Ellie Belfield Counselling

02/02/2026

Pi**ed.

It was me this whole time??? Acting like I didn't mind when inside I was raging?

Damnit.

02/02/2026

I know it's hard.

You feel put on the spot, the conditioned social pressure to be a "yes" person so that everyone likes you.

So that they don't think you don't care about them.

You can care about someone and say "no" at the same time.

Real relationships are about mutual understanding, give and take, authenticity.

01/02/2026

Many of us say yes when we mean no because somewhere along the way we learnt that being liked = being safe.

So we override our own feelings, minimise our needs and manage other people’s emotions.

Healing looks like:

• listening to your body
• naming your needs
• letting others feel disappointed
• staying with yourself anyway

Let me know when you're ready to work through it 🩷

01/02/2026

"If we don't tell people how we feel, how will they know?"

It's not fair to hold our resentments against others if we haven't communicated our needs in the first place.

29/01/2026

You might have already noticed from my text posts that boundaries, undoing people-pleasing and learning to work with your high sensitivity is at the core of the work we will do together.

If you've found yourself reading through my carousels and thinking:

"it me."

Then we'd most likely be a perfect fit working together.

Book a free 1:1 intro call to talk about how therapy can work for you.

27/01/2026

When AI chat tools first came along, they seemed like a godsend for neurodivergent folk: finally, a live-in manual for how to interact with others.

For those of us who struggle with how to say the "right" thing, running our responses by someone else can feel like the safer thing to do than letting ourselves feel vulnerable and at risk.

But ChatGPT isn't someone else, it's an AI machine with foundations in self-protection at all costs.

The ideas might be well meaning, but relying on it risks emotional repression and dependence upon AI.

In therapy we start to understand that the goal isn't to always know how to say the perfect thing, it's to be able to have real relationships with other humans where we feel safe to express ourselves authentically.

Real relationships do rupture and repair, they have conflict, they don't just hide and avoid, hide and avoid.

What would it be like to risk "getting it wrong"?

When you're ready to build real-world emotional resilience and experience greater human connection, my door is open.

24/01/2026

For those of us with brains that don't just "switch off" when suggested we do so, these phrases we often hear out in the wild can be abrasive to our sense of selves.

"Chill out!" feels more like a smack in the face than a relaxing tactic.

If only it were that easy!!

Am I wrong or broken that I can't switch off?

Absolutely not.

For the Highly Sensitive and the neurodivergent, many of us can struggle with constant inner monologues that assess, unpick and ruminate over situations again and again.

Luckily, there is another way.

(And no, it isn't me telling you to just stop thinking about it.)

In therapy, I will help you to start seeing your "overthinking" mind as an actual superpower that's really adept at giving you warning signs about what works for you.

You'll start to understand how to allocate *helpful* and meaningful time for reflection, to then be able to practice techniques like parking it and relaxing.

It is a part of who you are, but it doesn't have to be curse.

22/01/2026

There's a common misconception that the phrase "I don't mind" makes us seem easy-going, flexible and ~nice~.

Actually? It just asks the other person to do the emotional and organisational labour for us.

Of course there are times where you genuinely do not mind. But try to catch yourself next time this phrase slips out - am I overextending / bypassing the thought of what I actually want, or could this be a good opportunity to give clarity on what works for me?

It minimises second-guessing in relationships if we get clearer about our needs. It strengthens connection as we find out the other person also hates overstimulating environments and wants to have their pjs on in time to watch the Traitors.

Boundaries aren't about being harsh, they're about helping us to understand each other better and minimise confusion.

20/01/2026

It can happen in friendships, between family members and romantically.

We hold on to the best versions of the relationship and wait for those days to magically return.

Not recognising that we ourselves are contributing to the lack of equality by overcompensating.

By not having boundaries, we've been training people to assume we don't care if they never call us back, or say things that make us feel sad.

We take full responsibility for our emotions AND do the work of making excuses for their behaviour, without ever expressing the impact it has on us.

Without giving the relationship chance to adapt before we are burnt out and it feels impossible to retreat.

This isn't about villainising other people, it's about taking responsibility for what works for us in adult relationships.

It's about learning key communication skills, acknowledging our own feelings, and understanding how to feel safe in our own bodies without the need for crumbs of external validation.

Resonate?

I have two spaces for clients starting this February, contact me through DM or my Counselling Directory - link in profile - to start your journey.

19/01/2026

Ever been told you're "possessive" for not wanting to share your favourite belongings?

Or "selfish" because you said no to something that was phrased as a question, rather than a demand.

Those experiences can be damaging to your sense of self, and it doesn't mean those traits are true.

When people can't accept our boundaries, it can be easier for them to make it a YOU problem.

Being sensitive souls, we can internalise this and start to feel really bad about ourselves.

Guilty, mean, inconsiderate.

The truth is - you're not rude for having limits.

You're not unkind because you say no sometimes.

And the idea that you are ungenerous for having those limits is manipulative and keeps benefiting the other person while you feel unseen.

When the loss of a relationship is dangled as a punishment for you having boundaries, it can feel really scary to start setting them.

Through therapy together, we'll help you to stop taking sole responsibility for other people's feelings, and advocate for yourself like never before.

09/01/2026

Food for thought - have we let boundaries and protecting our peace go too far?

How might it be to let go of the small stuff, to push through discomfort and see what's on the other side.

Disclaimer: I don't do ice baths.

Yet!!😏 🧊

30/12/2025

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