Dr Heather Boland the Psychologist

26/07/2025

Your emotions aren't random.

The 3 systems model of Emotional
Regulation from Compassion Focused
Therapy can be used to help us to
understand ourselves.
Each of the three systems can be
activated by various things in our
environment, mind, and history. We need
the three systems to be balanced to feel
ue
Here are some soothing practices you can
try at home, especially if you feel your
Threat or Drive systems are overactive:

🌿 Slow, compassionate breathing – gentle, slower exhale to calm the nervous system.
🌿 Soothing touch – placing a hand over your heart or gentle self-hug.
🌿 Compassionate imagery – picturing a safe, kind presence or place.
🌿 Softening tone of voice – speaking kindly to yourself as if to someone you love.
🌿 Grounding with the senses – noticing gentle textures, sounds, and smells around you.
🌿 Warmth and comfort – wrapping in a blanket or holding a warm drink.
🌿 Connecting with others – seeking safe, caring connection or sharing kindness.

Take care

☀️🌙

*please read my pinned disclaimer post.

29/05/2025

Relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw, shake out your arms. Breathe deeply.

22/05/2025

Talking therapy just doesn't work for me.

Maybe. Or maybe your nervous system is stuck in threat/survival mode. Your body may be feeling tense, overwhelmed, withdrawn, irritable, or even numb. When your nervous system is constantly working to protect you from a real or perceived threat, trying to “think your way out” can feel frustrating or even shaming. You can feel stuck.

In Compassion Focused Therapy, we understand that healing and moving forward isn’t just about changing thoughts. We do talk about your thoughts, but we also explore your emotions and physical sensations. We try to bring compassion to you as a whole - we aim to soothe both mind and body.

Because when your body doesn’t feel safe, your mind can’t fully settle or feel comfortable.

Swipe through this carousel for more.

Follow me to learn more and allow me to help you to get unstuck.

Save this and share it to help others ☀️

Take care

17/05/2025

👉 Swipe for accounts that can help you to learn more about how to grow in self-compassion, reduce shame, and better understand why you feel, think, and act the way you do.

14/05/2025

I'm currently doing consistent content sprint challenge. Today's prompt is to share 5 things about ourselves. So here it is!

13/05/2025

Do you want to change any of your habits?

Which system do they relate to?

Follow to find out:
- more about the three systems,
- how you can make small changes to live life how you want to (not how your threat system tells you to!)
- and how you can treat yourself with a little more kindness.

But for now - can you think of a small habit you can begin today that can help you to feel soothed, relaxed and content?

02/04/2025

April is Autism Acceptance Month and today is Autism Awareness Day!

Here are the accounts that help me to be a better therapist supporting autistic people - thank you for the work you do 🙏




♥️ (a lovely psychologist I have the pleasure of knowing personally)




💬 Please share your favourite accounts supporting the autistic community in the comments section ☀️🌙

26/03/2024

It is normal to feel stressed or anxious some of the time. When we feel this way it likely means our brains and bodies have detected a threat or danger to our well-being (or they anticipate one to come) 🧠
This activates what you may know as the "fight or flight" response, otherwise known as the sympathetic nervous system. And this is normal and necessary 👏
We need threat/danger detection systems to keep us safe and well.
However, these systems can sometimes be too active or too dominating 🥴 An active threat system can alter the way you physically feel, emotionally feel, think, act, respond to stress and interact with others. For these reasons, plus many others, you may want to better regulate (or balance) your threat system.

💫 We can do this by regulating the nervous system...

But first - we need to notice what it feels like when the nervous system is dysregulated (unbalanced). Are you able to do this? 🤔 Ask yourself these questions:
❓️What does it feel like when you are stressed? How does your body feel when you are anxious? How do you react to others when you are feeling irritable? Do you ever withdraw and isolate yourself from friends when feeling overwhelmed by the demands of life? ❓️

What changes do you notice in your body, mind and emotions when you are reacting to threats, demands and stressors? 📝 Take a moment to consider this and share in the comments if that feels comfortable. Let's help each other ☀️ 🌙

05/03/2023

Hello👋 As well as individual therapy I offer a shorter service of 2 or 3 sessions to help you to explore who you are and to make sense of why you think, feel, and act how you do.
During this 'Formulation Creation' service we will link together the pieces of your life, experiences, relationships, coping strategies and much more in a psychological formulation. There are many ways to structure a formulation using various psychological models and approaches. We will find the right one to suit you.

Once you have this formulation you may better understand who you are and why you are the way you are 🫶 Does this sound helpful? Message me or visit my website to contact me and let's get started with a free consultation.

Video call or in-person appointments are available.

☀️The creation of a formulation always takes place at the beginning of therapy and sometimes creating the formulation is enough of an 'intervention' that therapy is not needed or wanted following it. There is no obligation to continue with therapy sessions with me following this 🌙

18/02/2023

Link is in the comments ☀️

17/02/2023

We can meet in person or online ☀ The screen does not have to be a barrier to connection in therapy. In fact, lots of therapists offer video call appointments because it works so well and it means we can support people who may find it hard to get to a therapy room or who do not live locally. Which would you prefer: face-to-face therapy or therapy via video call? 🌙

16/02/2023

Can you show yourself more kindness and compassion? Does that make you feel uncomfortable, maybe you feel a little disgusted at this idea? You are not alone in feeling that way. Therapy can help you with this...

Can you show yourself more kindness and compassion? Does that make you feel uncomfortable, maybe you feel a little disgusted at this idea? You are not alone in feeling that way. I offer Compassion-…