Nurture Parenting

19/12/2025

💜🥹 I asked parents across Europe what they’ve learned raising kids and their answers made me rethink some things 👀

Swipe to read what they said — do you agree? 💛

17/12/2025

mirimika_art 💜🥹
1. Rational answers turn a parent into a source of truth instead of a fellow explorer. When a child asks “where does thunder come from,” don’t say “because of air pressure.” Say, “Because the sky is clapping its hands when it’s happy.” That’s not foolishness, it’s the emotional language that builds imagination. A child who gets all the explanations doesn’t learn to think, only to agree.

2. A child asked asked why leaves fall, and parents told him, ‘Because the trees get tired of holding them.’ For a week he gathered leaves and whispered, ‘Rest now.’” Physiology gives knowledge, metaphor gives empathy. Adults confuse developing intelligence with stripping away wonder. Every precise answer replaces life with theory. A child’s brain doesn’t crave facts; it craves play between possibilities, which activates creativity and trust in the world.

3. Try to go one week without answering a single “why” literally. A family from Spain tried that and on the third day, their child said, “I realized that things are alive.” He stopped breaking his toys. He didn’t get “dumber,” he began to see connection. Magic isn’t the opposite of logic; it’s a form of attention. Where adults see physics, a child sees meaning. If you don’t nurture that view, one day it will fade like an old photograph.

4. Children who get every explanation tend to be more anxious (according to a preschool teacher). They fear being wrong. But the ones who are allowed to live with mystery are calmer. The child’s brain perceives the unknown not as danger but as play, if the adult nearby isn’t afraid to “not know.” The phrase “let’s imagine together” heals more deeply than dozens of smart lectures. What a child needs isn’t an answer but the feeling that their question matters.

5. “I realized I’m not raising a child, I’m raising the memory of my own wonder.” When a fathert stopped explaining everything rationally and started asking “what do you think?” alongside his son, they both began to see the world differently. A child’s magic isn’t about fairies or fantasy; it’s about the return of awe. You don’t have to know why the sky is blue. You just need to remember how to be amazed by it.

15/12/2025

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Today’s brain boost of the day is my top parenting tip: SPECIAL TIME.

Share your top tip with me in the comments.

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11/12/2025

1. A child’s joy grows from micro-rhythms, not rare celebrations. A calm morning gives more than a weekend at a giant mall. Try the 7-7-7 rule: seven minutes of cuddling under a blanket, seven minutes of breakfast together at one table, seven minutes of quiet talk without screens. Simple dialogue: “What do you want for breakfast - toast with cheese or porridge? You choose.” Choice creates calm and control. Repetition lowers inner tension: warm bath, yellow lamp, three pages read aloud, the same soft melody every night.

2. Praise often kills joy; acknowledgment builds it. Scene: a child drops a glass, adult snaps, “Be careful!” and the child’s world shrinks - the message is love depends on success. Replace the script with, “Let’s clean it up together, you can do it,” and hand over a towel, not a lecture. Mechanism: the child learns “I matter even when I fail.” Mistake becomes task, not identity.

3. Controlled mess creates life better than sterile order. Make a “chaos box”: an old sheet, paintbrushes, tape, clay. Set a 5-minute cleanup timer. Saturdays, build a “base”: two chairs, a blanket, flashlight, snacks, secret password at the entrance. Physical play releases stress; predictable limits build safety. When energy spikes, say, “You want to jump? Let’s go to the rug - that’s the jumping zone.”

4. A calendar of anticipation works better than lectures. Hang a weekly grid on the fridge: magnets with icons - book, park, board game, baking, call grandma - and every evening the child moves the “done” magnet. Time becomes visible, the brain relaxes. Example: on wednesday spend 20 minutes fixing little things together, small screwdriver, container for screws, feeling of “I’m useful” gets glued in.

5. Respect isn’t softness - it’s clarity plus choice. Use “yes, and” instead of “no, because”: “Yes, you want cartoons, and first we put toys in the box. You pick which five go first.” In the car, use “emotion cards”: child shows “I’m angry” or “I’m bored,” adult names it, “I see, waiting’s hard. Want to count red cars or give trees funny names?” When feelings are named, impulses calm down, and the child gets a lever of ✨mirimika_art 💜🥹

11/12/2025

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1️⃣ Yelling when angry.
Before the age of six, a child’s brain can’t yet regulate impulses.
That shout isn’t disrespect — it’s release. The body choosing noise over explosion.

2️⃣ Crying “for no reason.”
Tears are how the nervous system vents overload.
When emotions don’t fit inside, the eyes take over.

3️⃣ Throwing things when frustrated.
It’s not rebellion. It’s frustration — the gap between what they imagined and what they can manage.
They’re still learning to hold disappointment without breaking.

4️⃣ Can’t sit still.
Their vestibular system is still maturing.
Movement is their version of focus — not distraction.

5️⃣ Interrupting adults.
They’re not being rude.
Short-term memory in young children is fragile; if they don’t say it now, the thought disappears forever.

6️⃣ Getting angry at parents.
Not ingratitude — individuation.
It’s the emotional step where love grows teeth and the “self” starts to take shape.

7️⃣ Being slow to get ready.
It’s not laziness — it’s brain architecture.
Cognitive switching, the ability to move from one task to another, develops much later than patience does.

8️⃣ Not sharing toys.
Empathy isn’t built yet.
Before age five, a child still lives inside “me.” Sharing isn’t morality — it’s maturity.

9️⃣ Fearing new things.
That’s not weakness; that’s the limbic system checking for safety.
Courage doesn’t come from pressure. It comes from trust.

🔟 Zoning out with screens or cartoons.
It’s not addiction.
It’s sensory recalibration — their brain looking for quiet in a world that’s too loud.

In neuroeducation, these are called normative stages of nervous-system development.
A child isn’t manipulating you — they’re growing.
And how you respond today will decide whether they become confident or constantly apologetic tomorrow.

👉 Don’t lose my account: — new truths every day.

People don’t just read my posts — they stop confusing growth with misbehaviour and start raising kids who aren’t afraid to feel.

09/12/2025

mirimika_art 💜🥹
1. Questions like “why did you do that?” activates the amygdala, the brain’s defense center. It is heard as a threat, not curiosity. That is why a child either shuts down or lies. But asking “what were you feeling when that happened?” activates the prefrontal cortex, where awareness and empathy are formed. The same situation, but two completely different brain responses.

2. Psychologists explained that “why” implies rational analysis, which in children under 10 is not yet fully developed. They cannot explain their motives because they are not conscious of them. A softer question like “what was happening inside you then?” helps translate emotion into words, the key emotional regulation skill that later defines maturity.

3. In Helsinki’s Elementary School, 14 teachers replaced “why” with “what helped you choose that?” and within three months conflicts dropped by 46%. Children began to discuss their decisions instead of defending them. When a child feels they’re not being accused, they start searching for their own answer. That’s when real learning happens, not interrogation.

4. The way a question is framed affects mirror neuron activity. A non-accusatory tone triggers engagement, not resistance. When an adult says “let’s figure this out together,” the child’s brain activates the regions responsible for cooperation. That is how trust is built, the foundation of both discipline and motivation.

5. This is why Finnish educators teach connection before control. Changing one question transforms a conversation from interrogation to dialogue. And it is in that moment, when the adult stops looking for blame, that the child first feels true responsibility. Not from fear, but from understanding, and that is where real maturity begins.

For more follow my blog - link in bio✨

06/12/2025

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How bedtime stories synchronise your child’s brain with yours.⁠
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When parents read to young children their neural patterns begins to align, an experience no screen can match.⁠
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Professor Sam Wass, a neuroscientist and director of the Institute for the Science of Early Years and Youth at the University of East London, explains what this means. “Their brains are literally falling into sync,” he says.⁠

Reading for pleasure is more than just a life skill, it is the essence of life. There is a reading crisis, however, and it is applicable to every generation. 

That is why The Sunday Times has launched our campaign to Get Britain Reading again. Donate to Bookbanks to put books in the hands of those most in need. Volunteer to read in schools with Coram Beanstalk. Above all, take our pledge to read for pleasure for at least ten minutes a day for six weeks.
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🔗 Tap the link in our bio to read the full story

05/12/2025

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What’s your favorite brain building activity with your baby! ❤️🧠❤️

04/12/2025

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1. She told me: “Our brightest students walk home slowly — without parents, without cars, without stimulation.” Not as a privilege, but as a cognitive reset. The walk is silent, cold, boring — and that boredom is the fertilizer. A Finnish neurologist confirmed it: the brain consolidates learning only when a child has 20–30 minutes of low-stimulus movement after school. No talking, no screens, just thinking.

2. She said the difference is visible by age nine. Kids who walk home alone arrive calmer, process the school day independently, and develop internal decision-making. American kids are rushed into cars, flooded with questions, snacks, noise, and schedules. “Their brain never gets the reflection window,” she said. “Everything stays unprocessed — so nothing becomes theirs.”

3. She gave an example: two boys in her class scored similarly all year. One walked home alone. The other was picked up by an anxious parent who narrated every minute. By spring, the first boy began solving problems without help; the second needed reassurance for everything. The teacher said: “The walk home taught him autonomy. The car ride taught him supervision.”

4. The second part of the habit is even more “forbidden” in the U.S.: Finnish children are allowed to wander a bit — stop by a store, throw snow, sit on a bench. This micro-freedom forces the brain to make tiny navigational decisions. Those decisions build the same neural circuits that later handle planning, discipline, and self-control.

5. Her final line was brutal: “Smart children aren’t born — they’re given space to hear their own thoughts.” The walk home is not transportation. It’s the moment a child becomes someone who can think without being told what to think.

‼️ Write “family” in the comments and I’ll show you the exact after-school micro-routine that builds real autonomy fast, boosts calm focus in days, and fits into any schedule without stress, lectures, or complicated parenting rules.

03/12/2025

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1. He started his lecture with silence. “That’s what your child’s brain never gets,” he said. “Silence.” Every toy now sings, flashes, speaks, rewards. The child doesn’t learn to play — they learn to wait for stimulation.

2. Functional-MRI studies show children who use light-and-sound toys before age five have 40 % lower activation in the prefrontal cortex during calm tasks. Their nervous systems confuse quiet with danger.

3. A mother in the audience raised her hand: “But she loves them.” The scientist smiled. “Of course. So do gamblers. The same dopamine loop — fast reward, no recovery.” The room went dead still.

4. He said, “When everything talks back, the child stops talking to themselves.” Inner speech — the voice that guides decision-making — grows only in pauses. Without boredom, there’s no imagination, only reaction.

5. He closed with one line that everyone wrote down: “The best toy is the one that waits.” Blocks, paper, dirt, spoons — objects that don’t perform. Because the brain’s favorite sound isn’t music or applause. It’s its own thoughts returning home.

✨ Follow me for more brain-development science and conscious-parenting rewires.

02/12/2025

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1. Finnish families have a quiet ritual called the closing question. Before bed, every child answers one thing: “What was the last good moment today?” No screens, no advice, no correction — just the sentence, said out loud.

2. Psychologists tracking these families for a decade found something remarkable: by adolescence, their baseline anxiety was 60–80% lower than average. The secret wasn’t optimism — it was closure.

3. When the brain names a positive event before sleep, it ends the day’s stress loop. Cortisol levels drop, the hippocampus encodes the memory as safe, and the nervous system learns: the world can finish well. Without that ritual, thoughts keep running — unfinished, unprocessed, unresolved.

4. Modern kids fall asleep under blue light, endless comparisons, and dopamine noise. Their brains never get the signal that danger is over. So they wake already tired — bodies in recovery from days that never emotionally ended.

One Finnish mother said, “We don’t put our children to sleep. We teach their minds to rest.” Try it tonight — no affirmations, no talk about tomorrow. Just ask: “What was good today?” It’s not gratitude. It’s closure — the oldest form of safety a child can learn. Subscribe to learn more.

01/12/2025