Inger Madsen: Helping families be happy again

Inger Madsen: Helping families be happy again Parenting an Anxious Teen:
Go from stress to strength in 6 months and build the resilient and supportive family you dream of.

I'm Inger and I help families be happy again. I do this by working with children and teenagers who are anxious or angry and whose parents have become afraid that this is more than just a phase or a normal part of childhood and growing up. Very often they've already tried to find help but without success. Through working with the child I help parents get their happy, well-adjusted child and their peace of mind back.

04/09/2025

We had ALL the tech trouble and sadly couldn't go live but here is the recording.
Enjoy!

04/09/2025

We had ALL he tech troubles and sadly couldn't go live but here is the recording.
Enjoy!

We check the weather before going outside. We check our fuel before a long journey. But do we check our own emotional st...
29/08/2025

We check the weather before going outside.
We check our fuel before a long journey.
But do we check our own emotional state before engaging with our anxious teen?

Here's the truth: When you don't feel emotionally steady, your teen's anxiety gets worse. Not because you're failing as a parent - because you're human.

Your nervous system joins their nervous system. And suddenly, you're both spiralling.

On September 9th at 18:30 - I'm hosting a free masterclass where I'll share the exact framework that helps parents become the calm, confident leader their anxious teen needs.

This isn't about having all the answers. It's about staying emotionally steady when everything around you feels chaotic.

Join "From Stress to Strength - Parenting an Anxious Teenager" and discover how to co-regulate instead of co-escalate.

Because when you learn to lead with emotional intelligence, you don't just help your teen - you transform your entire family dynamic.

Here's where to sign up: https://ingermadsen.com/strength-masterclass/

There’s a moment every conscious parent dreads:Your teen is spiralling. You want to help. And suddenly-you’re either sho...
27/08/2025

There’s a moment every conscious parent dreads:
Your teen is spiralling. You want to help. And suddenly-you’re either shouting, shutting down, or walking on eggshells.

You’ve read the books. You’ve tried the strategies. But nothing is shifting.

Because the real work? It starts with you. Not with doing more — but becoming more emotionally grounded.

Join me on 27 September for a powerful afternoon of clarity, connection, and practical tools.

This isn’t just another parenting workshop. This is the turning point.

The first 10 tickets are available for just £17! Sign up here: https://ingermadsen.com/empowered-parenting/

Feeling stuck with your struggling teenager? If you are tired of well-meaning advice that just doesn't work or of servic...
21/08/2025

Feeling stuck with your struggling teenager?
If you are tired of well-meaning advice that just doesn't work or of services that don't "get" your child... or of walking on eggshells while your teen pulls away...
You're not alone.

My FREE WayForward Consultation gives you:
✨ Clarity on the best path forward for your family
✨ A compassionate, judgement-free space to share your story
✨ Hope that real solutions exist
✨ Peace of mind about your next steps

Ready to find your way forward? https://calendly.com/ingermadsen/wayforward

They say as a therapist, you’re your own first client. And I can tell you - that first client of mine? She was a lot.She...
19/08/2025

They say as a therapist, you’re your own first client. And I can tell you - that first client of mine? She was a lot.

She couldn’t sleep when her child was sad. She’d jump in, fix it, soften it, rescue it... anything but let them struggle. Because their pain felt unbearable.

Why? Because my nervous system was hardwired for it. I'd created secure attachment for them and I believed my job was to attune, soothe, protect at all costs.
And then came adolescence.

And suddenly, the job changed - but no one told my protector parts. They were terrified: What if my child suffered like I did? What if I failed them like I was failed?

So when their pain showed up, so did mine. And before I knew it, I wasn’t parenting. I was over-functioning. Gripping. Guilt-ridden. Reacting.

And guess who I was talking to? Not my actual teenager. But their protector parts. Aggressive. Avoidant. Despairing. Round and round we went…

It was like When Harry Met Sally only this time, it was When My Protector Met Theirs… and let’s just say, no one was having what she was having.

Until I learnt the truth:
IFS (Internal Family Systems) taught me that we all have parts — protective inner responses we developed in childhood to shield us from pain. They’re not bad. They’re just scared. And they take over when we feel threatened.

In me? That looked like perfectionism. Fixing. Over-caring. In my teen? It looked like shutdown, aggression, or total despair.

It wasn’t parent and child anymore. It was part to part.

So I had to do the work of unblending from mine. To soothe my nervous system first. To lead from my grounded Self.

What does that look like?
- Pausing instead of reacting
- Asking: “Is this my wise Self or a scared part?”
- Leading with calm, curiosity and compassion

Here’s the truth: You can’t co-regulate with your child if you’re dysregulated by your own protector parts.

That’s what I teach inside Parent Like a Leader: Raise the Future. Because to help your child grow up, you have to stop parenting from the parts of you that didn’t. But if this post struck a chord and you want to talk through your specific family dynamic, let’s begin there.
You can book a free WayForward Consultation and we’ll explore what’s happening beneath the surface — and what’s possible beyond the power struggles.
👉 Book your free consultation here: https://calendly.com/ingermadsen/wayforward

05/08/2025

I remember a mum telling me: “My daughter came in 45 minutes past curfew. I stayed calm and said, ‘Where have you been?’ And she EXPLODED. Accused me of not trusting her. Said she was done talking. Slammed the door.”
Sound familiar?

I hope this video helps you realise that you aren't talking to your teen - you're talking to their PROTECTOR part.

IFS changed everything for me — and it will for you too. Learn to lead, not battle. Book a (free) WayForward Consultation today. https://calendly.com/ingermadsen/wayforward

“You’re actually not talking to your teenager anymore.”That realisation changed everything for me.I remember a mum telli...
28/07/2025

“You’re actually not talking to your teenager anymore.”
That realisation changed everything for me.

I remember a mum telling me: “My daughter came in 45 minutes past curfew. I stayed calm and said, ‘Where have you been?’ And she EXPLODED. Accused me of not trusting her. Said she was done talking. Slammed the door.”

Sound familiar?

What we need to realise as parents is this:
You’re not talking to your teenager anymore. You’re talking to a protector part.
In Internal Family Systems (IFS), these are the parts of us that show up when we feel threatened - to protect us from shame, fear, failure.

When your child hears “Where have you been?”, they feel “I’m bad. I’ve failed. I’m not safe.”
Boom - protector part steps in. Maybe it’s sarcasm. Maybe it’s angry deflection. Maybe it’s that sad little ‘poor me’ voice.

And suddenly, the conversation you thought you were having? Gone. Obscured. Replaced by a battle with a part.

If you match their energy, push harder, or try to reason with the part - you’ll get nowhere.
What works? Staying anchored in your own calm, curious Self. Speaking around the protector. Holding space until your real teen - the one who still wants connection - can return.

This is one of the most powerful shifts I teach inside my course, Parent Like a Leader: Raise the Future.

Because parenting a teenager isn’t about fighting harder - it’s about leading wiser.
Book a (free) WayForward Consultation and let’s talk: https://calendly.com/ingermadsen/wayforward

21/07/2025

They say as a therapist, you’re your own first client.
Well, I was.
Many years ago, I watched my children enter adolescence - and everything I thought I knew about parenting fell apart.
There were slammed doors, refusals, rudeness. And inside me? Sadness. Fear. Anger. Guilt.
I kept asking myself: “Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?”
I thought parenting meant smoothing it all over. I thought rescuing was love. If they were in pain, I took it as proof I had failed.
But here’s what I learnt:
Our teenagers don’t need rescuing. They need leadership.
They need us to stay calm when they can’t. To hold boundaries without shutting down connection. To lead with love - not fear.
It took work. Deep work. I became my own emotional detective. And eventually, I stopped repeating what I’d inherited.
Now that’s what I help other parents do, in my 121 work and through my course Parent Like a Leader: Raise the Future.
Because if you’re walking on eggshells, or stuck in cycles of guilt, reactivity, or disconnection - it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means it’s time to lead differently.
Book a (free) WayForward Consultation and let’s talk.
https://calendly.com/ingermadsen/wayforward

15/07/2025

They say as a therapist, you’re your own first client. And I was. I tried to love the pain out of my teenagers. Spoiler: it didn’t work. What they really needed? A parent who could lead. If your family is drowning in drama, it’s not too late to lead differently. Book a (free) WayForward Consultation today.
https://calendly.com/ingermadsen/wayforward

26/06/2025

Ever felt panicky just watching your teen spiral?

Anxiety isn’t just in the mind, it lives in the body too.

So when your child starts to unravel, it can hit something raw in you. That tight-chest, out-of-control feeling. The helplessness. The urge to rescue.

But what they need isn’t rescuing.

They need you to lead.

In my upcoming masterclass, Parenting an Anxious Teenager: From Stress to Strength, we’ll talk about how to regulate yourself so you can help them navigate the storm - without getting pulled under.

Tuesday 1st July, 18.30 BST

Let’s take the fear out of it - for both of you.

Earlier this month, I held two free online masterclasses and supported almost 50 parents who are navigating the often-ov...
26/06/2025

Earlier this month, I held two free online masterclasses and supported almost 50 parents who are navigating the often-overwhelming world of teenage emotions.

The feedback was incredibly encouraging. People found the sessions practical, grounding, and immediately useful. I’ve designed these masterclasses to give you tools you can use right away to shift your family dynamic.

If you couldn’t make it, I’m running both classes again in July:

Parenting an Anxious Teenager: Go from Stress to Strength
If you’ve ever felt helpless, overwhelmed, or exhausted trying to support your teenager’s emotions – this masterclass is for you.
🗓️ Date: Tuesday 1st July 2025
🕒 Time: 18:30 BST (60 minutes)
-
From Conflict to Connection: 3 Steps to Confident Parenting
If you feel stuck in a cycle of reactivity that leaves both you and your teenager drained, disconnected, and stressed – this is for you.
🗓️ Date: Thursday 3rd July 2025
🕒 Time: 18:30 BST (60 minutes)

These classes are free to attend and packed with insight, strategy, and support.
Whether you’re in the thick of teen overwhelm or just want to show up with more confidence and clarity, you’re very welcome to join one or both.

Address

Saffron Walden
CB102

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 8pm
Tuesday 9am - 8pm
Wednesday 9am - 8pm
Thursday 9am - 8pm
Friday 9am - 8pm
Saturday 9am - 12pm

Telephone

+441799500690

Website

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