02/04/2026
Ello Ello Ello👋
Giving it's the time for renewal & new growth I felt now is an appropriate time to let you know the latest on a very personal level & let go of some 💩
For just over a year now I know I've been very quiet here, doing the bare minimum, not interesting stuff ect. Last year was a tough one for myself & family, it had been building up from a couple of years beforehand. now I don't feel you need the details of exactly what was happening but it was involving my teenage son- I was at breaking point, barely holding it together mentally. No one close had the best version of me last year.
Clients may have noticed I wasn't myself, I know the ones that know me well did & asked if I was ok. I now admit from the bottom of my heart that I lied, I was not ok but as your therapist it's your time to relax & feel safe with me, not hear about my doom & gloom. Any ounce of energy I had last year went into just putting a smile on for you, it was so hard! If I could have financially taken time off I'd have loved too, even had days of giving it all up, & not just my business. I knew the signs, I'd been here before with depression & so I reached for medical help, along with private help.
When your at your lowest, it seems there's no end or way out & your told by many that it will get better, that sounds like bullocks at the time, our mind & body are too overridden with cortisol to think any differently.
Once accepting I needed further help, that was of course the beginning of healing, I know how to look after myself, i have many tools & knowledge under my belt to be the best version of me, I also kept up my usual regular different complimentary sessions but further action was needed.
Some months have now passed & I can finally & confidently say, I did it, we did it & got through it, things are so different now at home. Our nervous systems hold & store memory so I know I am still healing from being in fight & flight mode for months on end but everything is getting better, those people that said it would were right. I am blessed to have amazing humans around me ☺️
Along with this heightened time though I gained new health symptoms, along with many existing health symptoms. I've only ever extensively investigated some of them as individual issues in the past & many I've ignored or thought wasn't much to even tell anyone, some as old as from my early teens & some you may have had your appointment cancelled cause of it, the migraines, vertigo ect.
My vision changed last year, its what fueled this new investigation, my vision is partly why I've been quiet here, it's been so frustrating trying to read & my coordination moving my fingers to write on my phone & on paper is being affected, otc scans ect haven't picked anything up? I've been diagnosed with foot drop also so my balance & strength is affected. I'm not going list all my symptoms cause to be honest some of them are very embarrassing. This is partly why I started a new part-time job, to break up the physical demand of massage. But anyway after seeing the GP & any private professionals I could think of that can help, I am now awaiting a Neurologist appointment. No idea what will be found, there are a small handful of health conditions that I truly resonate with but who knows at this stage. It's not worrying me, strangely I'm finding it exciting finally getting somewhere with the GP 😅
So please be patient, my energy is not here on social media, it's going on myself so that when I am with you in person, I can give you my all. I am doing everything I possibly can to create a sacred place for you to come & switch off. It's the best job in the whole wide world being a therapist. I definitely don't want to give this up, that was cortisol talking!!
Tomorrow will always be a new day, keep going ❤️
Keeping it real ❤️
I bleddy love you ❤️
Michaela 💋
-This has taken me almost 2hrs to write 🤪
