makes sense that you’d feel that way.” What do you need from me? (Shows intimacy)

STEP 3. Empathy:
“I imagine that feels heavy and lonely at times.”

The structure protects you both from spiralling into old patterns. It helps you stay connected to the human curiosity behind the words.

If there is more carry it on, small sentence repeats back and only one topic at a time.
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From October to December, I’m offering a free 30-minute consultation (usually 15 minutes) a gentle space to explore what might be missing, and what’s worth nurturing as you move forward together.

Text 07788 492 202 and I will respond with 24 hours

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

17/11/2025

If your relationship feels a little strained right now, Christmas can sometimes highlight the distance between where you are and where you’d like to be.

Talking with a therapist can bring fresh perspective, help you realign, and open up new possibilities for connection.

From October to December, I’m offering a free 30-minute consultation (usually 15 minutes) a gentle space to explore what might be missing, and what’s worth nurturing as you move forward together.

Text 07788 492 202 and I will respond with 24 hours

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

14/11/2025

The Playbook: The Comprehensive Guide to Working with Couples is training for Therapists, where I share my Five Pillars of Assessment - the method I’ve developed and refined over two decades of working with couples.

It’s the foundation for everything that follows, helping you begin the work with safety, structure, and deep understanding.

I’ll take you step-by-step through how to assess, contract, hold, teach, and lead couples effectively

…and how to grow your practice with the mindset, money, and marketing tools that support you as a therapist.

💫 Early-bird enrolment is open now
💫 £150 off when you pay in full (£1,500 total)
💫 12-month payment plan option
💫 Instant access to the Couples Counselling Success Bundle
💫 Plus 1 month free in the Couples Counselling Collective (starting 2026)

If you’ve ever wanted to feel confident and equipped working with couples or know a colleague who would love this, this is for you.

🔗 Follow the link:

https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/the-playbook

With love,
Lottie x
*xual *xualcounselling *xualtherapy *xualtherapist *xandrelationships *xandintimacy

12/11/2025

Reciprocity is the mutual exchange of emotional support, respect, time, effort, love, and energy in a relationship. It's not transactional, it's transformational.

When both partners give willingly, without expectation or condition, it creates a relationship built on trust, generosity, and emotional safety.

Instead of ‘I’ll do this for you because I expect something in return,’ the mindset becomes ‘I want to do this for you because I care about you.’

But why is it so essential for couples? .. read the full blog post to find out:

https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/post/reciprocity-in-relationships

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

10/11/2025

So many relationships falter because one or both partners fall into the trap of ‘give to get.’ This approach breeds resentment, entitlement, and emotional distance. When giving is conditional, love becomes a bargaining chip rather than a bond.

In contrast, when couples adopt a ‘give to give’ mindset, they nurture a relationship rooted in selflessness and sincerity. Here's why that matters:

It builds trust. When you give out of love, not obligation, your partner feels seen, valued, and secure.

It Heightens emotional intimacy. Acts of giving create connection, vulnerability, and warmth between partners.

It prevents power struggles. Reciprocity keeps the relationship balanced. No one feels like they're carrying all the emotional or practical weight.

It encourages growth. Giving inspires giving. Your generosity naturally encourages your partner to invest back into the relationship, not out of pressure, but from a place of love.

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

07/11/2025

Real love is found in the quiet, consistent acts of giving with an open heart.

Reciprocity is not about perfection, it’s about presence.

When two people choose to give to give, not to get, they create a foundation of love that’s generous, enduring, and deeply rewarding.

Because in the end, the most meaningful relationships aren’t about what we get from someone, but what we’re willing to give, together.

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

05/11/2025

Therapists, you already hold individuals through love, loss, and transformation…
but when two nervous systems walk into the room, everything changes.

Working with couples asks us to hold complexity with even more clarity, courage, and containment.

That’s why I created The Playbook: The Comprehensive Guide to Working with Couples.

In this training, I share my Five Pillars of Assessment, the method I’ve developed and refined over two decades of working with couples.

It’s the foundation for everything that follows, helping you begin the work with safety, structure, and deep understanding.

I’ll take you step-by-step through how to assess, contract, hold, teach, and lead couples effectively

…and how to grow your practice with the mindset, money, and marketing tools that support you as a therapist.

💫 Early-bird enrolment is open now
💫 £150 off when you pay in full (£1,500 total)
💫 12-month payment plan option
💫 Instant access to the Couples Counselling Success Bundle
💫 Plus 1 month free in the Couples Counselling Collective (starting 2026)

If you’ve ever wanted to feel confident and equipped working with couples or know a colleague who would love this, this is for you.

🔗 https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/the-playbook

With love,
Lottie x

Lottie x
*xual *xualcounselling *xualtherapy *xualtherapist *xandrelationships *xandintimacy

31/10/2025

Why is "give to give" the key for couples?

There are so many coupes who are struggling and finding it difficult to talk let alone share their time together.

A healthy, thriving relationship, means that you are showing up for each other, It's not about keeping score, who does more, but about mutual investment, empathy, and care.

True reciprocity means giving to give, not to get. When you are with the person that is making an investment in you and you with them reciprocity guides the relationship to a more respectful and humbled relationships.

To read my full blog post follow the link below ...

https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/post/reciprocity-in-relationships

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

29/10/2025

My FREE monthly workshop for couples is tonight (29th October) at 8pm and this month's topic is:

"Recovery from affairs"

Join me, where will talk about how to recover from an affair.

HOW TO ATTEND:
If you're on my mailing list and you will have been sent the link. Otherwise you can head over to my private Facebook Group: S3x, Intimacy and Relationship Workshop join from there.

Please like, share and tag anyone who you feel would benefit from this FREE Live Workshop.

NOTE: This is for Couples, however Therapists are more than welcome to join and learn for personal or professional reasons.

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

Address

Otterbourne

Telephone

+447788492202

Website

http://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/

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