06/10/2024
A few weeks ago, I lost my wonderful Grandfather, Louis, a man who always knew how to laugh in the face of adversity. His ability to find humour in life’s hardest moments inspired this post and reminded me of the importance of laughter, not just in grief, but in overcoming life’s many challenges. Laughter offers relief, a moment of connection, and a reminder that even when life feels heavy, there’s still light to be found.
I often think back to a joke my husband made a few years ago, during one of the most painful moments of grief for us both. He knew it was worth saying, after all, things couldn’t have felt much worse, and even now, it still makes me laugh. That moment of humour didn’t take away our pain, but it lightened the load for a brief time and reminded us we weren’t facing it alone. It helped us feel connected in a way that words couldn’t.
Research shows that laughter is not only good for mental health but is one of the most important tools for building resilience. It reduces stress, releases endorphins, and helps us gain perspective, making it easier to face challenges head-on. A study in The American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine called 'The Laughter Prescription, A Tool for Lifestyle Medicine', shows that laughter reduces anxiety and depression while boosting overall mood and resilience. It helps us think more clearly, handle adversity better, and cope more effectively with whatever life throws at us.
In therapy, I can't protect my clients from all the challenges they may face in life, but I can help build their resilience. Humour, in my view, is perhaps the most powerful tool in our resilience armory. When we laugh, we tap into our strength and ability to keep going. This resilience ripples out to others, creating a sense of hope and connection that extends beyond the individual. The impact of that strength touches families, friends, and communities.
That said, there’s a growing victim mentality in our culture today, and it’s something we need to work to eradicate if we are to improve our resilience, mental health, and relationships. While it’s crucial to acknowledge and validate our struggles, getting stuck in a mindset that focuses solely on hardship can limit our ability to move forward and grow stronger. Like my Grandfather Louis showed me, strength and resilience are admirable assets - qualities that I strive to teach my clients, all while offering deep care, empathy, and love during their times of suffering.
Inspired by Louis, I embrace humour within the counselling space. Therapy doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom as it’s often imagined to be, and I aim to break away from the stereotype of a constantly stoic, overly serious therapist. Laughing at myself with my clients helps to level the playing field, ease tension, and create a space where we can be real and human with each other. Humour is an essential part of building resilience, and just as it has helped to carry me through my own pain, it can be a powerful force for healing. Laughter, combined with vulnerability, creates a balance that fosters true healing and lasting strength.
To my dear Grandad, here’s to you. You’ve shown me that strength isn’t about never feeling pain, but about facing it with courage, love, and a smile. You passed the gauntlet to the rest of us, and I will carry it forward, using what you’ve taught me to help others heal and grow. Your spirit, your laughter, your love and your resilience live on.
