Susan Sutherland Counselling

18/07/2025

Going through some of my old bits and pieces, I came across this. Some accurate/interesting observations 🤔

17/07/2025

“Since I was a child, I was taught not to cry, not to fail, not to rest… but it was through pain that I learned how to dance.” 🎤🕺

While other kids were playing outside,
I was in a recording studio.
My childhood was traded for the stage.
My father? Strict — painfully so.
We rehearsed until we dropped.
There was no room for mistakes.
If I didn’t shine, I didn’t matter.

From an early age, I learned that applause was my only shelter. 🎶💔

By 10, I was a global sensation —
and already feeling the weight of loneliness.
The pressure. The constant criticism —
my skin, my voice, my looks.
The world saw a superstar.
But inside, I was just a child trying to figure out how to be “normal.”
I used to lock myself in my room for hours,
terrified of disappointing everyone.

But the moment I stepped on stage — I transformed. ✨🌙

Yes, I had surgeries.
Yes, I reinvented myself.
Yes, I was my own harshest critic.
But I never stopped creating.
Music was my medicine.
With Thriller, I broke records.
With Heal the World, I tried to fix what I couldn’t fix within myself.

Behind the spotlight, there were tears.
The hardest part?
I lost my childhood before I even knew it was gone…
And no one ever noticed. 🎼🌍

“Not everyone who smiles is okay.
Sometimes, the brightest soul is the one who’s hurting the most —
the one trying hardest to bring joy to others.

So next time you see someone shine,
take a moment to wonder what they’ve endured to glow like that.” 💫💭

— Michael Jackson

10/06/2025

11/05/2025

Food for thought …..

16/04/2025

So much food for thought here 😏

28/02/2025

Yesterday I went to see Bridget Jones ‘Mad About the Boy’. I had been told it was a sad film as she had lost her husband but I had not expected it to be revolving around *grief* as much as it was. It was so well written and well communicated. Sensitive and reassuring yet funny too. there is no ‘normal’ way that we deal with grief. It is different for us all for so many reasons.
This article below explores six different myths and misconceptions about coping with bereavement so you can understand how to face your grief without unrealistic expectations about what it should feel like, or how you should deal with it.

SIX MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF

MYTH: It’s important to ‘be strong’ in the face of loss.
Feeling ‘not yourself’, sad, anxious or lonely is a normal reaction in grief. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak - it’s the language bodies use when words aren’t enough.

Everyone grieves differently, and you don’t need to ‘protect’ your family or friends by putting on a brave front. In fact, showing your true feelings can help you both, as they’ll be able to know how and when to support you, in a way that’s sensitive to your grief.

MYTH : If I don’t cry, it means I’m not sorry.
Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel pain just as deeply as others, but they may have other ways of showing it - particularly if crying is an unfamiliar way for them to display their emotions, or if they find it culturally inappropriate.

MYTH: It’s not fair to burden others with my sadness.
People trying to be there for someone who is grieving can often feel helpless after a bereavement. By turning to them for support, you can help your own grief, whilst also allowing them to feel they have a purpose. Trusting them in this way can therefore feel like a privilege, and it is often seen as a real honour rather than a burden.

MYTH : People will know how I feel and what I need from them to feel supported.
People often don’t know what to say or do. While some may message you, visit you, cook you a meal or offer to help you with your errands - it can also be helpful for you to tell them what you want and think.

Everyone is learning during bereavement, and each person copes with grief in different ways. If telling everyone seems too much, why not speak to one close friend and ask that person to spread the word about how you are feeling and what support would be helpful for you?

MYTH : Grieving should last about a year and then I can move on.
There’s no specific time frame for grieving, and how long it takes can differ from person to person. Even when you feel at peace with your bereavement, there will be moments on birthdays or anniversaries, or certain scents, noises, memories or places that will make you feel like no time has passed at all.

Grief is not simply one moment in time, it is part of our timeline instead. Don’t feel pressured by others to be over your grief, or be told that you have moved on too quickly. This is your grief. Go at your own pace.

MYTH : Moving on with my life means forgetting about the person who has died.
Moving on means you’ve accepted your bereavement, but that’s not the same as forgetting. You can move on with your life and keep the memory of someone as an important part of you. In fact, as you move through life, these memories can become more and more significant in defining who you are.

Grief counsellor, Lois Tonkin, calls this process ‘growing around grief’: imagine your life as a circle, containing everything you’re experiencing. Now, shade in the circle to represent your grief. This represents you and your grief. For some, the majority of the circle may be shaded to show how all-consuming their grief is.

What then happens in the following days, months and years is important. Rather than feeling like the shaded area is getting smaller, the outer circle - representing you and everything in your life - grows bigger.

The result looks somewhat like a fried egg, with the yolk representing your grief and the white growing around it as your life continues to grow around it. Some people describe this as adjusting to life and living around your grief, not losing your grief.

You’ll have new experiences, meet new people and begin to find new moments of enjoyment. Slowly, these moments may become more frequent, and your outer circle might grow a little bigger.

This doesn’t mean your grief will disappear. During difficult times, you might even find that it grows. But - even if you don’t see how it could, or perhaps don’t want it to - grief will no longer dominate your circle as you, and your life, grow around it.

10/02/2025

Many of us will relate to this ….

04/02/2025

May be easier said than done but worth thinking about