30/01/2026
6 months.
184 days.
Half a year since you were here.
It feels like yesterday,
and somehow a lifetime ago.
My head and heart
no longer trust one another.
My head says, this is how it is.
My heart still refuses to believe it.
My head tries to console my heart.
But my heart keeps searching for you.
In the hard moments,
when breathing feels like work,
when the world spins
and everything aches…
And in the bright moments,
the unexpected sparks of joy,
the small returns of light…
It's you I reach for,
you I want to tell,
you I still look for
in every shadow and every light.
It's you I search for
in all of it.
It's you
I will always search for.
© Louise Neicho
It's been over a month since I've felt able to share anything. Christmas and New Year were harder than I thought they would be, and it's taken me a long time to find my footing. I still don't think I'm there yet.
I'm giving myself heaps of self-kindness and leaning on the beautiful people (and pup!) in my life who keep me upright. Honestly don't know where I'd be right now without them.
I'm sure I'll be back soon with more writing, but for now this is all I have to share.
Sending so much love and support to those going through similar. Although I don't know the details of your story, I know the depths of sadness the human heart is capable of, and I want you to know you're not alone.
May you find a way to be with it all. May you be gentle with yourself and may you find peace.
With love,
Louise x