Lottie Passell-Syms

31/12/2025

Happy new year to you all!

Love Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

29/12/2025

Resolutions dissolve fast, days, weeks, sometimes hours. However, a vision has roots and adventure for that bigger picture.

Instead of asking “What should I fix?” - consider asking:
“Who am I becoming?”
“What experiences do I want more of?”
“Where have I been dormant?”

Maybe 2026 is about:
- Meeting new people who stretch your world
- Learning to enjoy your own company
- Rediscovering pleasure, creativity and humour
- Choosing rest without guilt
- Making space for intimacy - not just s*x but presence
- Returning to the partnership you want to build, not the one you fear losing
- Letting yourself be surprised again

Here's to you in 2026 ..

Love Lottie
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

24/12/2025

Wishing you a Merry Christmas,

Love Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

22/12/2025

An existential crisis isn’t necessarily a collapse, it can be a doorway - an opportunity.

The past is unchangeable, the future unknown, but we are here - now.

And now is incredibly fertile.

This season, you might want to offer yourself a two-week free pass:
- A pause from self-criticism.
- A pause from blame.
- A pause from the stories that loop without resolution.

Use that space for calm, emotional regulation, curiosity, and noticing where life is quietly inviting you to grow.

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

19/12/2025

The Playbook: The Comprehensive Guide to Working with Couples is training for Therapists, where I share my Five Pillars of Assessment - the method I’ve developed and refined over two decades of working with couples.

It’s the foundation for everything that follows, helping you begin the work with safety, structure, and deep understanding.

I’ll take you step-by-step through how to assess, contract, hold, teach, and lead couples effectively … and how to grow your practice with the mindset, money, and marketing tools that support you as a therapist.

💫 Early-bird enrolment is open now
💫 £150 off when you pay in full (£1,500 total)
💫 12-month payment plan option
💫 Instant access to the Couples Counselling Success Bundle
💫 Plus 1 month free in the Couples Counselling Collective (starting 2026)

If you’ve ever wanted to feel confident and equipped working with couples or know a colleague who would love this, this is for you.

🔗 https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/the-playbook

With love,
Lottie & Fi x
*xual *xualcounselling *xualtherapy *xualtherapist *xandrelationships *xandintimacy

17/12/2025

Hello lovely ones,

As we move into December, I want to offer something a little different - something for those of you who might not be feeling festive, whose relationships are strained, or whose emotional energy is running thin.

Christmas can amplify what already feels tender.

Making it through Christmas when your relationship feels fragile:
If things between you and your partner feel unsettled, remember that you can still lean in gently - not to fix everything, but to steady yourself.

Sometimes choosing your mood, even for a moment, shifts the emotional climate.

Think of it as borrowing calm from the future you’re building, rather than forcing harmony today.

Small acts help:
- Taking a breath before reacting
- Naming your needs softly
- Lowering expectations just a little
- Sharing space rather than solutions

You’re not failing if Christmas doesn’t feel magical. You’re human.

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

16/12/2025

You can now access Fixing the Unfixable: 10 Trainings for High-Stakes Couples Work (for Therapists) for just £67.

https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/product-page/fixing-the-unfixable-10-trainings-for-high-stakes-couples-work

This is your chance to access the full Video Vault of clinical trainings designed to help you feel more grounded with the toughest couples you’ll ever sit with.

Here’s what’s inside:

• What You Need to Know About Affairs
• Profiling a Couple in Gridlock
• Why Couples Keep Triggering Each Other
• Navigating Rupture and Repair
• Building Deep Trust
• When Love Languages & Gottman Don’t Work
• Why Most Open Relationship Agreements Fail
• One Chair, Two Hearts: Turning Conflict into Clarity
• Acknowledgement of Betrayal
• Structured Trust-Building Work

These aren’t theory-heavy lectures. They’re real, practical trainings you can start using straight away with the couples who walk into your room already hanging by a thread.

Price: £67 (Normally £360)
Access: All 10 trainings straight away
Offer ends: Sunday 21st December
After that, it won’t return at this price.

Love,
Lottie x

Fixing the Unfixable: 10 Trainings for High-Stakes Couples Work £360.00 Regular Price£67.00Sale PriceBuy NowDescriptionThis collection brings together 10 in-depth trainings designed to support therapists navigating the most complex, high-stakes moments in couples work, the sessions where theory al...

15/12/2025

In every relationship, s3x is more than a physical act. It is connection, affirmation, safety, validation, adventure, belonging, and a language all of its own.�

So when s3x quietly or suddenly disappears, the relationship starts speaking through tension, distance, and arguments instead.

November's Wednesday night live on the POC Podcast : Why She Stopped Wanting You (and how to fix it) opened this raw conversation.

This is the deeper layer beneath it what is actually happening when one partner removes s3x from the relationship, and what it takes to repair the rupture.

-

To read my full blog post follow the link below ..

https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/post/when-one-partner-takes-s*x-off-the-table-the-truth-behind-the-silence

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

12/12/2025

My newsletter will be reaching inboxes very, so if you aren't already on my mailing list, please follow the link below and join my juicy monthly newsletter today ..

Each month I cover:

- My latest news
- Invitation to my next FREE Live Workshop on S3x, Intimacy & Relationships
- Blog post on a hot topic
- Upcoming events / offers
- Relationship tips and opinions

You do not want to miss this .. just follow the NEWSLETTER SIGN UP link below.

https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/monthly-newsletter

Lottie x
*xual *xualcounselling *xualtherapy *xualtherapist *xandrelationships

10/12/2025

The Playbook: The Comprehensive Guide to Working with Couples is training for Therapists, where I share my Five Pillars of Assessment - the method I’ve developed and refined over two decades of working with couples.

It’s the foundation for everything that follows, helping you begin the work with safety, structure, and deep understanding.

I’ll take you step-by-step through how to assess, contract, hold, teach, and lead couples effectively

…and how to grow your practice with the mindset, money, and marketing tools that support you as a therapist.

💫 Early-bird enrolment is open now
💫 £150 off when you pay in full (£1,500 total)
💫 12-month payment plan option
💫 Instant access to the Couples Counselling Success Bundle
💫 Plus 1 month free in the Couples Counselling Collective (starting 2026)

If you’ve ever wanted to feel confident and equipped working with couples or know a colleague who would love this, this is for you.

https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/the-playbook

With love,
Lottie x
*xual *xualcounselling *xualtherapy *xualtherapist *xandrelationships *xandintimacy

08/12/2025

(The names have been changed)

Anna and Tom arrived in therapy feeling stuck in a familiar pattern:

Anna worried that Tom was emotionally distant. Tom felt that when he expressed his needs, they somehow “disappeared” into the relationship.

Together we explored the idea of differentiation, the capacity to stay connected while staying yourself.

At first, this was confusing for them: Anna associated individuality with abandonment; Tom associated closeness with giving up too much of himself.

Over weeks of work, they began to recognise three truths:

The “I” matters. Each partner needs space to feel, want, and think independently.
The “We” matters. The relationship also has its own identity, values, and needs.
Alignment happens when both are honoured. Not a compromise that shrinks each person, but a shared direction that includes them both.

By learning to express their “I” clearly and listen to the other’s “I” without fear, they created a stronger “We”, one that didn’t swallow them. Inter-dependant opposed to co-dependant.

Their relationship didn’t become perfect; it became real, resilient, and more honest.

-

Now taking bookings for COUPLES INTENSIVES starting in January 2026 - follow the website link below:

https://www.lottiepassellsyms.com/couples-intensives

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships

05/12/2025

While this season is wrapped in messages of joy and harmony, many couples quietly find it one of the most emotionally complex times of the year.

Expectations collide with reality, old family patterns reappear, and the pressure to “be festive” can make communication feel tighter rather than more open.

Instead of the usual seasonal advice, I want to offer something simpler: the invitation to talk to each other - not for problem-solving or negotiating logistics but to connect with curiosity.

-

IMAGO DIALOGUE Made Easy in 3 Steps
The structure protects you both from spiralling into old patterns. It helps you stay connected to the human curiosity behind the words.

- The Emotion is worry (anxiety)
- The Mantra is What I hear you say is
- The Empathy - I understand what do you need from me.

Here’s an example:

1. MIRRORING
Partner A: “I’m feeling worried as we head toward Christmas.” Repeat back completely (the sentence needs to be small)

Partner B: “What I hear you saying is that you’re feeling worried as we head toward Christmas… is there more?”

Partner A "No that’s it" - there could be more, so repeat the sentence again, then Partner B repeats back

2. VALIDATION:
“Given everything happening, it makes sense that you’d feel that way.” What do you need from me? (Shows intimacy)

3. EMPATHY:
“I imagine that feels heavy and lonely at times.”

If there is more carry it on, small sentence repeats back and only one topic at a time.

Lottie x
*xandintimacycoachforcouples *xandintimacy *xandrelationships