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Doctor Heidi Hand, Salisbury (2025)

16/08/2020

Let’s talk body image!
Most of us will have something about ourselves that we don’t particularly like or even really hate. Often it’s those parts of us that we spend the most time scrutinising. For example someone may dislike their stomach (believing it is too big or not flat enough) and spend ages staring at it in the mirror. The more we stare at it the more what we see moves away from our desired look. Or we might get a spot on our face and the more we focus on it the bigger it becomes until it is the only thing we see on our face and we believe it is the only thing others will see. But in reality nobody will probably notice.
When we focus heavily on one part of ourselves and judge it unfavourably our mind tends to distort what we see and feed the negative judgement. I’ve noticed IG is full of quotes ‘don’t believe everything you think’ so let’s add ‘don’t believe everything you see.’
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If you are spending more than a minute looking at and judging one part of you in the mirror try to scan the whole of you rather than just one part.
Try to avoid judgmental words such as (gross, ugly, fat) and describe objectively what is there (eg. Hair colour, eye colour, clothing).
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Please let me know your thoughts in the comments.

13/08/2020

We often hear the phrase practice makes perfect. I don’t love this phrase. Practice is really important for many things (see below for practice in therapy context) but striving for perfection is impossible. After all what is perfect ???

The models I use as a therapist often involve learning new skills. My ultimate goal as a therapist is to make myself redundant. If a client no longer needs me because they have their own skills then we know our work has been successful. But to develop skills takes practice. If you are trying something new as part of therapy or on your own it’s really important to practice practice practice. But remember you don’t have to do things perfectly. So take the pressure off and just do what you can. With a little repetition new skills can make a big difference.

07/08/2020

I’ve heard a few comments recently like “you’re a psychologist you have it all figured out” or “psychologists don’t suffer with mental health problems”. But in truth anyone can be vulnerable to mental health difficulties. It’s true that therapists are aware of different skills and strategies for supporting mental health challenges but that does not mean we are immune. In fact many psychologists and therapists see their own therapists and this does NOT make them any less skilled as a therapist!
I thought this was an important point to mention in raising awareness around mental health. Please let me know any thoughts in the comments.

03/08/2020

I’ve heard this phrase or something similar a lot lately and it brings up a few thoughts for me.
Sometimes when we experience strong emotions we get into a constant battle of wishing them away and do everything and anything we can not to ‘feel’. But in the end this can be exhausting and just make us feel worse. One of the things I’ve learnt as a therapist but also personally is that there are no good or bad feelings. Our feeling are there to guide us through life and feeling our feelings is key to a healthy life. I regularly talk with clients about looking at our emotions face on and learning ways to choose whether or not you spend time with that emotion in any given moment.
This phrase also makes me think about the process within therapy or any kind of healing. It’s really common for things to feel more difficult or more messy as you work through them. If you notice this try not to feel disheartened it really can be a sign of healing.
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments

30/07/2020

thank you for the nomination .leahkatz .unopenedbox . So proud to have connected with such amazing woman on this platform. You all do such amazing things.

27/07/2020

Just a little reminder that life doesn’t always go the way we planned...and that is ok.
In life we often face many knock backs which can be frustrating and make us want to give up on our goals. It’s happened to me many times. When I was training to be a psychologist things didn’t always go to plan but I kept going and got there in the end.
Sometimes we look ahead and the path to where we want to get to can feel overwhelming. Sometimes we get knocked off course or we have to take a different journey. But keep going because you can do it. Even if your journey is different to what you expected the outcome can be the same. Often our experience along the way is so valuable and makes us the person we are today.

21/07/2020

I’ve spent the morning in my mums garden (which is just beautiful). It reminded me about the importance of being present. I rarely take time to truly appreciate the beauty of her garden!
With everything going on in life it’s so common to get caught up in things that have happened or become consumed by things that might happen. I’m sure we’ve all had a moment in a conversation where we haven’t really paid attention to what someone has said or we have been driving to work and all of a sudden we are there without even realising. Whilst not being present is common it can come with some consequences. Generally the less present we are the more we can become cut off from people, we miss out on things and we tend to not do things as well.
Being truly present and paying attention is key to living a fulfilling life. But how do we do this. There are lots of ways but I like to think about being curious and open to your surroundings. Have you ever noticed how when a baby sees something for the first time it is mesmerised and observing with so much curiosity, really taking in every inch of the new object. We can try and apply that in our lives. At any moment take a look around you and observe with curiosity. Really pay attention and describe what is around you.
What are your thoughts on the benefits of being more present. Let me know in the comments.
Swipe for some more garden pics
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@ Salisbury, Wiltshire

19/07/2020

Values based living and being true to yourself is an important part of having a rich and meaningful life (in spite of all the challenges thrown our way).
By values based living I mean acting in line with your values. By values I mean who you want to be and what you want to stand for.
A helpful way to try to identify you values is to imagine its your 80th birthday and a close friend or family member is doing a speech for you. What sort of things would you hope that they might say about you. What sort of person would you like them to think of you as.
Values are different to goals they are more like the journey you take rather than the end point. Values are never ending. Once you have an idea of what you would like to stand for (whether it be being kind, being spontaneous, being assertive or anything else), any time you act check in with yourself and ask ‘is this in line with my values?’ This simple question really can be a helpful guide.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments

15/07/2020

The new normal: It’s ok to be feeling all kinds of things right now. There is no right way to feel as things start to ease/re open and become the “new normal”. Some people may be excited to return to “normal” and may have rushed out to shops and pubs at the first opportunity. While others may have actually found comfort in the lockdown and feel anxious about things changing. Remember however you are feeling right now.... if you feel it .... it is valid.
If would like to feel free to share your thoughts in the comments and anything you have found helpful throughout these strange times.
😷

14/07/2020

Really excited to have worked with .are.mindful on this post.
When we cut ourselves we would treat it straight away without even thinking about it. This is because we know we need to clean and cover it to avoid infection. This is essentially an act of self kindness.
But we often don’t think to reach for the plaster when it’s not a physical injury that we face. Whether it’s when we’re tired after a long day, struggling to meet our goals or having relationship difficulties.
Being kind to ourselves is not always easy and it definitely takes some practise but research has shown that self compassion and kindness can have huge benefits for our wellbeing (Kristen Neff has done significant research in this area). We often just don’t think to show ourselves this warmth.
There are lots of ways that we can be kinder such as choosing to do something just for joy, eating well, practising positive affirmations or even unplugging from social media!
What ways do you show self compassion?

10/07/2020

I was scrolling through past holiday pictures and came across these from a beautiful walk. I remember on that day just feeling really tired and throughout the walk just thinking about the destination. I also remember saying to my husband “shall we turn around now”. I’m so glad we didn’t because the views were amazing.
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This made me think of a few points.
*sometimes when we focus so heavily on the destination we don’t enjoy the journey.
*if you start something (a project, therapy or anything). There will likely be times when you want to give up. Take a break if needed, take one thing at a time but keep going. There will likely be some hard parts (like one of the giant hills or cliff edge we walked) but you can get there.
*our minds are constantly on the go coming up with different thoughts. The more we can truly focus on and observe the present moment the more we can live rich and meaningful alongside the inevitable obstacles thrown our way.
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Just a few reflections from me. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
Also swipe left for more picture from this beautiful part of Wales.
@ Salisbury, Wiltshire

06/07/2020

Coming to therapy can be scary (Check out my recent post on common concerns). I have regularly had people say something like “I was so worried you were going to think I’m crazy.”
For many people a therapy assessment is the first time they open up and that can be really daunting. Lots of people worry about being judged.
Rather than making judgements, here is what your therapist may be thinking:
‘I can tell they are suffering’
‘They are brave to open up’
‘I’m looking forward to working as a team’
Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Doctor Heidi Hand

16/08/2020

13/08/2020

07/08/2020

03/08/2020

30/07/2020

27/07/2020

21/07/2020

19/07/2020

15/07/2020

14/07/2020

10/07/2020

06/07/2020

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