Therapy with Teri

22/03/2026

So many people misunderstand what trauma is, and this can lead to misinformation and low tolerance for those who are healing.

Trauma rewires the brain for protection instead of connection , it hijacked your system and created false narratives to try to protect you from a danger that may no longer exist!!

Trauma can stick you in a loop of uncertainty , always ready to take flight or fight. This is exhausting.

Therapy can help you to understand these coping mechanisms and unpick what helps and what doesn't so you can begin to build new strategies into your life that help you to navigate the world in a manageable way.

Will it stop those triggers completely ? Absolutely not, but what it will do is give you the ability to choose how you respond , how you react, and how you navigate when things dont go to plan.

12/03/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1D4554YW1Y/

The “let them” theory has taken off because, in many situations, it’s genuinely healthy. Not every behavior needs to be chased, corrected, or analyzed. Sometimes the most regulated response is to step back and let people reveal who they are.

But trauma psychology adds an important nuance.

Many people who grew up in unstable or emotionally neglectful environments were already trained to “let things go” long before it was healthy. They learned to tolerate disrespect, minimize harm, stay quiet during conflict, and adapt themselves to keep relationships intact. What looks like patience or detachment on the surface is often a survival strategy built in childhood.

From a clinical perspective, healing isn’t just learning to let people be. It’s also learning when not to abandon yourself. And yes, people will often point to the second part of the theory: “let me.” Meaning: let me decide where to place you in my life based on what you’ve shown me.

That idea has value. But like most things on social media, it can become overly simplified. Because in real relationships, it’s rarely that clean.

In therapy, I don’t usually see people struggling because they confronted too much. I see people who stayed quiet for years. People who tolerated patterns that slowly eroded their sense of self. People who kept adjusting themselves to preserve a relationship that was never adjusting for them.

Sometimes there are conversations that need to happen. Sometimes there are patterns that require confrontation, not passive repositioning. Sometimes silence doesn’t create clarity. It creates distance and misunderstanding.

Sometimes the healthiest response really is to let them. Sometimes it’s to let yourself step back.

But sometimes the healthiest response is simply to say the thing that needs to be said.

And learning the difference is part of healing. ❤️‍🩹

Thank you to who shared the original “let them” concept in a thoughtful and intentional way long before it became a viral soundbite.

Has the “let them” theory worked or fallen short for you?

12/03/2026

11/03/2026

For many of my clients im the first person to believe what they are saying about what they have endured, not just at the hands of their abuser but also time and time again at the hands of family, friends and professionals who dont believe them or minimise their experience.

08/03/2026

Within therapy, there is always a power imbalance, even when we try very hard to keep things as equal as possible , especially at the beginning of our relationship together.

Some people can struggle to vocalise what they need or, due to past experiences, be terrified of speaking up

I always want my clients to know , im not infallible, im not always right, and sometimes I miss the mark or get things wrong.

In these instances, I will always encourage my clients to say something , even something small, to let me know im off target for how they are feeling.

I also encourage clients to let me know what works and what doesn't work for them by regularly reviewing our work together.

I want you to get the very best of the 60 minutes we spend together, and I can only do that if you can dare to be brave enough to be honest with me, even when it feels scary.

I am here to support you, without judgement , to help you make sense of events, thoughts , and feelings and to start to see patterns that may not be serving you as well in the here and now as they once did.
# 'sok

07/03/2026

When you share how something has made you feel, pay attention to how the other person responds.

06/03/2026

Trauma survivors very often become wounded healers , knowing the pain and suffering they endured and not wanting anyone else to go through that.

Hurt people do hurt people, but real strength comes from being hurt and being able to change the narrative for yourself and those around you.

Healing those old wounds so you dont bleed all over the people you love takes strength, sacrifice, determination and compassion.

Trauma survivors are the strongest people I know because they have endured unimaginable pain and can still show compassion for others.

05/03/2026

Neither can adults!!

Fear restricts freedom of though, leaving those subjected to it questioning themselves and their abilities.

04/03/2026

So, what exactly makes a person toxic?
In order to detoxify our lives, we first need to be able to understand and spot a person with toxic qualities.
They look like everyone else, talk like everyone else, and can even be hiding in your friendship group, your family, or your romantic relationship.
People with toxic qualities are master manipulators, skilled liars, and great actors. They can be hiding everywhere.
One way to identify a person like this is that uuuuuuuuuuugh feeling after hanging out: Every time you talk to them, you feel exhausted, emotionally drained, and negative.
There’s always something with this person. And you won’t always be able to pinpoint it.
I describe a person with toxic qualities as anyone who is abusive, unsupportive, or unhealthy emotionally — someone who basically brings you down more than up.
You may begin to feel dependent on him or her for their opinion, doubting your own.
They can be draining and leave you emotionally wiped out.
They want you to feel sorry for them and responsible for all their problems— and then fix these problems too.
How to recognize toxic qualities
The best gauge is to see how you feel after interacting with someone — our physical and emotional reactions to people are our best indicators.
You should consider whether you’re more tense, anxious, or angry after seeing that person, texting with them, or talking to them on the phone.
Other signs to keep an eye out for include:
Being judgmental: The person may constantly pass judgment on you and others.
Obsessive neediness: They place huge strains on your time and energy.
Denialist: They refuse to take responsibility or apologize for their actions.
This could be someone who uses drugs or drinks excessively, lies or asks you to lie for them, is controlling, or regularly belittles what you do.
The lives of people with toxic qualities often lack financial, professional, physical, personal, or interpersonal stability.
Essentially, they may find it very hard to exact control over their own lives, minds, and relationships, so they try to exert power over others in harmful ways.
Even parents can exert toxic effects on their kids, and it’s still fine to cut them out if their presence is harmful.

01/03/2026

Love doesn't involve hiding or abandoning parts of ourselves.

27/02/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/1GZwzBdqUH/

"Healing is possible. It begins the moment you decide your pain matters enough to be faced with compassion. It grows in spaces where you are believed, supported, and allowed to take your time.

"The journey might feel lonely, but you are not alone-and you are not broken. Each boundary you set, each emotion you let yourself feel, each moment you choose gentleness over shame is part of the healing. It's hard. It's slow. But it's real. And you're allowed to take it one breath, one step, one day at a time." – Moses Kuria

26/02/2026

We The Urban