Anna Armentano Psychologist

09/10/2025

Let’s stop the blaming culture!

Finger-pointing, scapegoating, blackmailing, or victimising families and children is NOT okay.

No child is born naughty, disruptive, lazy, or disrespectful.

Behaviour is a message, a sign of an unmet need that a child doesn’t yet know how to express.

Punitive, rigid, or overly strict approaches don’t “fix” behaviour.
They only fuel anger, frustration, and resentment, often leading to explosive outcomes.

If you recognise these behaviours in your child, please reach out for help.

Don’t wait! Prevention is the best form of treatment. ❤️

03/10/2025

Thank you to everyone who attended the meeting last night. It was very helpful to hear your stories and, more importantly, knowing that in this journey.

I've spoken to Caroline and we would like to start 2 support groups, one for parents/carers/grandparents and one for children/young adults.

Watch this space for updates and invite other friends, families or neighbours that couldn't attend last night. Thank you 🙏

28/09/2025

*Topic chosen by you: Mobile Applications.

Parent-focused explanation about why mobile app age recommendations matter and the risks for children accessing unsuitable apps, including possible emotional, psychological, and social consequences:

📱 Mobile app age ratings (like PEGI, 13+, or App Store ratings) are designed to help parents and guardians understand:

Content appropriateness, whether the app includes violence, sexual themes, profanity, gambling, or other mature topics.

Privacy considerations, whether the app collects personal data, tracks location, or has in-app purchases that may target children.

Complexity and developmental fit, whether the app is designed for a child’s cognitive, emotional, and social stage.

Ignoring these recommendations can expose children to content or interactions they are not emotionally equipped to handle.

⚠️ Risks and dangers of unsuitable apps for children: exposure to inappropriate content.

Violence, horror, or graphic imagery can cause fear, anxiety, or desensitization.

Sexual content or suggestive themes can confuse children and affect healthy development.

➡️ Online predators & unsafe interactions:

Apps with chat functions or multiplayer features can allow strangers to contact children.

Grooming, manipulation, or cyberbullying are risks if privacy controls are not set.

Addiction and overuse:

Many apps are designed to be addictive (endless scrolling, rewards).

Children may struggle to regulate screen time, affecting sleep, focus, and mood.

Privacy violations:

Children may unknowingly share personal information or location data.

Some apps collect data for advertising, raising security concerns.

In-App purchases and financial risk:

Children may make accidental purchases, leading to unexpected expenses.

Gambling-like mechanics (loot boxes, microtransactions) may encourage risky behavior.

Misinformation & unrealistic expectations:

Apps can promote harmful beauty standards, dangerous challenges, or fake news.

This can distort self-image and affect mental health.

🧠 Possible emotional and psychological consequences:
Anxiety or Fear, exposure to scary or violent content can lead to nightmares, hypervigilance, or avoidance behaviors.

Aggression or Desensitization, constant exposure to violence may normalize aggression or reduce empathy.

Low Self-Esteem, social comparison on apps (like social media) can cause feelings of inadequacy or depression.

Behavioral Issues, overuse can cause irritability, impulsivity, or attention problems.

Addictive Tendencies, dopamine-driven app design can set patterns for compulsive behavior later in life.

👨‍👩‍👧 Recommendations for parents:
Check App Ratings Before Downloading.
Use App Store/Google Play age ratings and read user reviews.

Use Parental Controls. Enable restrictions on app downloads, purchases, and screen time.

Test the App Yourself. Experience it before allowing your child to use it.

Talk Openly. Discuss online safety, privacy, and what to do if they see something upsetting.

Model Healthy Digital Habits. Children imitate adult behavior; balanced use sets a good example.

👇Here is a list of apps you must be aware of. Enlarge the image to read the risks for each one of them...

26/09/2025

Some reflectiond about and

Labeling and punishing children for their behavior can cause long term harm, reinforcing negative beliefs about themselves and shutting down their willingness to cooperate. A more compassionate, understanding, and curious approach leads to much better outcomes. Here's a guide to turn this perspective into positive action:

1. Shift the mindset
From: “This child is naughty/lazy/disrespectful/disruptive.”

To: “This child is communicating an unmet need, big emotion, or skill gap.”

This shift opens the door for curiosity and problem-solving rather than judgment.

2. Instead of reacting immediately: take a breath and notice what just happened.

Ask yourself:
What might my child be feeling right now?

What need is this behavior expressing?

What skill is missing that I can help them build?

3. Get down to their level physically.

Use a calm tone and open body language.

Validate feelings before discussing behavior:

“I can see you’re frustrated. That must feel really hard.”

When a child feels seen and heard, they’re more likely to engage in finding a solution.

4. Instead of punishment (which teaches fear or resentment), focus on teaching:

Problem-solving:
“What can we do next time when we feel angry?”

Emotional regulation:
Show calming techniques like deep breathing or taking a break.

Repair:
Help them make amends if they hurt someone (“Would you like to write them a card or say sorry?”).

5. Acknowledge their efforts and identity:

“You are learning how to calm your body.”

“You worked so hard to solve that problem.”

“You are kind and thoughtful, I saw how you helped your friend.”

This strengthens a child’s sense of capability and belonging.

6. Model what you want to see because children learn through watching.

Show respect, patience, and accountability even when you make mistakes.

Saying: “I was frustrated earlier, and I spoke too loudly. I’m sorry. I’ll try to be calmer next time,” teaches responsibility far more than lectures.

7. Invite children to be part of the process (collaborate):

“What would help you remember to do your homework?”

“How can we make mornings less stressful?”

When they have a voice, they are more likely to follow through.

8. Focus on long term growth because behavior is a skill-building opportunity.

The goal is to raise emotionally intelligent, resilient, and compassionate adults NOT simply compliant children.

➡️ If really struggling, seek professional support because early intervention is key to positive changes because

25/09/2025

Today, I met with Caroline in preparation of the meeting next week. Please come down to listen to what we've to say but, more importantly, we want to listen to your experiences. 💯

Join Us: A Community Conversation on School Avoidance
📅 Thursday, 2nd October 2025
📍 Beighton Miners Welfare
🕕 6:00 – 8:00 PM

We are calling on families, children, and our wider community to come together, united, to talk about school avoidance.

It too often takes a tragedy to bring change. This time, we want to see national changes in education — in Harvey’s name — representing all children who are struggling and whose voices are not being heard.

We believe in a system that promotes education in a way that works for every child. We are asking to end the culture of blaming and punishment, which only creates more barriers and defensiveness.

This is not just a conversation, it’s a call for action. Together, we can push for real, meaningful change. Because ✅

21/09/2025

*Read with care. 🙏
Talking about Su***de Prevention.

It’s crucial to talk about su***de, and raising awareness during World Su***de Prevention Month (September) is a vital part of saving lives.

🆘 Why talking about su***de is important?
1) Breaking the stigma: su***de and mental health are often taboo topics. Open conversations make it easier for people to seek help.

2) Early intervention: discussing feelings can uncover struggles before they escalate.

3) Saving lives: awareness leads to action. People are more likely to support friends, family, and themselves.

➡️ Why focusing on men?
Higher su***de rates: statistically, men are more likely to die by su***de than women, even though women may attempt more often.

Cultural norms: traditional masculine norms can discourage men from expressing vulnerability or asking for help.

Encouraging emotional openness: men can talk about feelings and struggles without fear of judgment. Normalizing this is life saving.

⛔ Being aware of warning signs can help intervene early.

Changes in behavior: withdrawal from social life, loss of interest in activities, or drastic lifestyle changes.

Emotional signs: expressions of hopelessness, anger, irritability, anxiety, or deep sadness.

Verbal cues: statements like “I can’t go on,” “I wish I was dead,” or “Nobody cares about me.”

Behavioral cues: giving away possessions, reckless behavior, or preparing for death (writing letters, saying goodbye).

Desensitizing: actively searching for ways of ending their lives. Visiting a train station over and over again as a way to desensitize the brain to the pain of wanting to jump on the track.

📅 Intentionality & Planning.
Suicidal ideation ranges from fleeting thoughts to concrete plans:

Passive ideation: wishing to die but without active planning.

Active ideation: thinking about specific methods, times, or places.

Planning: the person has a method and may have taken steps toward action.
Recognizing intentionality is key. Someone with a detailed plan is at high risk and needs IMMEDIATE Help.

✅Prevention and Support.
Open conversation: ask directly about suicidal thoughts; it DOESN'T increase risk.

Encourage professional help: therapists, counsellors, or doctors are trained in su***de prevention.

Increase your support network: friends, family, or peer support groups.

Resources:
Sheffield Urgent and Crisis Service at 0114 226 3636 (or the Single Point of Access at 0808 196 8281).
For the Crisis Resolution Home Treatment Team, call 0114 226 2487 (during the day) or 0114 271 6310 (out of hours service).

UK: 999 or dial 111 and press option 2 to be connected with the Mental Health Team.

UK: Samaritans 116 123 (for emotional support only, NOT in case of an emergency).

Andy's Man Club every Monday 7/9pm info@andysmanclub.co.uk

👌Key takeaway: Men can and should talk about their feelings. Raising awareness, recognizing warning signs, and encouraging support are not signs of weakness, they’re life-saving actions. Every conversation matters. 🩵

***de ***deprevention

18/09/2025

A tragedy has shaken our city. 15-year-old Harvey Willgoose was killed at school earlier this year. An event that has left families, pupils and staff asking how this could happen and what must change.

I was interviewed by ITV News to discuss what schools, parents and communities need now: immediate, trauma-informed support for pupils and staff; clear plans for prevention and de-escalation; earlier mental health intervention; and long term support for those living with loss and traumatic grief.

This is not about blame! This is about learning, protecting children, and giving every child the chance to feel safe at school as much as taking their concerns seriously.

▶ Watch the full interview

If this story affects you: please reach out for support (see pinned comment). If you work in a school or local services and want to talk about trauma informed practice, contact my clinic to arrange an initial consultation.

Anna Armentano
Child & Educational Psychologist
EMDR Practitioner (Sheffield).

16/09/2025

Apologies to everyone that kindly connected at 6pm on ITV NEWS and didn't see the interview (it wasn't on for some reasons, even though, I was informed otherwise).

Here is the link (4th minute)! 😅

Watch the latest from ITV News - Watch the latest ITV News Calendar

16/09/2025

Tune in at 6pm on ITV NEWS tonight to listen to my interview talking about 😊

Don't worry if you can't as I'll be sharing the link as soon as it's available.


https://www.itv.com/news

15/09/2025

Back to topics "chosen by you," exploring "peer pressure in education."

1. What is peer pressure in the educational context?
Peer pressure is the influence exerted by members of a person’s peer group (friends, classmates, colleagues, or social circle) that leads the person to change their attitudes, values, or behaviors in order to conform to group norms or gain acceptance.

Key points:
Direct Peer Pressure > When peers explicitly encourage certain behavior (e.g., "Come on, just skip class!").

Indirect Peer Pressure > When students feel they must conform to group norms to fit in, even if no one asks them directly (e.g., wearing certain brands, copying popular trends, staying quiet in class, etc.).

It is especially strong during adolescence, when social acceptance and belonging are highly important for identity development.

2. Which one are the main causes of peer pressure?
Desire for Belonging: Children and teens are developing their identity and seek acceptance from peer groups.

Fear of Rejection: Students may adopt group behaviors to avoid being excluded or bullied.

Social Media Influence: Online platforms amplify what is "cool" or socially rewarded.

Lack of Self-Confidence: Students who are unsure of themselves are more vulnerable to peer influence.

School Culture: Highly competitive or cliquish school environments can increase conformity pressure.

3. Emotional and psychological needs behind peer pressure.
Peer pressure often meets deeper emotional needs:

Acceptance & Belonging: Being part of a group provides security and social identity.

Recognition & Approval: Students want validation that they are "good enough."

Autonomy & Independence: Paradoxically, conforming to peers can feel like asserting independence from adults.

Curiosity & Exploration: Adolescents naturally explore boundaries, and peer influence can push them further.

4. Easy steps for parents/carers.
Parents/carers can play a major role in buffering negative peer pressure and reinforcing positive influence:

a) Build Emotional Connection

Maintain open communication. Listen without immediately judging.

Show empathy when children share struggles with peers.

Spend quality time so children feel supported and valued at home.

b) Teach Critical Thinking & Decision-Making

Role-play scenarios where they might face peer pressure.

Help them weigh consequences before acting.

Encourage independent thinking and self-reflection.

c) Strengthen Self-Esteem

Praise effort rather than just results.

Support their interests, hobbies and talents. This gives them confidence outside of peer validation.

Teach them to celebrate their uniqueness.

d) Model Healthy Behavior

Demonstrate how to stand up for values and set boundaries respectfully.

Show that it’s okay to say "no" politely and walk away from negative influences.

e) Collaborate with Schools

Engage with teachers and school counsellors to stay informed about the school’s social environment. Challenge for policies to be reviewed if no longer fitting the children's needs.

f) Seek Support

Never struggle alone. Teach your child that it is okay to ask for help, to reach out to professionals that are able to validate your feelings and support you in overcoming your difficulties.

14/09/2025

As I was listening to this song, I thought about, how often, the theme of being "stuck" comes up in therapy, in life, in love and so on... Here are a few reflective points and simple strategies.

Feeling "stuck" can be one of the most frustrating human experiences: emotionally, psychologically, and even physically. Whether it’s about love, work, therapy, or life in general, the sense of not moving forward often triggers anxiety, hopelessness, or self-doubt. Let’s break this down and then look at strategies for moving through it.

🔍 Psychological & Emotional Meaning of Feeling Stuck
1. Loss of Agency
Feeling stuck often signals a perceived lack of control. You may feel like external events (other people’s choices, timing, circumstances) are dictating your life, leaving you powerless.

2. Ambivalence & Fear
You might unconsciously be resisting movement forward because change feels risky. For example:

In love, staying in limbo can feel safer than risking rejection or heartbreak.

In life, staying where you are can feel safer than making a leap that could "fail."

3. Unprocessed Emotions
Sometimes stuckness is the mind’s way of saying: "We need to slow down." You may be avoiding grief, anger, or disappointment which, once processed, can free up energy to move forward.

4. Identity Crisis or Transition
Feeling stuck often happens when your old ways of being no longer fit, but the "new you" hasn’t fully formed. This is common during breakups, career changes, or major life transitions.

➡️ Strategies & Recommendations
1. Name the Stuckness
Write down where you feel stuck (love, career, therapy, etc.).

Explore whether it’s internal (fear, indecision) or external (real constraints).

Sometimes simply naming it reduces its power.

2. Shift from Passive to Active
Even small choices build a sense of agency:

Change your daily routine.

Try micro-actions toward your goal (send one message, research one option).

Celebrate any forward motion.

3. Work with the Body
Try somatic techniques: deep breathing, shaking, dancing, stretching to release "frozen" energy.

Notice where in your body you feel stuck (chest, stomach, jaw) and gently soften those areas.

4. Identify Underlying Fears
Ask:

"If I moved forward, what’s the worst thing that could happen?"

"What would I lose if this problem was gone?"
Often fear of the unknown keeps you looping in familiar pain.

5. Reframe Stuckness as a Signal
Instead of seeing it as failure, view it as information:

What might this pause be teaching me?

Is it time to slow down, grieve, or reevaluate priorities?

6. Use Time-Bound Experiments
Instead of demanding total change, try:

"For the next 30 days, I will try X."

This creates movement without the overwhelm of permanent decisions.

7. Therapeutic Techniques
CBT: Challenge catastrophic or hopeless thoughts.

Narrative Therapy: Rewrite your story about being "stuck" see yourself as in a chapter of transformation.

Parts Work (IFS): Talk to the part of you that’s resisting change. What does it need to feel safe?

8. Invite Support
Feeling stuck can be isolating. Seek professional support. Sometimes, being witnessed helps you regain perspective.

Yxng Ched covers Lionel Richie's 1984 smash hit "Stuck On You" Filmed by Gary Riley Photography.

12/09/2025

Every 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐇𝐂𝐏 starts with clear, professional evidence. A 𝐩𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 ensure your child’s needs are fully understood.

📩 Free 20min consultation available — link in bio.
(Information only — not legal advice)

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