Therapy with Teri

26/01/2026

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because he has her so brainwashed that it’s all her fault and that she’s no good to anyone and no one will want her or love her and there’s no way she can possibly make it on her own.

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because she thinks that if she just tries harder and if she’s a better wife and a better mom that maybe he will be happy with her and he wouldn’t get so angry with her. And maybe he will be the same sweet, charming man that he was when they first met.

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because he has her convinced that if she tries he will hurt or kill her or her family. Because he has threatened to tell the judge that she is a bad mom and will take away her kids and she will never see them again. Because he has taken away her money and convinced her that she has no good job qualities to make it on her own financially and she will always need him.

More people are concerned with why women stay in abusive relationships than why men are abusing women. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship people have no idea how hard it is to escape. Abusers are able to fool those outside the home because they usually only abuse those inside the home.

They need your support.
They need your love.
They do not need your judgement.

Many victims of domestic violence will try to leave many times before they succeed , some never do and some die trying!

Let’s raise awareness 💜

24/01/2026

Therapy is like this picture , at first glance it looks like there are lots of bent lines , on closer inspection when you view each line you can see each on is straight.

Trauma is like the lines, it can distort your perception and make you think things that are not true.

Therapy can help take each event ( line) at a time and help you focus on the one thing, this focus can help you to see your truth

15/01/2026

08/01/2026

Mindfulness can help ground us , deep breathing or using breathing techniques such as square breathing or 4-7-8 breathing can help activate our parasympathetic nervous system and enable us to gain a sense of calm.

01/01/2026

As we begin another new year raise a toast to the previous versions of you.

The ones who had to make tough choices, the ones who had to do hard things to survive , the ones who you feel maybel messed up, each and every one of them has helped keep you safe and here now to begin another year.

So raise a toast to them, celebrate them.

We dont need to feel shame for the versions of us we needed to create to endure horrendous things, acknowledging them and allowing gratitude instead of shame around these versions can enable us to fully embrace our whole self.

14/12/2025

Grief isnt linear - it comes and goes like waves and the 'ball in a box' analogy is a lovely way to try and describe / understand how grief works.

New grief, raw , fresh and overwhelming hits hard, fast and often , flooring us time and time again with no signs of letting up, within this time we can feel unable to manage even basic tasks , sleep will usually be disrupted and the loss is all we can see and feel.

As time passes we slowly begin to have moments of ok inbetween oceans of sadness , the more time elapses the better able we can feel to manage. Slowly regaining some of ourselves beyond the loss and pain.

Over time the pain becomes less frequent but sometimes something can trigger those overwhelming emotions and transport us back to that moment in time when it all felt so big, new and overwhelming.

The pain expereinced doesn't necessarily deminish and its this that some struggle with.

'Its been six months , I shouldn't feel like this !'
'People tell me I should have moved on by now!'

I dont feel we ever move on in the way society feels we should , this ' moving on' mindset insinuates there is something wrong if we dont stop thinking about our loved ones , when the reality is more around us accepting they are no longer a visible part of our lives.
The grief remains and exists within us , we just get better at accepting what is now our new reality. That however doesnt stop those memories and heartbreak from hitting you like a tsunami from time to time , especially when things that were important to you both crop up.

1st Christmas, birthday, vacation, birth of a new baby,graduation, wedding etc can all send us back into our grief and loss at what may have been.

To miss the person or pet and all they encompassed for you is normal, natural and part of the process, it is part of what it is to be human.

So the next time you feel the pang of grief sting your eyes and make your heart skip a beat be compassionate towards yourself , because from time to time the ball will still hit the button of grief and it may bring us to our knees all over again. It doesnt mean we are wrong or broken , just we are human ❤️

13/12/2025

The inability to receive support from others
is a trauma response.

Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.

From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you.

From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart.

From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave.

From all the situations when someone told you “we’re in this together” or “I got you” then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when s**t got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too.

From all the lies and all the betrayals.

You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point.

Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE.

You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right?

You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you.

Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.

So, you don’t trust anyone.

And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people.

To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable.

“Never again,” you vow.

But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall.

Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either.

Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming.

It’s a trauma response.

The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed.

You are worthy of having support.
You are worthy of having true partnership.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of having your heart held.
You are worthy to be adored.
You are worthy to be cherished.
You are worthy to have someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy.

You don’t have to earn it.
You don’t have to prove it.
You don’t have to bargain for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.

You are worthy
Simply because you exist.
Author unknown

13/12/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/18644WUuRj/

Everyone’s experience will be different, and, what I've often come to witness and experience is that as we do our own work, the lenses in which we view the people around us change. Especially the lens we view our parents through.

Sometimes we begin to see just how much pain our parents have been carrying their whole life. Sometimes we begin to recognize that the hurt we carried from them was all they knew. This doesn't excuse it, and it doesn't mean we will forgive it, rather, sometimes it highlights something for us. Sometimes it redirects our desire to change or fix our parents or repair the past with them to now focusing on breaking the cycle ourselves.

Sometimes it shifts how we see our experience and allows for some space to tend to our own pain without needing something to be resolved with our caregivers first. Sometimes it shows us what we need to see in order to decide that the pattern ends with us, that we now longer need to stay in the cycle that our parents might always stay in. Sometimes it shows us what we so deeply want to change for our own future generations.

It's quite the phenomenon to begin seeing your parents as something more than just "mom/dad". And like I said, this doesn't mean any of the pain they might have brought onto us becomes valid or is something we even forgive - maybe it is for some, and maybe it isn't for others. Rather, it sometimes can give us a sense of freedom to choose if we want to continue the cycle that our parents did.

When we begin to heal, we see our parents wounding, and sometimes with that comes so many other pieces that are important for our journey of breaking the cycle. -

11/12/2025

Christmas has arrived at Plympton Therapy Rooms. 😁🎅🦌

Lovely surprise this morning when getting into the office , thanks Laura for the christmassy treats ❤️