ELM Counselling Services

26/04/2025

24/04/2025

Does this resonate?

13/03/2025

01/03/2025

Dysfunctional family systems can create scapegoats.

It's easier to place the blame on the scapegoat as the one with the issue rather than accept the issue with the dysfunctional system.

Counselling can help you recognise this pattern or system and your place in it. Painful but rewarding work.

Please do get in touch if this resonates with you.

When a dysfunctional behavior has taken place for so long that it becomes the "norm" in a culture (a family culture, a work culture, a religious culture), the first person who calls that dysfunction out-who brings it into the light and demands that it change-is often scapegoated as "the problem."

Not just by the perpetuator of the problem behavior, but by all those who have silently accommodated it up till this point.

"Could you not make a fuss?"
"You're being so sensitive."
"Don't rock the boat."

These situations can be particularly challenging because they make us question our reality.

It takes an incredible amount of courage to be the one who dissents. If you can relate to this, remember: sometimes people are accustomed to upholding systems-even systems that harm them-because they're familiar, and they're all they know.

If you speak the truth and you're met with backlash, dismissal, and scapegoating, you're job isn't to convince or strong-arm. Your job is to create safety for yourself with boundaries KNOWING you stood in your integrity.

30/12/2024

I stumbled across this picture and it really resonated. Grief for whatever reason has no time limit and nor should it.
Grief, as with all deep emotions, is unique to the individual..
Anyone who feels they need to 'get through' grief or 'just get on with it' are, in all likelihood, suppressing that emotion.
Grief and loss, whatever the reason, needs to be heard and felt. Grieving is hard work and there are no shortcuts.
If you are struggling with your grief please get in touch. Counselling can help. I offer a safe, non judgemental space for you to explore that grief and loss, whether recent or not, and whatever else it may have triggered.
Please get in touch. I am here to sit with you on this journey. Confidentially and with empathy and understanding.

03/11/2024

This is really poignant x

04/07/2024

Worth reading.
If any of this resonates and you would like to explore further please contact me.

For a Narcissist, Money is a source to achieve status and power. They need to impress other people with their 'perfect' life and money is a good way to do this.

27/06/2024

Does this resonate with anyone?
If so some counselling can help.
Please do contact me to discuss whether counselling is right for you.

19/02/2024

I found this very moving. It is ok to not feel ok and really helpful and important to talk to some one about it - family, best friend or counsellor. What ever helps.

“Piglet?” said Pooh.
“Yes Pooh?” said Piglet.
“Do you ever have days when everything feels... Not Very Okay At All? And sometimes you don’t even know why you feel Not Very Okay At All, you just know that you do.”
Piglet nodded his head sagely. “Oh yes,” said Piglet. “I definitely have those days.”
“Really?” said Pooh in surprise. “I would never have thought that. You always seem so happy and like you have got everything in life all sorted out.”
“Ah,” said Piglet. “Well here’s the thing. There are two things that you need to know, Pooh. The first thing is that even those pigs, and bears, and people, who seem to have got everything in life all sorted out... they probably haven’t. Actually, everyone has days when they feel Not Very Okay At All. Some people are just better at hiding it than others.
“And the second thing you need to know... is that it’s okay to feel Not Very Okay At All. It can be quite normal, in fact. And all you need to do, on those days when you feel Not Very Okay At All, is come and find me, and tell me. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide the fact you’re feeling Not Very Okay At All.
Always come and tell me. Because I will always be there.”❤️

~Credit: A.A. Milne.
Illustrator by EH Shepard~

07/12/2023

Useful to read and reflect on.
If any of this resonates and you feel some counselling would help then do please contact me..

29/11/2023

This is clear and concise.