Preedy Psychology

01/10/2025

30/09/2025

I often work with parents who have followed advice to be very positive with their children. They give them lots of praise, they have reward systems and they ‘catch them in good behaviour’. Their children are surrounded in positive reinforcement, with a ‘well done!’ each time they do a somersault or draw a picture.

And then it backfires. They had thought that rewards would make their child more likely to do things, but in fact it works the opposite way. They offer a sticker or a reward and the child refuses to budge. The more positive they are, the less cooperative their child becomes. One family told me about their son who had loved painting – until he won a prize. From that day onwards, he stopped painting.

What’s going on? For some children, positivity can feel like pressure. They respond to pressure with avoidance, and so the more positivity there is, the more they need to avoid. The harder their parents try, the more entrenched the avoidance gets. The answer is to step back and resist the urge to praise. Don’t make a big deal out of their achievements. It feels strange, but sometimes being a bit more offhand gives them the space they need to do the things they want to do.

This is the Pressure Paradox, and it’s one of the three keys to understanding your demand avoidant child. If you don’t understand it, then the harder you try, the worse things get. You put so much effort in and yet everything seems to be stuck.

Come to my webinar next week to hear more about the psychology of demand avoidance. It’s about so much more than demands. There is a recording option.

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/understanding-and-helping-your-demand-avoidant-child-tickets-1472494212829?aff=fb6

28/09/2025

🧠 How Does EMDR Actually Work? Let’s Talk About the AIP Model

If you’re curious about EMDR, one of the most common questions is:

"How does it actually work?"

At the heart of EMDR is something called the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model.

And don’t worry, we’re not going to dive into neuroscience jargon. Let me explain it the way I do in my training sessions.

👉 Here’s the idea:
Your brain is naturally wired to process experiences and make sense of them. Most of the time, when something difficult or upsetting happens, your brain can digest the experience over time – just like healing a physical wound. But when something is too overwhelming or traumatic, that process can get blocked. Instead of being properly processed, the memory gets stuck – along with the thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that came with it. So even years later, something small – a smell, a sound, a look – can bring you right back into that moment.

It’s not just remembering it – it’s re-living it.

That’s where EMDR comes in.
Instead of focusing on changing thoughts or behaviours (like CBT), EMDR activates the brain’s natural healing process so that the stuck memory can be reprocessed and properly stored.

This is done through a structured, 8-phase approach and something called bilateral stimulation – most commonly in the form of eye movements, tapping, or tones. During EMDR, you hold the memory in mind while engaging both sides of the brain. And here’s the incredible part: as the memory reprocesses, it loses its intensity. The emotions soften. The meaning changes. The nervous system stops reacting as if the danger is still happening.

When you understand the AIP model, EMDR starts to make sense.

🎓 Want to learn exactly how to use EMDR with your clients – and see the AIP model in action?

My EMDR Europe Accredited training takes place in January 2026 in Torquay, with follow-ups in March & July.

✅ Live demonstrations
✅ Real client case examples
✅ Supervised practice
✅ Supportive learning environment

👉 Book your place or find out more:
drbutton-emdrtraining.co.uk/emdr-training-dates

15/09/2025

21/08/2025

📘 GCSE Results Day – A Message for Students and Parents

Today, many young people across the country will be receiving their GCSE results. This is an important milestone, and for some, it will bring joy and relief. For others, it may bring disappointment or uncertainty.

If the results are not what you or your child had hoped for, it is vital to remember that exam results do not define a person’s future or potential. There are always alternative pathways, opportunities to re-sit, and routes to success that may not be obvious right now.

Our Clinical Director is living proof of this: she left school without any GCSEs, later joined the RAF, returned to education in her twenties, and went on to build a highly successful career. Her journey is a reminder that resilience, determination, and the right support can lead to incredible achievements, no matter where you start.

To parents: it can be difficult to see your child upset or disappointed today. The most important gift you can offer is reassurance, understanding, and encouragement. Sometimes the most valuable lessons come not from success, but from setbacks—and knowing that their worth and potential are not defined by a set of grades can make all the difference.

✨ Whether celebrating or regrouping, today is just one moment in a much larger journey.

16/07/2025

Hi, I’m Naomi and I’m a clinical psychologist. That means that I’m a specialist in mental health. I work with teenagers who are feeling really distressed and unhappy.

13/06/2025

When I was young, I got very good at taking exams. I sat nine GCSE’s, each with at least two papers. I went to 6th form college and sat more exams there. Onto university, and at the end of each year there were more exams which I had to pass in order to continue. Summer after summer, dominated by high stakes exams. I sat in hot exam halls with my clear pencil case and wrote until my hand hurt.

By the time I was in my early twenties, I knew a lot about my own exam taking style. I knew that it wouldn’t matter if I slept badly the night before, because I would get a rush of adrenaline and it would carry me through. I knew that afterwards I would be convinced I had done terribly and would go over and over the answers in my head. I knew that mostly I would do okay even if I was convinced I hadn’t, although I did almost fail a biochemistry exam in my first year at university. And histology exams were more of a guessing exercise than a test of my knowledge. I never could see anything in the slides.

Sometimes I dream I have to take another exam, and I get that same adrenaline rush. I wake up remembering being seated in distanced rows, with tags fastening my papers together. I remember the panic of a leaking pen, or realising that you’ve completely misunderstood the question with only ten minutes to go.

But now, no one wants to set me an exam. Since I finished university, I have not managed to find anywhere to practice that skill that I so painfully developed, summer after summer. And when I think about it, I can see why. What would be the point of making me sit in a lecture room and write everything that I could remember, without being allowed to look things up or discuss them with someone else? What purpose would it serve? How would it be worth all the hours of revision? What would it tell anyone usefully about my capabilities in work or life?

And then I wonder what might I have learnt in with those years, had they not been so dominated by exams and the need to do well every summer. For what I learn was to play safe, not to choose anything too challenging. I learnt to choose subjects where I thought I would perform, not that I found most interesting or inspiring. Sometimes I got it wrong (like the biochem) and then I would avoid that subject if I could in the future. I did not choose art, or Japanese, or philosophy, because I was not sure of my ability to do well enough in the exam.

I learnt to colour within the lines and to give the examiners what they wanted. I did it well.

It took me years to unlearn what I learnt over those years of exams. It took me years to start to scribble outside the lines, or to think for myself without wondering if I was ‘getting it right’. And I did well. For those who do badly, they learnt that there is no point in trying, that they don’t measure up and now their grades will confirm that to everyone else.

Our young people are still going through the same performance. Year after year of their adolescence is spent worrying about exams, and years of their education is spent trying to get them to perform well for those hours in an exam hall.

We don’t seem to be able to stop, despite the evidence that it isn’t working and that many of our young people are left ill-equipped for life and work.

We need to think differently. Let’s tear up the exam papers and start again.

17/03/2025

A workshop on EMDR with clients who are Neurodivergent on 13th of May 2025.

30/12/2024

Such an excellent post on setting new year resolutions. Thanks Psychological Therapeutic Solutions Ltd for sharing and Dr Claire Plumbly for such a thoughtful blog

Understand the two types of goal-setting and be clear on which you're doing.

10/12/2024

Happy publication day to Coping With Menopause by 🤩

Brilliant to see the latest book in the book series & one we hope will create a big impact!

With thanks to Fiona Clark from

www.sequoia-books.com/catalog/islam

12/01/2024

Those of you who know me or how I work will know that I work a lot with people who’ve been affected by birth trauma. I wanted to share this government inquiry that has been launched as it has space for people to send in their own experiences and I think it’s so important to make sure as many voices as possible get heard. If you’ve been affected in some way by birth trauma please consider following the link and sending in your experience.

https://www.theo-clarke.org.uk/birth-trauma?fbclid=IwAR2UAhtrD7_Y8OuTQCQW_8AxmELWKgbSN3MUzhP0Z7FCuk9svBBFmgRCv6g_aem_AW1EpTnuYRKSvh9DWfeCVHtk5JldCt6MifrP4-ungqILJ1zn54WM5IaPm8XqqOJT9-g

Birth Trauma Inquiry Launched in UK Parliament

11/12/2023

Very excited to have received my copy of this today. I’m looking forward to reading it.