Oxford Neurodiversity Education

20/01/2026

The Power of Curiosity in the PDA Experience

If there is one thing that consistently transforms PDA parenting, it’s this:

Curiosity.
Not control.
Not correction.
Not consequences.
Just… curiosity.

Curiosity is the doorway to connection with a PDAer.
It’s the antidote to shame.
It’s the thing that softens the nervous system and keeps the relationship safe.

Because here’s the thing:

A PDA child’s behaviour can look confusing, even contradictory, from the outside.
But underneath, there is always a reason.
A feeling.
A fear.
A pressure point.
A moment where the nervous system said, “This is too much.”

Curiosity helps us find it.

Curiosity Sounds Like…

✨ “I wonder what felt hard about that.”
✨ “Something shifted for you, what did your body notice?”
✨ “I can see this doesn’t feel okay. Tell me what your brain is doing.”
✨ “I’m curious what you need right now.”
✨ “What would make this feel safer / easier / less overwhelming?”
✨ “What was the moment it tipped?”
✨ “What does your inside-panic feel like?”
✨ “What’s the story your brain is telling you right now?”

Curiosity invites—not demands.
It opens—not closes.
It regulates—not escalates.

And PDA kids feel it instantly.

Why Curiosity Works So Well for PDA’ers

Curiosity removes threat.
It says:
💛 “You’re not in trouble.”
💛 “I believe you.”
💛 “There’s a reason your body reacted the way it did.”
💛 “We can figure this out together.”
💛 “Your inner world matters to me.”

A curious adult is a safe adult.

And for a PDAer, safety is everything.

When they feel understood, not judged,
their nervous system can drop out of defence mode and comes back into connection.

That’s when problem-solving can become possible.
That’s when flexibility can return.
That’s when empathy can flow again.
That’s when you can get the child you know back.

Curiosity Creates a Bridge Between Worlds

A PDAer’s inner experience is unique.
It’s fast.
It’s intense.
It’s deeply tied to control and autonomy.

Curiosity is how we meet them where they are, instead of dragging them where we want them to be.

It says:
✨ “I’m beside you, not against you.”
✨ “Your experience matters as much as mine.”
✨ “We will figure this out together.”

That is the core of PDA parenting.
That is the core of a neuroaffirming lens.
That is the core of relationship-first support.

When in doubt with PDA… choose curiosity over compliance.

Every single time.

Curiosity lowers the demand.
Curiosity protects connection.
Curiosity builds trust.
Curiosity creates safety.
Curiosity opens the nervous system.

It doesn’t solve everything, but it can change so much.

17/11/2025

“If I could give my 13-year-old self one piece of advice: don’t shrink yourself for anyone or anything. Feel safe to take up space. Seek help and mentorship if needed. Embrace your unique gifts and skills. And above all, don’t feel shame for being different. Your differences will allow you to create positive change in ways you can’t yet imagine.”

Autistic Girls Network

https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/autism-and-loneliness-the-cost-of-being-the-quiet-good-student/?fbclid=IwZnRzaAOH45dleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5CGNhbGxzaXRlAjI1AAEe0Ewqok43mh5Nabe7TIZ7wILn1F-Z4ysgFjNhHS7K8ULZXBYmbo8SssG1Jts_aem_j6SRxwdHbkGaAAxVEB1T2Q

View Larger Image Autism and Loneliness: The Cost of Being the ‘Quiet, Good Student’ by Lara RodwellWhy Loneliness is So Common for Autistic GirlsAutistic people are four times more likely to experience loneliness than non-autistic people. Research shows this isn’t because of a lack of desire ...

06/11/2025

📢 We’re delighted to welcome SeeSaw Grief Support, specialist grief support for children and young people, to our next Q&A session:

Neurodiversity and Grief

🔍 We will be looking at:
What is 'healthy grief' and how can it vary across a spectrum?
How can I support neurodivergent young person with their grief?

🙋 This is a great opportunity to ask questions, gain clarity, and understand ways to support your young person.

🎟️ Book via: https://bookwhen.com/afsoqanda

📤 If you have any questions, please contact advice@afso.org.uk.

23/10/2025

What independent bookstores in Oxford might host a book reading by Joe Wells and Abigoliah Schamaun as part of promotion for their upcoming book Neurodivergent Moments?

I went to see Joe’s Daddy Autism show tonight. It was brilliant and Joe & Abigoliah read excerpts from the book before the show. Chatting to them after, they said they are looking for venues to put on a book reading event.

You might know the podcast

A podcast by Abigoliah Schamaun and Joe Wells

21/10/2025

When our PDA teens or young adults feel ashamed that they “can’t just live a simple life like everyone else,” they’re feeling the exhaustion of living with a nervous system that’s been working overtime for far too long.

It’s not laziness.
It’s not a lack of willpower.
It’s a body that no longer feels safe enough to rest, connect, or take on new demands.

When we talk about burnout, avoidance, or shutdowns, we’re talking about a nervous system that has left its window of tolerance, the zone where we can think clearly, feel feelings safely, and stay connected to ourselves and others.
For PDA individuals, that window can be narrow, and even everyday tasks can feel like threats to safety.

🗣 Gentle Script for Explaining the Nervous System and Window of Tolerance

“You know how sometimes your body feels like it’s in overdrive, like you just can’t do one more thing, or even the thought of doing it makes you tense up?
That’s your nervous system trying to protect you. It’s not your fault, it’s your body’s built-in safety alarm.

Everyone has what’s called a window of tolerance.
Inside that window, we can think, feel, talk, and cope.
But when life feels too much, your body leaves that window, it goes into ‘fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.’
That’s why even small things can feel impossible, because your body doesn’t feel safe enough yet.

Our job isn’t to push you back into doing more.
It’s to help your body feel safe again, little by little, so that window can gently widen.
You’re not broken. You’re not failing.
Your body is protecting you, and with time, rest, and the right supports, safety can grow again.”

🌼 Why This Matters

When we shift from “what’s wrong with you?” to “what happened to your nervous system?”
we move from shame to understanding,
from frustration to compassion,
and from fear to hope.

19/10/2025

If you haven’t checked out the PDA Society website recently there have been a lot of changes

In particularly the newly launched Training Hub offers both free and subscription based resources and supprt for both parents and professionals

The online Peer Support may be of interest to many parent followers here

The PDA training hub launches today, and as a thank you to our supporters we’re offering an additional 10% discount to the first 100 annual subscriptions with the code: PDAhub10

https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/

We know from community research that one of the biggest obstacles PDAers and their families face is a lack of awareness and understanding. This often means that simple, life-changing accommodations aren’t made, and that people are blamed where they should be supported.

With your subscription to the PDA training hub, you can find what you need to make a difference now, by:

- Joining a likeminded and supportive community with regular online events
- Building your own learning journey from more than 70 hours of content
- Accessing exclusive new content every month

And, you’ll be making sure that we can continue to be there for everyone who needs us by helping to fund our website, free resources and support service.

We can’t wait to see what you think!

03/10/2025

Very useful for those supporting/advocating for post 16 young people.

Send Family Magic

Struggling at Post16 is not OK...

Post16 onwards is a time when a young persons expected levels of independent learning and life skills ramp right up...

It leaves many young people feeling completely lost..

So I am sharing this tick list I just made for a parent following an EHCP call.

Here’s a ready-to-use checklist of targeted support a post-16 college can implement under the graduated response (before an EHCP).

You can use it in meetings or with providers to evidence what should already be in place:

---

✅ Post-16 Targeted Support Checklist (Graduated Response – Pre-EHCP)

1. Learning Environment & Teaching Adjustments

[ ] Differentiated resources (simplified texts, enlarged print, overlays)
[ ] Instructions broken into manageable steps, with check-ins
[ ] Visual aids, timetables or task lists provided
[ ] Quiet workspaces or access to a low-stimulation area
[ ] Reduced group sizes for key subjects where possible

---

2. In-Class & Learning Support

[ ] Learning mentor / progress coach check-ins
[ ] TA or support staff for part of timetable
[ ] Small group interventions (literacy, numeracy, study skills)
[ ] Peer support or buddy system

---

3. Assistive Technology & Access

[ ] Laptop, tablet, or assistive software (speech-to-text, reading pens, magnifiers)
[ ] Use of recording devices in lessons
[ ] Exam access arrangements (extra time, rest breaks, reader/scribe)
[ ] Access to online learning materials or adapted handouts

---

4. Social, Emotional & Wellbeing Support

[ ] Named trusted adult / key worker for regular check-ins
[ ] Access to wellbeing hub, counsellor or pastoral officer
[ ] Mentoring for anxiety, self-regulation, or social skills
[ ] Safe space at unstructured times (break/lunch)
[ ] Wellbeing or resilience groups (mindfulness, coping strategies)

---

5. Curriculum Flexibility

[ ] Modified or reduced study programme
[ ] Alternative accreditation (functional skills instead of GCSE resits)
[ ] Supported internships or work placements with extra guidance
[ ] Flexible deadlines or adjusted timetables (part-time/extended course length)

---

6. Practical / Everyday College Life Adjustments

* [ ] Support with organisation (planner, apps, checklists)
* [ ] Priority leaving early from lessons / support with transitions
* [ ] Help with college transport or travel training
* [ ] Adapted environment (e.g. seating arrangements, sensory considerations)

---

7. Specialist Input (via LA/College Support Services)

[ ] Advice from Educational Psychologist or SEND Outreach Service (via SEND ASAP panel)
[ ] Sensory Service involvement (hearing/vision support) if needed
[ ] Speech & Language Therapy guidance for communication needs
[ ] Staff training on specific needs (e.g. autism awareness, ADHD strategies)

02/10/2025

Sad to see this a day too late but maybe worth following Neurodiuniverse - We are who we are to get notifications for next month?

THIS WEEK!
✨ GAME NIGHT – Neurodivergent Adults Meet-Up ✨

Are you neurodivergent? Or maybe a parent of a neurodivergent child? Whether you’re diagnosed or self-identified, this is your space to CONNECT, UNWIND & PLAY 🎲💬

Join us for a relaxed evening of light, fun games (like Uno, Dabble, Snap, and more), chats, laughter, and real connection – with no pressure and no need to mask. 💛

📍 The Prince of Wales, Iffley (Church Way)
📅 1st Wednesday of every month
🕢 7:30 – 9:30 pm
💰 Free to attend (food & drinks available to buy at the bar)

💡 Expect:
✔️ A welcoming, supportive vibe
✔️ Games available (feel free to bring your favourites!)
✔️ It's time to simply be in a space that ‘gets it’

Come as you are – let’s play, connect, and build community together 💜🌍

21/09/2025

Neuronormativity: The Invisible Standard That Hurts Neurodivergent Pupils

We hear a lot about “inclusion” and “diversity” in schools, but one word still slips under the radar: neuronormativity.

Neuronormativity is the assumption that there is one “normal” way for brains to think, learn, communicate and behave — and everything else is a deviation from that norm. It’s the quiet background setting in most schools: how lessons are structured, how classrooms are set up, how behaviour policies are written, even how success is measured.

The problem is that neuronormativity is invisible to those it benefits — but painfully obvious to those it harms.

When schools operate on neuronormative assumptions, they unintentionally pathologise difference. A neurodivergent pupil who fidgets, avoids eye contact, struggles with transitions or hyperfocuses on a niche interest isn’t seen as having a different neurological profile; they’re seen as “misbehaving” or “not meeting expectations.”

This has real consequences:

• Masking and burnout. Pupils learn to camouflage their needs and suppress their authentic selves to “fit in,” which leads to exhaustion, anxiety and long-term mental health struggles.

• Misunderstood behaviours. Self-regulation strategies (like stimming, pacing or using headphones) are often discouraged or punished rather than supported.

• Reduced access to learning. When classrooms and assessments are built for one kind of learner, everyone else is forced to spend their energy coping, not learning.

Neuronormativity is damaging because it frames neurodivergence as a deficit to be fixed rather than a natural variation of human brains. It erases the strengths, creativity and innovation that neurodivergent pupils bring. It also places the burden of adaptation entirely on the child, rather than on the environment.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can build neuroaffirming schools that:

• Offer genuine flexibility in how pupils learn, show knowledge and regulate themselves.

• Teach all pupils about neurological diversity as a fact of life, not an exception.

• Question whether a “rule” or “policy” is genuinely necessary or just tradition.

• Recognise that sensory-friendly environments benefit all children, not just some.

• Train staff to understand the difference between behaviour and communication.

Shifting away from neuronormativity doesn’t mean lowering expectations. It means changing the lens — seeing barriers as problems with systems, not with children.

If schools celebrate diversity in ethnicity, culture and gender, they can also celebrate diversity of brains. When we normalise difference rather than normalising sameness, we create classrooms where all pupils can thrive without masking, burning out or feeling “less than.”

Neuronormativity may be invisible, but it is not inevitable. We can choose to see it, name it and dismantle it.

Because every child deserves to feel that who they are — not who they pretend to be — is enough.

Emma
The Autistic SENCo
♾️












Photo: Number 2 and 3 during a drone carving workshop in Dorset.

21/09/2025

Yup

09/09/2025

Andy Spectrum Gaming is an incredible human.

Please support him and this venture by sharing and/or donating if you can 😊

ANDY'S SPECTRUM GAMING FUNDRAISER - MAY 2026

In May 2026, I’ll be taking on the Jurassic Coast Ultra - 100km of tough, hilly coastline. I have just started training for it, and will be doing 6 days a week of tough training for the 8 month lead up to be able to complete it whilst also being Type 1 Diabetic, adding another layer of difficulty to the challenge. Despite never running more than a half marathon before (21km), I am determined to do it.

I’m raising money for Spectrum Gaming, the charity I started and now work at full-time. When it first began, I was working all day in my regular job, then running Spectrum Gaming throughout the night. Any money I had spare went straight into keeping it alive and it was a lot of hard work, but I kept going because I knew how much it mattered. Spectrum Gaming has now grown into an awesome community for autistic young people and I am proud to be part of such an incredible team. But fundraising is essential in order for us to keep going.

Part of why I care so deeply is because of my own story. Growing up was incredibly hard, and later I went through autistic burnout, which is something no one deserves to go through. I am determined to do as much as I can to make sure autistic young people avoid the struggles I experienced, plus bring some joy into their lives, and this is the reason Spectrum Gaming started.

This ultra marathon is special to me because it is not just about running, but about stretching what feels possible. It mirrors our ambition in Spectrum gaming to create a world where autistic young people can fulfil their true potential. Our work is tough, relentless at times, but is fuelled by belief in creating meaningful change.

If you would like to you can donate here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/andy-ultra

09/09/2025

Harris Foundation CEO Sir Dan Moynihan said calls for absence awareness courses to be introduced for parents to learn impacts on children had 'real merit'.