14/07/2025
IT MAYBE A LONG READ … So worth it …
I have Alison’s permission to share this, as she says it’s her life explained !! Alison comes to Brighter Horizons in Paignton on Tuesday evenings, she had shared her sad memories in our confidential non judgmental safe space, I’m pleased to say we can all see how Alison has grown in confidence & has a wealth of helpful support for others.
If you are holding onto sad times why not pop along for a cuppa & support, no charge just fab support ( please bring a mug for you cuppa) 💜
I Wasn’t Loved—I Was Useful
They liked me because I was easy.
Easy to talk to.
Easy to lean on.
Easy to forget.
I said yes when I wanted to say no.
Laughed when things weren’t funny.
Held space for people
who never once asked if I needed holding, too.
And now I’m angry.
Not just at them—
but at myself
for thinking that kindness would keep me safe.
1. I Became Who They Needed—Not Who I Was
In every room,
I scanned for cues.
What do they want?
Who do I need to be to stay loved?
I shape-shifted so well,
I forgot what my actual voice sounded like.
Because being authentic
felt like a risk I couldn’t afford.
2. I Confused Being Liked With Being Safe
If they like me, they won’t leave.
If I’m useful, I’ll matter.
If I’m low-maintenance, they’ll stay.
So I made myself easy to digest.
Softened every edge.
Apologized for my needs
before anyone had a chance to reject them.
But approval is a fragile currency.
And one day, I woke up bankrupt.
3. I Didn’t Burn Out—I Was Used Up
I wasn’t overreacting.
I was overextending.
And the weight of being “the good one”
crushed the parts of me
that longed to scream, cry, rage, and say NO.
I thought being nice would make people love me.
Instead, it made them forget I was human.
4. I’m Not Bitter—Just Finally Honest
I don’t want to be the safe choice anymore.
The reliable one.
The emotional sponge.
I want to be loved for my soul,
not my silence.
And if setting boundaries makes me hard to love—
then maybe they never loved me at all.
5. Final Word: I’m Done Performing
I’m not your emotional support human.
I’m not here to stay small so you feel big.
I’m not shrinking anymore
just to stay included.
If love requires disappearing,
I’d rather be alone.
Because I deserve to exist fully.
Loudly.
And unapologetically.
Credit: True Feeling
