Mid - Ulster Mountaineers

16/11/2025

Mid Ulster Mountaineers x Portadown Running Club – Fortnightly Hike in the Manor 🏔️

Today’s route took us over a cracking loop:
Moolieve
Wee Binnian
Big Binnian
Silent Valley.

A perfect mix of climbs, craic, and chaos — in true MUM fashion. With the suggestion of a cloud inversion, a 7 mile hike and home for lunch the hallions flocked.
There was no cloud inversion, it was over 7 mile, but lunch was a go.

I took half the group up the Wee Binnian gully, which turned into a semi-dangerous scramble involving rocks, ledges, and enough “heave-ho’ing” to qualify us as a full HR investigation. Somehow everyone made it up with limbs (and dignity) mostly intact.

Dawson had a late one last night and spent the morning getting lost on the way to a place he literally works beside. His autopilot drove him straight to Tollymore Forest Park instead of the meeting point — only 20 minutes in the opposite direction. Later, .Carley the dog also caused absolute scenes when she robbed a full turkey sandwich clean off Dawson’s knee. The man had been talking about those sandwiches since we left the car park — sat one on his knee for two seconds to grab something from his bag and boom, gone. Carley didn’t even look guilty.
Dawson is currently considering pressing charges and has requested a formal statement from any witnesses.

Richard T, still unable to tell the difference between Tinder, Bumble, and whatever else he’s downloaded, was in full farting form. To be fair, he backed away from the group each time… only to announce what he’d done. A gentleman.

Marie celebrated her 60th birthday with this epic hike. A fit 60 at that — she cruised it. Not a bother to her.

Stephen clearly knew I’d be writing this and kept his nose clean all day, giving me absolutely zero content… but plenty of marathon ideas for 2026.

Deathroll started rubbing his thighs with pure joy when he saw a pile of newcomers pulling into the car park. I counted 15 at the top of Binnian — nearly sure more started. If the reader spots any freshly dug soil, its best to just walk on by ☠️

Carolyn returned from her homeland of Bonnie Scotland and brought the full accent with her. Nobody had a notion what she was saying, but she seemed chirpy enough.

Nicola went on her hoop early doors and ended up with a massive skidmark up the back of her coat. Her wee fingers froze solid, leaving her unable to tie her laces — enter Jason, who stepped in like a trail-side nanny.

Rachel also arrived wearing a homemade mohawk hat, hand-crafted to perfectly match her usual ultra-race war-hair.

Along with Dawson, Ania also had a “late night” — her eyes were more starry than the stars over the Mournes themselves.

All in all, a brilliant day out with great company, questionable decisions, and even better craic. Roll on the next one. ⛰️🔥

02/11/2025

Four hallions ventured into the mighty Mournes this morning, greeted by a gloriously sunny start — crisp air, bright skies, and spirits high. Not quite as bright, however, as Rory’s white guddies. Having forgotten his trail shoes, he was forced to tackle Speelack, Meelmore, Meelbeg and Slieve Loughshannagh in what can only be described as his Saturday night dancers. 💃🕺

Miss Poland added some extra spice to the day’s vocabulary — if she doesn’t tone it down soon, we may have to withdraw our application for the “Have a Foreigner, Get Funding” grant. 🇵🇱😂

Deathroll brought along Lola, while I had Carley — both dogs performed impeccably, unlike their owners. The return via Fofanny Dam rounded off a cracking circuit, with blue skies, good company, and plenty of laughs.

Another grand day out with the MUMs — blisters, bark, and bad language included. 👣🐾☀️

21/09/2025

A day of Forests, Trails, Tumbles, Choppers🤫 and Sad Farts 🥾🍃🚁

Toady, we started off at Trassey car park and headed through Tollymore, up the hill with no name, over Slievenabrock and onto Commedagh. It was shaping up to be a jolly day out with six hallions and, to our surprise, the return of long-time member Alli. Unfortunately, she and the girls had wait a lifetime in the car park because the fellas were late (by proxy – because I was driving, of course).

It was a warm enough day and a tough slog to the top of Commedagh where we stopped for a bit of lunch before aiming towards Corragh. That’s when Alli decided to make the day all about her 🤦‍♂️😂– by taking a tumble and twisting her ankle. The Hallions wasted no time and called for help, got her ushered to a flatter spot, leg up, wrapped her in foil like a Christmas turkey, and waited.

Mourne Mountain Rescue volunteers Mark and Charles soon appeared, bringing a bothy bag – only big enough for Alli and Yvonne (selfish). A while later, the Coast Guard chopper “The Cliff” came buzzing in, called by Mark and waved in by Charlie, who has his own wingspan of about five meters long. From the chopper winch, descended a burly, bearded Swiss man – to the absolute delight of the ladies whose eyelash flutters nearly blew him back up the winch. His first aid skills, winch handling and general bloke-ness had the lads quietly impressed.

Alli was whisked away into the clouds (we hoped she left some sandwiches...she didnt😒), and we carried on, now accompanied by MMR Mark – who, it turns out, is involved in loads of events some of us do. He also happens to be as foul-mouthed and belligerent as the rest of us, so we’ve clearly made a new pal.

Other craic: Simey hit 50 (though he’s been a grumpy old man since the late 80s). He shared a sad story and let out a sad fart at the same time – pure milestone stuff. And Cliff managed to “forget” his wallet for coffee afterwards, but sure he didn’t care.

Another day in the Mournes – full of views, laughs, rescues, and a reminder that even when things go sideways, we’ve hallions to look after each other (and slag you off while we're at it)

We hope Alli is doing OK, and we all send her our best.❤️ get better soon pal. A massive shout out to the Mourne Mountain Rescue Team who carried out Allis rescue with absolute professionalism

25/08/2025

⭐ Update… Wilson has been found!!! ⭐

Sadly, Mabel is still missing.

Please keep an eye out for Wilson who is also missing… he was spotted at the weekend with his lead on…

Please help get Wilson & Mabel reunited with their owners

REUNITED WITH OWNER

COMMENTING HAS BEEN TURNED OFF ..
Please read the post in full to avoid confusion
The hiker spotted Wilson at 6.20pm last night *Sat 23rd* . However, his post was only approved this morning *24th* , so it caused confusion to people thinking he had only been spotted an hr ago .
We need to make sure the owner only receives the correct information and therefore have turned off commenting .

PM US IF YOU HAVE INFO

MISSING: STAFFIE

LOCATION: SLIEVE BEARNAGH MOUNTAINS

DATE: 23/08/25

DETAILS: SIGHTING YESTERDAY AT 6.20PM AT BASE ON BEARNAGH ON ROUTE TO DONARD BY A HIKER
OWNERS ON WAY .
WILSON HAS LEAD ON SO COULD GET CAUGHT . IF YOU SEE HIM, PLEASE TRY TO BRING TO SAFETY AND CONTACT US .

MABEL ALSO STILL MISSING

PLEASE PM PAGE WITH ANY INFORMATION.

Many thanks

17/08/2025

This lovely girl is still missing.

Please keep an eye out for her.

URGENT

MISSING SINCE 15TH AUG 3.30PM WITH NO SIGHTINGS

ALL HELP IS REQUIRED

DRONE PILOTS (WE WILL TRY AND GET OURS THERE )

ON FOOT SEARCHERS

Mabel was on the track from Lough Shannagh to OTT carpark, on the Mourne Mountains.

10/08/2025

Wild camp capers and hiking hangovers. The MUM way!

The promise of a nice, clear night was enough to encourage Simey, Jimmy and I to hit the hills for a cheeky wild camp. Location - the Hares Gap. (Were not afraid to post our location). Logistics, bring camping essentials in the following order:-
1. Beer (i forgot mine)
2. Hip flask &Wine (i remembered mine)
3. Food (pot noodles, breakfast bacon and smores. I forgot the biscuits)
4. Tent
5. Sleeping blanket
6. Will power
Jimmy was trussed up like a one man band with his foam mattress swinging like an accordian on his rucksack. All he needed was a mouth organ and knee cymbals to finish the job.
The three of us (and Carley the dog) had a great night, at first getting ate alive by midges then when they buggered off the drink and 80s tunes were flying. We whiled the night away redding people up and farting loudly, breaking the famous tranquility of the Majestic Manor.
In the morning, we were joined by Mother Yvonne and Andrew for our fortnightly hike. Truth be told, we were hanging out of our holes big time! So as not to be called out for frootery, we soldiered on with brave faces.
We left the Hares Gap, over to Beg, Cove and Lamagan then dropped down to the Ben Crom reservoir to the horrible slog back up to the Hares Gap to collect our tents. Poor Mother and Andrew had to contain to three smelly hungover idiots for 5 hours. God love them.
It was Yvonne who ripped Jimmy about the one man band on the way back to Meelmore Lodge. He took it that bad, he refused to give us a wee tune.
Don't drink and hike kids, your legs turn to lead and you don't speak for long periods of time as you question your choices, even while surrounded by beautiful mountains and scenery.

27/07/2025

Hallions United: MUM Meets PRC

Today saw a fusion of fine form and feral craic as the Hallions of the Mid Ulster Mountaineers joined forces with the Portadown Running Club crew – a match made in electrolyte heaven.

Jimmy and I led the PRC squad on a 12km hike – part slow hill training, part open season on slagging. With the Wicklow Eco Trail looming in September, the runners were looking to build some hill legs and sharpen their banter blades. Safe to say they’re well-versed in the latter.

Sumon, full of questions and curiosity, didn’t stand a chance. Poor lad barely finished one thought before Rory's patience had evaporated. “Where are we? What’s that mountain called? Are these my feet?” – all met with eye-rolls and muffled sniggers from Simon’s direction as Rory slowly unravelled.

Meanwhile, Richard was off doing Richard things – mostly running up hills, running down hills, running round the rest of us, or on the lookout for hallucination-inducing wildflowers and the mythical vi**ra herb. Standard.

Nadine – who’s been leveling up lately – originally signed up for the 10km Wicklow race but now has her eyes on the 19km. At this rate, she'll be toeing the line of the 80km by September. She also played her usual role of wrangling the ruffians when the craic got too spicy. Every group needs a headmistress, and she' was ours today in the absence of Mother.

Stephanie and Nicole came along too, training for the 7 Sevens in September, raising funds for a great cause. They had Jimmy Jimmy playing mountain sherpa for the day.

Cracker day out, decent elevation, good company, and just the right mix of hiking, and roasting each other.

We’re back in two weeks with another spicy number. If the weather holds, we’ll attempt the long-promised Rocky to Rocky hike that never quite happened. Hope to see the PRC crew along for another dose!

26/07/2025

Gareth headed over to Wales for a family holiday. The hills beckoned and the very dangerous and exciting Grib Goch beckoned further. Read all about it

My Crib Goch Adventure

So there I was, on a family holiday in Snowdonia, thinking I’d take it easy. But nope, I had Crib Goch planned, because who doesn’t want a bit of adrenaline on holiday?

Started at Pen-y-Pass (359m), warmed up on the trails, then tackled the famous Crib Goch (923m)—which is basically a rocky tightrope with a serious personality. After surviving that, I dropped down to Bwlch Coch (858m), scrambled up Crib y Ddysgl (1065m), passed Bwlch Glas (998m), and finished on top of Yr Wyddfa (Snowdon) itself.

I won’t lie, I was clinging on at times thinking maybe this wasn’t my best decision. But honestly, it was way more exciting than terrifying. The views? Absolutely stunning. The adrenaline? Next level.

By the end, I was buzzing already thinking about doing it again or taking on Tryfan next time.

Moral of the story: don’t judge a ridge by its reputation. Crib Goch looks scary, but it’s one hell of a thrill.