The Emotional Drinker

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Alcohol Harm-Reduction Coach | I help midlife & older women juggling career, home life, extended family like elderly parents while dealing with menopause cut back on nightly/binge drinking without shame | Wake up clear-headed, protect career & family

26/04/2026

Never too late. Never too old. Never too far gone.
Today I walked into Liverpool Hope University not just as a student… but as a woman whose continues rebuilding herself from the ground up.
Every step I’ve taken, every fall, every lesson — it all brought me here.
And this is just the beginning...
– valeriemoughan.com

10/04/2026

That voice in your head... what's it telling you today?

🌸 National Erase Self-Negativity Day
You can’t shame yourself into healing
Today is a reminder of something many women don’t realise…

👉 It’s not just what’s happening in your life
👉 It’s the voice in your head about it

And for many…
That voice is relentless

🍷 If You’re an Emotional Drinker

Let’s name the thoughts honestly:
“I’ve ruined everything anyway.”
“I may as well drink now.”
“I’ll never get this under control.”
“What’s the point in trying?”
“Other women can cope… why can’t I?”

👉 That voice doesn’t help you stop drinking
👉 It fuels the cycle

Because it creates:
Shame
Hopelessness
Emotional exhaustion
And when you feel like that…

👉 Of course you want relief
✨ A gentler way to respond

Instead of:
“I’ve failed again”
Try:
“I slipped… but I’m still trying”
Instead of:
“What’s the point?”
Try:
“What’s one small thing I can do today?”

👉 This isn’t about fake positivity
👉 It’s about removing the pressure that keeps you stuck

💔 If You’re an Estranged Mum or Gran

Your thoughts might sound like this:

“What did I do wrong?”
“I should have been a better mother.”
“Other families are fine… why isn’t mine?”
“Maybe I’ve lost them forever.”

Let me say this clearly:
👉 You didn’t wake up one day and decide to be a bad mother
You:
Loved
Tried
Showed up the best way you could at the time

✨ Let’s challenge the comparison

Those “perfect families” you see?
They argue
They disagree
They hurt each other
They just don’t always show it
👉 No family agrees on everything
👉 Ever

So comparing your life to someone else’s version of “perfect”…
👉 Is only hurting you more
✨ A kinder thought to hold onto
Instead of:
“I should have been better”
Try:
“I did the best I could with what I had then… and I’m still growing now”
👉 That’s not letting yourself off the hook
👉 That’s allowing yourself to heal instead of punish

🌿 A simple practice for today
When a negative thought comes in, pause and ask:
👉 “Would I say this to someone I love?”
If the answer is no…
👉 Don’t say it to yourself either

💛 Final Thought
Whether it’s alcohol…
or estrangement…
👉 The harsh voice in your head is not your truth
It’s a habit
And habits can change

✨ If this spoke to you
You’re not the only one thinking these thoughts…
and you don’t have to stay stuck in them
💬 Follow along for more honest conversations about:
Emotional drinking
Family relationships
Healing without shame
You’re still in the story… not at the end of it ❤️

09/04/2026

Today is National Alcohol Screening Day.

But let’s be honest…

Most women won’t relate to the word “screening.” it sounds clinical. It sounds serious. It sounds like it’s for “someone else.”

So let’s call it what it really is:

👉 A check-in with yourself.

You don’t need to be drinking every day.You don’t need to hit rock bottom.You don’t need a label.

Just a moment of honesty.

Ask yourself:

Am I drinking to relax… or to escape?

Do I feel better the next day… or worse?

Is alcohol helping me cope… or quietly adding to my stress?

Am I fully present in my life… or slightly numbed out?

Because for many women, it’s not just about alcohol.

It’s about:

Stress

Mental load

Loneliness

Hormones

Burnout

Carrying too much for too long

✨ Soon, I’ll be sharing a free Emotional Drinking Check-In Toolkit Something you can use privately, honestly, and without judgment.

It will include:

A simple emotional drinking self-check

Visual guides (units, calories, and how alcohol affects your body)

A “morning after” awareness guide (especially for driving)

Gentle tools to help you understand your habits — not shame them

You don’t need to panic.You don’t need to quit forever.

But you can get curious.

Because awareness is where change begins 💛

It’s not your drinking. It’s your thinking.

06/04/2026

This might land with some of you today 🤔

Rejection…

We’ve all felt it.

A relationship ends.

A job says no.

A family member pulls away.

And it hurts.

But here’s something I’ve learned…

Rejection isn’t always there to break you.

Sometimes, it’s there to wake you up.

✨ To a life that wasn’t working

✨ To habits that were hurting you

✨ To patterns that were quietly keeping you stuck

For many of us, rejection becomes a trigger.

A reason to shut down… or reach for a drink, a cigarette, food…or the phone 📱

You know the one…

“Ah here… you’ll never guess what’s just happened…” 😏

And while that might feel good in the moment,

it doesn’t always move us forward.

So what if, just for today, we paused and asked:

👉 What is this trying to show me?

Not in a blaming way.

Not in a shaming way.

But in a gentle, honest, curious way.

Because sometimes…

The very thing that hurts the most

Is the thing that leads us back to ourselves.

💛 Be kind to yourself today

💛 Be gentle with your story

💛 And trust that not all “no’s” are losses

Some are redirections.

— Valerie

The Emotional Drinker

05/04/2026

Today is International Day of Consciousness 🌍✨

So here’s a simple invitation…Wear your brightest clothes today.

Not for anyone else —but to wake yourself up.

Consciousness isn’t just thinking…it’s feeling.

It’s using your senses:🌸 Notice the colours around you🌿 Smell the air, the flowers, the fresh morning☀️ Feel the warmth on your skin🎶 Listen to the quiet, or the birds, or even the chaos🍓 Taste something slowly, properly

Step outside if you can…Look at the trees budding.The flowers pushing up through the soil.

Life is happening all around you —and so often, we miss it.

Today isn’t about being perfect.It’s about being present.

And sometimes…it starts with something as simple as wearing a dress that makes you feel like a stick of rock from Blackpool 💖

Wake yourself up to your own life today.

02/03/2026

Two days at the Addiction Professionals Conference – and what an experience it was.

This was my first time attending, and I genuinely didn’t know what to expect.
I left feeling inspired, challenged, emotional, hopeful… and very proud to be working in this field.

Some talks made me cry.
Some made me laugh.
A few managed to do both within the same ten minutes.

There were so many powerful speakers and conversations that it wouldn’t be fair to single out just one here — the depth of knowledge, honesty and courage in that room was something special.
What struck me most was this:
The compassion in the discussions
The willingness to explore difficult topics
The courage to challenge systems
And the reminder that addiction work is never “just clinical” — it’s deeply human
The venue was warm, welcoming and beautifully organised.
The food was gorgeous (always important!) and the atmosphere was kind, open and thoughtful.

I also loved seeing the creativity in the poster presentations — congratulations to the poster winner 👏 (photo below). It was inspiring to see such innovation and commitment to improving practice.

And for anyone who was there… yes, I was the one who asked during the AI discussion whether the watches came in anything other than black — preferably pink, or with a bit of bling.
The room erupted.
Worth it. Because if we’re going to integrate technology into care, we might as well make it human… and maybe even stylish.

Thank you to Addiction Professionals and the Royal College of General Practitioners for creating a space that blends science, policy, lived experience and heart.
Grateful to be in rooms like this. Grateful to be learning. Grateful to be building work that bridges clinical credibility and real-world compassion.
Onwards. 💫

26/11/2025

“If you ever start to miss me, remember this: I’m only as far away as you pushed me.”

25/11/2025

If you ever start to miss me, remember… I’m only as far away as you pushed me.
For every estranged mother carrying her suitcase of heartbreak — you’re not alone.

14/09/2025

When women thrive, communities raise...

14/07/2025

✨ We all want peace, healing, and happiness — but so often, we resist the discomfort that gets us there.
Letting go of what numbs us… changing habits… facing hard truths… it can feel like a kind of dying.

But here’s the truth:
✨ Every time you choose healing over hiding, you’re coming back to life.
And you don’t have to do it alone.

— Valerie Moughan, The Emotional Drinker

Address

Saint Helens
WA9

Telephone

+447810832518

Website

http://www.theemotionaldrinker.com/

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Valerie’s Story

I'm just a women who got a handle on my drinking, quit smoking and I'm currently losing weight and want to share the story of how I done and am still doing it to the world to whoever it will benefit