06/12/2025
✨ Understanding Codependency Starts With Understanding Childhood Roles ✨
Codependency doesn’t appear out of nowhere it’s shaped in childhood, often long before we have words for what we’re experiencing.
When a parent struggles with boundaries, low self-worth, or relies on their child to meet their emotional needs, the child learns very quickly that their own feelings aren’t safe or important.
So they adapt.
They become:
• The helper
• The fixer
• The caretaker
• The child who never “needs” anything
• The one who keeps the peace, holds the family together, or grows up far too soon
Over time, this creates a split between the Real Self (their true needs, wants, emotions) and a Codependent Self (the version of them who must earn love, safety or approval).
🌱 When there’s no space for a child’s individuality, they learn to suppress their own thoughts and feelings to stay connected.
🌱 When a parent is emotionally unavailable, struggling, or inconsistent, the child learns to take responsibility for the parent’s wellbeing.
🌱 When love feels conditional, the child learns to become whatever keeps them accepted.
And this pattern often follows us into adulthood — into our relationships, friendships, work, and even our sense of identity.
But here’s the hopeful part:
💛 Healing codependency is not about blaming parents.
💛 It’s about recognising the roles we stepped into for survival…
💛 And slowly giving ourselves permission to reconnect with who we were before we had to earn love.
Your needs matter.
Your inner world matters.
Your authentic self is still there waiting to be seen, heard, and valued.
If this resonates, you’re not alone. Codependency is a response to unmet emotional needs, not a personal flaw. Healing begins with awareness, compassion, and learning to trust yourself again.
🌿 Innerworth Counselling helping you come home to yourself.
