
25/08/2025
🌿 At New Leaf, we believe in celebrating neurodivergent voices and lived experience. Michaela’s words beautifully capture why Autistic-led theory and understanding matter, for our children, our families, and our future. 💚
Thank you Michaela for sharing your journey, and to Miah for the wonderful artwork that speaks louder than words. 🎨❤️
Being a SEND mum has opened my eyes to just how much the world still gets wrong about autism.
So many of the old, outdated ideas still sit in the background of schools, services, and everyday conversations. Those theories – the ones that blamed parents or treated autism as something broken that needed fixing – are still echoing today, and they do real harm to our children.
What makes the difference is when we turn to Autistic-led theory.
Things like monotropism, the double empathy problem, masking, sensory differences, burnout,these aren’t abstract ideas, they are lived experiences.
They explain my children better than any textbook or professional ever has. They make sense of the highs and the lows, of the way my girls can shine in one area and completely shut down in another.
Intersectionality matters too. My children aren’t just “Autistic”, they’re whole people with layers of identity, needs, and strengths. Their experiences are shaped by so many different parts of who they are, and when professionals overlook that, they miss the real picture.
I see the spiky profiles and fluctuating energy every single day.
One moment they can amaze me with their maths or art skills, and the next they’re wiped out by the noise of the world.
Things like interoception and alexithymia mean that sometimes even understanding their own feelings or needs can be exhausting. These things are not flaws – they’re part of who they are – but without understanding, they get labelled unfairly.
And then there are the co-occurring conditions: ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety. Our kids don’t fit into neat little boxes, no matter how much the system wants them to. They are complex, diverse, and multidimensional – and that should be celebrated, not seen as a problem to manage.
The hardest part, though, is the power imbalance.
Time and time again, I’ve seen the blame fall on parents while the real barriers – inaccessible environments, lack of training, inflexible systems- are ignored.
It is draining, and it chips away at families. Our children deserve better than that.
That’s why Autistic voices have to be at the centre. “Nothing about us without us” isn’t just a nice phrase - it’s a truth we need to live by.
Autistic people know what it means to live this life. Their leadership and insight are what will actually change things, for my children and for generations to come.
As a mum, I hold onto that. I know my children deserve a world built with their voices in mind, not a world that tries to squeeze them into shapes that don’t fit. And I’ll keep speaking about it, because their futures – and their joy – depend on it.
With Love Michaela ❤️
Art work done by Miah 👇🏼❤️