14/04/2026
You will lose people when you stop abandoning yourself. Hereās how you know which ones matter.
You know what keeps you stuck more than fear, more than money, more than circumstances.
The addiction to being seen as good.
Good daughter. Good son. Good mother. Good father. Good partner. Good friend. Good employee.
You have spent your entire life curating this. Saying yes when you mean no. Swallowing your real feelings because good people donāt make others uncomfortable. Shrinking your opinions. Softening your edges. Holding it all together because thatās what you do.
And the wild thing is⦠you donāt even notice youāre doing it anymore. Itās so deeply wired into you that it just feels like who you are.
But itās not who you are. Itās who you learned to be so that you would be loved.
And then comes the uncomfortable partā¦
When you start to stop abandoning yourself⦠when you start choosing your own truth over everyone elseās comfort⦠people will not like it. Some of them will tell you youāve changed. Some will say youāve become selfish. Some will simply go quiet and that quiet will feel deafening.
Youāll notice something strange. To some people you become the most wonderful person on planet earth. Theyāll tell you how free you seem, how inspiring, how alive. And to others⦠you become the biggest ar****le theyāve ever met. Same you. Same choices. Completely different reactions.
And that tells you everything you need to know. Because the people who are threatened by your truth are the ones who benefited from your silence.
And there will be a moment, probably many moments, where you think about going back. Back to the performing and the people pleasing and the making it all okay for everyone else. Because at least that version of you was loved. At least they belonged.
Stay.
Stay with the discomfort. Stay with the person who is emerging underneath all that performance.
They are not good.
They are true.
And that is so much better.