Verity Allaway - Celebrant

23/07/2025

Anyone who has ever had even half a conversation with me - both personally and professionally - will know how much I enjoy music. A lot of my music tastes can be traced back to the bands I was introduced to by my Dad when I was in my early teens. But there was one band who has influenced my tastes more than most....

Black Sabbath

From that discovery of Ozzy Osbourne and his unique vocals, I knew my life was going down the path of Heavy Metal.

I've never looked back.

Ozzy Osbourne lived a life of wild abandon and chaos, and he truly delighted in the world. His health issues of recent years never dulled his spark and just weeks ago during the show back in his home town it was still there. He was still delighting in the spectacle and the performance of playing live, just as he always did.

The whole world mourns a true legend.

08/07/2025

An interesting article from Alice Gendron explaining what it can be like to go through grief as a person dealing with ADHD.

This quote from the article is especially useful:

"According to research, emotional regulation plays a crucial role in how we handle loss and work through our grief. In complicated grief, having healthy, stable emotional regulation is especially important. Unlike the more common experiences of grieving, which gradually lessens over time and allows for healing, complicated grief seems to be stuck in an intense emotional state. It can persist for months or years, interfering with everyday activities, relationships, and overall wellbeing.
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Research suggests that ADHD adults who struggle with emotional regulation are more prone to depressive symptoms and anxiety during stressful events like losing a loved one or pregnancy loss. We might experience overwhelming emotions that become difficult to manage, partly due to ADHD symptoms and partly because we're human, and grief is tough."

Navigating grief with ADHD? This article will help you realize unique challenges and tackle misconceptions - like what's 'wrong' in grieving - to guide your healing.

04/07/2025

Here's an example of one of the poem's I've recently added to my Pinterest page

A Scottish Heart - Author Unknown

Scotland isn't just a place, it's something that lives within. It's in your heart, your blood, and your soul.

Discover even more ideas for you

04/07/2025

Any of you lovely people use Pinterest?

I'm currently working on a project to put all the poems that I use on it, so that you have some nice reference points to look at when coming up with ideas.

It is a work in progress, so I'll be adding to it as and when I can, but here's what I've come up with so far...

See what Verity Allaway - Celebrant (VerityA_Celebrant) has discovered on Pinterest, the world's biggest collection of ideas.

02/06/2025

I think this says all I need to say...

Oh, and I love you all ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜🖤🩶🤍🤎 🌈

💕🌈🏳️‍🌈💞

08/03/2025

In honour of International Women's Day - which is today, Saturday 8th March - I want to celebrate all of the wonderful women in my life.

My Mum and my sisters have always gone above and beyond when it comes to us looking out for each other; even when we get on each others nerves and wind each other up, there's never been a time when we've not been friends.

I also want to celebrate my lovely friends for simply being who they are: the quiet and introverted ones and the loud, boisterous ones; there's the ones who champion and defend with a keen sense of justice, and the ones who quietly support and raise up those who need a little confidence boost.

Every single one of you deserve the recognition of being absolutely beautiful human beings. Keep on being who you are - you're fantastic and I love you all.

10/11/2024

On Remembrance Sunday we are reminded of those who have given their all in defence of our freedom. We honour their lives and their bravery, and we give thanks by ensuring their legacy and their sacrifices were not in vain.

This excerpt from the Laurence Binyon poem "For The Fallen" says everything I feel needs to be said...
Below is the ALT TEXT for the visually impaired:
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
They sleep beyond England's foam.

But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
As the stars are known to the Night;

As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain;
As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
To the end, to the end, they remain.

10/10/2024

As it's World Mental Health Day, here's a few numbers for organisations that can help you in times of need, courtesy of Mental Health Believe UK

Please remember that you are never alone 💚

08/10/2024

Yesterday was a lovely day.

I had a funeral booked at a nearby cemetery for a chap who was Portsmouth, born and bred. He was a proper sun-worshipper and would sit out the front of his house, surrounded by flowers and basking in the sunshine.

In the lead up to the service, all the weather reports stated that it would be raining all day so I made sure that we did as much as possible in the little cemetery chapel so that no one would have to worry about standing outside in the rain for too long.

As everyone is turning up - and there was quite the generous turn-out, which is lovely - they're all ready with jackets and brollies, all with the expectation of rain.

And it was glorious hot sunshine for the entirety of the duration of the funeral, and for a little while after, too.

There are many sayings attributed to sunshine and the meaning behind it: I like to believe that, in this instance, a sad occasion was made brighter and more positive an experience because we were very lucky to have the sun shining down on a day that should have had rain (and in fact, that very morning the weather reports were still saying it would rain.)

So this is my reminder that even when things seem dark and gloomy - even when the rain is pouring or the clouds are looming - a little bit of sunshine can make all the difference.

28/09/2024

Some recent feedback from a lovely family for a service we held for a chap who was born and bred in South London and over the years found his way to the south coast.

When we held the service, the sun decided to shine down on us after having had a rather chilly turn. Proper caravanning weather!
ALT TEXT for the visually impaired:
Dad would have loved the day, the service was lovely, you captured him in everyway we remember him.

Family, friends have said that's the best tribute they have heard. You created a journey, life of dad that flowed so perfectly. Dads brothers, sisters say thankyou to you aswell.

The sun was shining, the family were altogether having a good catch up and cry.

Thank you so much for everything.

24/09/2024

Some lovely feedback from a truly lovely family I had the pleasure of working with recently. Their Dad's passing was recent and because I was lucky enough to work with them when Mum passed away a few years ago, I also had the pleasure and privilege of meeting Dad.
ALT TEXT for visually impaired:

Hi Verity,

Thank you so much for giving our dad a wonderful send off today. The service you gave was really lovely.

Our dad would have been so happy seeing so many people coming to say goodbye. He was so loved by so many and even a large number of carers from the home he was at came saying what a lovely man he was. We were lucky to have such a wonderful father; he was always telling us how much he loved having daughters. We’ll miss him very much.

It’s very kind and thoughtful of you to attach copies of both our parent’s services. I was going to ask my sister’s if they’d like me to organise copies so we can now do that.

Just to finish, the wake was full of happy stories about our dad which is exactly how he would have wanted it to be.

Again, thank you, Verity for being part of our families story.

Take care and enjoy life.

20/09/2024

Hello my lovelies.

It's been a while but I've been thinking a lot about the way in which we celebrate our loved ones is changing.

Times have changed in the way that we look at funerals and how we celebrate the lives of our family and friends. Whilst an attended funeral, joined by all of our loved ones, is still the most popular option – be it in a crematorium, church, or burial site – we are seeing a rise in unattended funerals too.

This may be due simply to costs, but there are also those who aren’t so bothered by what they see as the fuss that comes with something more formal or structured. They might want family to celebrate them in a more informal setting, or they might prefer to not have any kind of send-off whatsoever.

Which brings me on to the topic of my little post:

Memorials

Memorials are a much more informal way of giving someone a send-off. There’s no pressure of time limits, such as you might have in a church or crematorium. You choose a venue, invite family and friends, and enjoy each other’s company whilst telling stories.

I love telling stories: Putting together the life story of person is, in my opinion, one of the greatest privileges of my job. Sitting with family and collecting all of those little moments that make up a person’s life and putting it all together is one of my favourite things to do.

Our tale could be a chronological storytelling, with a beginning, middle, and end; it could be a simple collection of tales in some semblance of order that makes sense, such as work life, home life, hobbies, travel; or it could be completely different. The options might actually be endless as they are only limited to how we choose to tell the stories.

When I’m holding a memorial, I like to take some of the formality away: because your venue usually gives you a few hours, rather than the standard 45 minutes or so, you can be much more free with what you’ve planned. I love to take the opportunity to open up the floor and ask if anyone would like to share any tales they’ve prepared in advance – most people just like to wing it, though!

The time you are allotted might factor into your venue choice too. The location might have some significance to the deceased – recently I held one for a chap who loved to watch the Solent from his favourite bench outside the Square Tower in Portsmouth after a nice long walk along the seafront.

The venue might be chosen for ease of access if you have guests with mobility issues; it may simply be a nice location with good parking; it may also simply be because it suits your budget.

There are plenty of pubs and similar venues, such as golf clubs or hotels, that can offer a private room – and I could probably list off the top of my head at least ten in the Portsmouth/ Fareham/ Gosport area alone – as well a catering package for a reasonable price. You might want to put a token amount behind the bar “from our dearly departed friend” or see if you can arrange for a drinks package.

Many places now have a screen option – you can simply plug in a memory stick and have some photos playing on a loop. You can have a canvas displayed for photos, or have them laid out on a table.

I love the idea of having your guests bring their favourite photo (or photos) and place them into a scrap book or album with the associated story or a favourite memory written down alongside it.

Music is easily dealt with: what we play in a more formal funeral might not be *quite* what a person would listen to in their daily lives: just because they asked for Norman Greenbaum’s "Spirit In The Sky", doesn’t mean they weren’t really keen on heavy metal or K-Pop, too.

The options really are only limited to your imagination.

If you want to ask more questions, please get in touch with me and we can come up with something that suits you and your loved ones.