http://www.rebeccaspavenpostnataldoula.co.uk/

Rebecca Spaven Postnatal Doula, Reading (2025)

28/03/2025

Firstly, please accept my sincere apologies for the radio silence. I dropped off the socials without so much as an explanation as to my situation.

I wasn't sure how to word my situation, which is often part of the problem, isn't it?! I'm going to nutshell it...in essence, my reality of being a postnatal doula has come to an end because of personal circumstances. For now? For ever? That remains to be seen, and something I will be navigating over the next few months.

I had my last session with my last family yesterday and left with a whole mix of emotions. I've woken up today feeling devastated, as the potential reality of not having the capacity to doula EVER again sets in.

I want to thank all of the families who have invited me into their homes and their postnatal experiences over the last 2 and a bit years...my time with each and every one of you was pure joy and you shaped me as a doula and as a person. I will hold you close to my heart forever.

I want to thank my training provider who nurtured my learning and supported my development in such a powerful way. I am ever grateful to my Younique mentor, Antoinette, who's faith in me was unwavering and who saw me through to recognition last October.

Thank you to all my peer supporters, who I will continue to support with all my being...you are The Village and the work you do is so valuable. Keep being you and being amazing.

I want to thank you all, as followers on my social media pages. Without you, the tumbleweeds would have set in and it would have been a much less enjoyable place to be.

Being a postnatal doula has also allowed me to come to terms with my own postnatal journey, and the rough time I had with Little Legs. I am now comfortably at peace with my postnatal situation.

This was supposed to be a short post, but you know me...love a ramble! I hope to be back in the future, whatever shape that may take, but for now...its not a goodbye...its a see you later!

Bex ###

28/02/2025

☣️☣️ TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS ☣️☣️

The wonderful Donna over at continues to amaze, with her easy and accessible tips to make our daily diets less toxic.

She has, without a doubt, opened my eyes to many things and I love the simplicity...who knew that aiming for reduced toxicity could be so easily achieved?!

If you are not already, go over and see Donna, give her a follow, and reap the reward that is undoubtedly her treasure trove of a page.

25/02/2025

Kathryn Di Virgilio, an experienced mental health therapist and registered health professional, brings a wealth of knowledge to guide you through the first of this free two part workshop on perfectionism.

Perfectionism can leave parents feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, and constantly dissatisfied with their efforts. In this first workshop, we’ll explore how perfectionism manifests in parenting and its emotional impact. Through discussion and reflection, you’ll learn to identify perfectionistic thoughts and behaviours, and begin to understand how they may be affecting your well-being and your relationship with your children. By the end of the session, you’ll have practical strategies to challenge unrealistic standards and reduce the pressure you place on yourself. Join us to start breaking free from perfectionism and embrace a more balanced, compassionate approach to parenting.

To reserve your space please visit https://loom.ly/EoM92mI

24/02/2025

with code INSTA43

24/02/2025

🚼🚼BACK TO BASICS 🚼🚼

I hadn't changed a single nappy before my son was born, and I was petrified to do it after.

But I'm a bit of a Nappy Ninja now...Legs in the air, swoosh, swoosh, stick stick, frills out...all done!

It's only easy when you know how, so take your time, and try to power through the potential crying of your little one, protesting about having their nethers exposed to the elements.

Deep breaths...not too deep though 💩

18/02/2025

🙏🙏WOULD IT BE OK IF...?🙏🙏

Day 3 of the worst tonsillitis I've had to date, and I was due to be taking Little Legs out.

I cried at the prospect of going out feeling horrendous.

I cried at the thought of letting him down.

I cried at the thought of not being able to power on, suck it up and 'be a mum'.

And then that made me cry, because it shouldn't be like that!!!

So, I spoke to my Mum (cried down the phone to her as well!). I booked Little Legs favourite holiday club, packed him an awesome lunch, and he will be picked up by his grandparents for a sleepover tonight....with a view to rejoining me tomorrow, hopefully with me feeling somewhat better.

I rely on a very small support network, but my goodness they are incredible.

I'm hoping the next 24 hours see some improvement, and that I get to spend some quality time with my amazing little boy tomorrow.

So, what I'm trying to say is...if today is a sh*****se day, what can you do today that may make tomorrow easier? Ask for support, ask for help, just ask. What's the worst that can happen.

14/02/2025

❤️❤️ HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ❤️❤️

I send Little Legs a Valentines Day card every February 14th, and I've had mixed reactions over the years...1yo had full on tears and then threw the card at me, whereas 6yo smiled, said thank you and asked if that meant he could have chocolate for breakfast.

I will continue to send my son Valentines Day cards until the end of forever, although I don't dress him up anymore. That ship sailed many years ago!

11/02/2025

🤘🤘 OXYTOCIN 🤘🤘

Oxytocin is our love hormone, and can be very shy…a bit like me, to be fair, in that it doesn’t like unfamiliar people or places!

Oxytocin is the one of the hormones that really needs to be protected during labour and birth as it helps the uterus contract, makes us feel lovely, calm and positive, helps us to bond with our new baby and tells our breasts to release milk. Quite clearly a bit of a boss, and one that we want to join us at the party.

So how can we encourage oxytocin? In pregnancy, spontaneous labour, induction, during a c-section or postnatally?

☁️ Physical Contact. If you can stand to be touched by anyone without wanting to rip their face off or crawl into a world of ick, go nuts on the hugs and the smooch…and the rest. Or***ms are great for oxytocin if you fancy that approach!

☁️ Happiness in all its forms will work its magic with oxytocin, and this could be from eating lush food, watching a film that makes you smile, or being with people you love.

☁️ By getting your birth partner in on the act in terms of protecting your space and keeping you comfortable. They know you the best, so they will know what makes you feel happy and safe.

We talk about oxytocin and other helpful (and some unhelpful!) hormones in my FREE online Introduction to Birth Preparation and Hypnobirthing Sessions, of which there are only 2 left before my full course kicks off in March.

If you would like to know more, about either the Intro sessions or the full course, check out my website for more details https://rebeccaspavenpostnataldoula.co.uk/hypnobirthing

08/02/2025

🌸🌸 A STITCH IN TIME 🌸🌸

According to the NHS, up to 9 in 10 first-time mothers who have a vaginal birth will have some sort of tear, graze or episiotomy.

If you had a tear or an episiotomy, you'll probably have needed stitches to repair it. Dissolvable stitches are usually used, so you will not need to return to hospital to have them removed.

That said, they can prove less than...comfortable, shall we say! Similar to sitting on an angry hedgehog...?!

If you are suffering from pain and discomfort caused by an episiotomy or a tear, here are just a few fantastic options to help soothe your pain.

Have you got any more that you can add? Let me know in the comments!

07/02/2025

🌟🌟 FEEDBACK 🌟🌟

Last week saw an incredible soul join me for one of my free, online Introduction to Birth Preparation and Hypnobirthing sessions.

She was due in 2 days, so a full course was never going to be an option at this point, but she was being heavily encouraged to accept an induction on her due date.

She did not want an induction.

She did not know that she had options.

She came, she listened, she left.

And from last night's email...I can tell you - she did not have her induction. She had spontaneous labour two days 'overdue'.

I hope, with all my heart, that despite her use of the word 'sadly' when referring to intervention, that she realises...

How strong she had been to say no to something she didn't want.

How proud she should be of herself to have got to 8cm before making her own decision to accept intervention.

How grateful I am to her for coming to me when she felt she had no choice but to accept induction.

Very happy 😊

06/02/2025

❓️❓️WHAT DO DOULAS DO, WHEN THEY DO DOULA-ING❓️❓️

01/02/2025

🆘️🆘️ HELP VS SUPPORT 🆘️🆘️

You might be thinking to yourself “But, they are both the same thing!!”, which they are…but also aren’t.

I'm going to *try* to break them down a bit so that you, as a new parent, can really tap into what your emotions are telling you and unapologetically ask for either help or support – whatever you feel you want or need.

Feeling that you want HELP can often be a very reactive state, and may be the result of overwhelm, confusion, too much/not enough choice, low confidence in your parenting ability and so on. Often a call for help is born out of ongoing confusion within your journey coupled with (or as the result of) a lack of support.

Feeling that you want SUPPORT can also be reactive, but can also be indicative of you being confident in a path you want to follow, but one that you understand lacks all the resources required. It can be that you preempt a need for support to get to where you want to be emotionally, environmentally and so on to potentially prevent needing help.

As a parent, there should be no guilt, shame or judgment in asking for either help or support, but it can make the difference in knowing what you actually need. To be honest, if a parent in the trenches of the Fourth Trimester asked me for a banana-shaped camel made of ice cream, I still wouldn’t judge…my internet history may look a little odd though!

25/01/2025

🤱🏽🤱🏻 PAIN, PAIN, GO AWAY🤱🏾🤱🏼

Cracked ni***es are, quite literally, a pain in the t1ts and can be caused by a plethora of issues, such as latch, tongue-tie, removal from the breast without effectively breaking the suction, or personal care (bras that are too tight, laundry powder residue etc) to name a but a few.

If you are suffering from cracked ni***es and dread feeding, here some fantastic options to help soothe your pain and bring you relief whilst you establish the cause.

If you have specific concerns about your breastfeeding journey, please do reach out from support from your GP, Midwife, Health Visitor, local Lactation Consultant, or contact one (or all) of the National support organisations, such as La Leche League International and The Breastfeeding Network (UK) .

***es

24/01/2025

📚📚INFORMED CONSENT📚📚

Consent is saying yes to decisions about your body, or your baby.

Informed consent is knowing what you are saying yes to, in its entirety.

You can also decline. That is your right.

That's the simplest way I can put it without veering off on all the intricacies of informed consent...however...you can read SO much more from Birthrights who really do pack a punch with the accessibility of their information on informed consent.

You can also learn more about it with me, on my Online Birth Prep & Hypnobirthing Course, held in March...with free Intro Sessions running all through the rest of Jan and Feb ❤️ Click here for more info! https://rebeccaspavenpostnataldoula.co.uk/events

23/01/2025

🚗🚗 ROOOOADTRIIIIP🚗🚗

I'm not going to start by insinuating that you and your baby are going to go on a roadtrip with little planning...you aren't Thelma and Louise...but if you *are* off on a long drive, have you considered absolutely everything?

The Lullaby Trust advise that, "if your trip involves driving for long periods of time, you should stop for frequent breaks. This will allow you to check on your baby, take them out of the car seat and let them stretch and move around.

Ideally, a second adult should travel in the back of the car with your baby, or if travelling alone use a mirror to keep an eye on your baby. If your baby changes their position and slumps forward, then you should immediately stop, take them out of the car seat and sit them upright before continuing on your journey.

It is essential for safety that babies travel in a rearward-facing baby seats. Rearward-facing seats provide greater protection for the baby’s head, neck and spine than forward-facing seats."

They have also got lots more guidance on their webpage at https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/product-information/car-seats-and-sids/

📸 The Lullaby Trust

22/01/2025

💜🖤 NEW YEAR, NEW YOU 🖤💜

This January, relax your fading New Years Resolutions in a bath full of zero regrets, soaking your Dry January in my self-care Lavender Bath T-Bags.

Lavender is wonderful for SO many other things...

💜 Stress and Anxiety

🩵 Wound Health

💜 Headaches and Migraines

🩵 Restful Sleep

💜 Depression

💙 Hair Care

💜Digestion

🩵Acne

💜Heart Health

🩵Burns

💜Skincare
..and so much more!

Please do check out my Gifting page for more info! https://rebeccaspavenpostnataldoula.co.uk/shop

21/01/2025

🥳🥳 SIDEKICK SUPPORT 🥳🥳

Your Birth Partner isn't just 'Daddy', or 'Other Mum' or your sister or your mate...

Your Birth Partner has a job to do. Well, actually, several jobs to do. If a birth partner is worried that they will be in the way or feel like a bit of a spare part, READ ON!

The role of a Birth Partner has such a broad scope, but here are a few things that they can do to both prepare for birth and support you during labour;

💪 They can get as informed about positive birth as possible.

💪 They can support you through researching your birth plan options. If they know why you have made a choice about any aspect, they will have more confidence in their own ability to advocate for you.

💪 They can learn about all the relaxation and focus tool that you hope to use, and support you in using them.

💪 They can be your logistical dreamworker, doing hospital dry runs, packing bags, sorting playlists etc.

💪 They can be your snack b***h.

💪They can make sure your birth space matches the serenity of your imagination, and protect it.

💪 They can ensure that all afterbirth choices are understood and acknowledged

And on and on and on.

Birth Partners can truly be one of the best things to have in your birth space! My husband told a Doctor to "Go and fck yourself" when said Doctor kept INSISTING that I NEEDED a vaginal examination and I kept declining. Never saw him again. (The Dr, not my husband. Luckily I saw my husband again).

16/01/2025

🤰 🤰PREGNANCY AFTER LOSS🤰 🤰

Getting pregnant after a loss can invite many conflicting emotions.

Some may be excited, relieved or content that they are pregnant again, but equally worried, anxious or hesitant to feel excited.

Some may still be grieving for their loss and feel a sense of guilt about feeling happy.

It's very natural, as a result of these conflicting emotions, to pour energy and focus into the pregnancy, and not really give depth of thought to the period after a baby is born.

Equally, on the other side of the coin, new parents experiencing intense and disruptive emotions after a baby is born can be made to feel that they 'shouldn't complain' because 'it's everything you wanted, you should be happy'.
< Cue eyeroll. You are happy, it's just really intense being a new parent!! >

As a Postnatal Doula, I pride myself in being able to support you in making a comprehensive and flexible postnatal plan based on your environment and requirements after your baby is born.

I am here to listen to you, both antenatally and postnatally, when those emotions hit hard and you want to share without judgement.

My door is also always open to those who simply want a chat. Feeling alone with no one to talk to is not fun, and it's not fair. I'm here for you ❤️

Rebecca Spaven Postnatal Doula

28/03/2025

28/02/2025

25/02/2025

24/02/2025

24/02/2025

18/02/2025

14/02/2025

11/02/2025

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07/02/2025

06/02/2025

01/02/2025

25/01/2025

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16/01/2025

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