Willowtree Therapeutic Agency

15/08/2022

07/08/2022

I ongoingly remind myself that one of the greatest gifts I can give to my children is: meeting my own needs, modelling how to meet my own needs, modelling how to speak when I need to meet my own needs without putting that burden *on* my kids. Keeping myself calm, modelling how to keep myself calm, verbalizing the emotions that I'm feeling and what I'm doing to work through them.

Verbalizing all of it is, shockingly, the hardest part. My whole life I've heard from everybody ever just how much I talk, and yet somehow when I get upset or frustrated I start wanting to go absolutely silent and not explain myself. When I'm at my best, I can verbalize to my kids what I'm feeling. Take tiny steps toward trying to wire their brains this way in the first place.

[Image description: A pale yellow background with a green circle surrounding green text written in the center. The text reads, "We learn how to calm down by being shown how to do it and being raised near calm people who are at peace with themselves. No one learns how to calm down by being told to." The image is by Breakthecycle_coaching whose watermark is at the bottom. End description.]

04/08/2022

25/07/2022

26/06/2022

No-agenda listening can feel hard to do

Why?

Because:

We get flicked into rescue / fix it / teaching opportunity mode

Something they say activates a strong emotion in us so we stop listening and start reacting

We jump in as we think we know what they mean

There are many reasons we don’t just listen and let them talk

Simply hold a space while they explore stuff and feelings

Working to be able to listen more fully and without an agenda

Is work you and they will be so so glad that you did

Everyone needs someone in their life who is present, open and agenda-free

Especially as a child

You may never have had that person

But now you can work to become that precious person for your child

21/06/2022

A guide for parents and carers to CAMHS and CYPMHS mental health support for children and young people including how to access and work with services.

19/06/2022

It comes after a poll revealed that under a fifth of parents understood the “unique” importance of development in children under six years old.

10/06/2022

29/05/2022

Let’s stop “awfulizing” kids. Here’s how we can see the best in our babies. [Ray]

27/05/2022

12/05/2022

😖🥺

💛 Credit - Unknown

11/05/2022

Yellow Ladybugs presents The ADHD and Autistic Minds conference, featuring autistic girls, women, gender diverse individuals and allies. Presenters will share stories, insights and information regarding how Topics will cover understanding the brain, executive functioning and how best to support a po...

11/05/2022

We are all part of many groups and communities - families, schools, workplaces, friendship groups, clubs, etc. Whether these connections contribute to our stress or resilience levels is largely dependent on whether we feel a sense of belonging, or whether we have to try and fit in.

So what's the difference? When we feel a sense of belonging we feel safe to be ourselves. We feel ALL OF US is welcomed and accepted. This kind of connection is restorative and reparative and helps us manage the stressors in our lives.

When we 'fit in' we have to decide which parts of us are welcome and acceptable and which parts of us we need to hide from view. This can be really hard work over time and tends to deplete our reserves rather than renew them (especially if you lean towards introversion anyway!)

What would an audit of your connections look like? Where do you feel a sense of belonging, and where do you feel like you need to 'fit in'? What would allow you to have a better balance in your life? What would you need to feel you belonged? How can we support other people in our families, schools, workplaces, etc. feel a sense of belonging?

09/05/2022

Letter: Dr Anna Stevens responds to an editorial on mental health privatisation and says that problems don’t go away just because they are not diagnosed

29/04/2022

Shame and Guilt Workshop with Stefan Charidge

21/04/2022

Children can always feel your feelings

They can’t always understand them but they notice the shift in your physical and emotional state

So that can be tricky if you don’t want them to notice you’re really sad or perhaps low and lonely right now

Instead you might intend to protect them from it

So you try to hide or deny it when they ask “Are you sad Mummy?” “Dad are you ok?”

How can we gently share our real emotional state without overwhelming or even scaring them?

A great way to address this and model how to healthily feel and release our emotions is…

1. Take a deep slow breath

2. Acknowledge in a gentle way how you are feeling

“Yes I am feeling a bit sad right now. Thanks for noticing.”

3. Model how you respect and feel ok with all your emotions

“I’m going to let myself feel sad for a bit.”

4. Share how you let emotions go

“Then I’ll take 3 deep breaths and think of something or someone I feel so glad and grateful for as then the sadness will flow on by.”

The least helpful thing to do is deny or to pretend to them that you are “fine!”

Make this way of ‘emotionally being’ part of daily life as your child will watch you and it’ll really support their mental and emotional health

Along with their trust in you, their emotions and the authenticity of their relationship with you too.



Gratitude to Dinosaur