Counselling Therapy Sheffield

14/10/2025

Stress is the body’s natural survival response, a biological alarm that prepares us to face challenges. When a stressful event occurs, the brain’s amygdala signals the hypothalamus to activate the sympathetic nervous system, releasing adrenaline and cortisol to increase heart rate, sharpen focus, and provide energy for “fight or flight.” This response is healthy and adaptive in short bursts. However, when stress becomes chronic, the same system remains switched on, flooding the body with stress hormones that disrupt nearly every major function. Prolonged cortisol elevation can impair memory and concentration, weaken the immune system, raise blood pressure, increase blood sugar levels, and alter digestion. Over time, this constant state of alertness, called allostatic load, contributes to conditions such as anxiety, depression, heart disease, diabetes, digestive issues, reproductive problems, and chronic pain. Stress also affects the brain’s structure, reducing gray matter in areas linked to emotion regulation and decision-making, and increasing activity in regions that heighten fear and threat perception.

Chronic stress does more than just affect mood; it reshapes how the body functions at a cellular level. It disrupts hormonal balance, increases inflammation, and even influences gene expression, potentially accelerating aging and disease progression. People experiencing long-term stress may feel constantly tired, irritable, or tense without realizing the physical strain their body endures. Yet, stress itself isn’t entirely negative, it becomes harmful only when it is constant and unmanaged. Learning to regulate it through mindfulness, therapy, exercise, breathing techniques, and social support can help the body recover and restore balance. Managing stress not only improves emotional well-being but also protects the brain, heart, immune system, and metabolism, reminding us that emotional care is physical care, too.

Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only. I do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of this information. It is shared to promote awareness and understanding, not to replace professional medical or psychological advice.

21/09/2025

First time Maya said “no” to her best friend, she felt a knot in her stomach. Not because she didn’t love her friend, but because for years she had been the “yes” person. The one who always showed up, even when she was running on empty.

That night, instead of going to another dinner she didn’t have the energy for, Maya stayed home. She made tea, read a book, and for the first time in a long while, she actually felt… at peace. She realized something important, saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you care enough about yourself to listen to your limits.

Boundaries aren’t walls to keep people out. They’re doors that let love, respect, and connection in, while protecting your energy, time, and wellbeing. It took Maya a while to understand that setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s healthy. And the people who truly value you will respect them.

So, if you’ve been feeling guilty for putting yourself first, remember this, your needs matter too. Saying no sometimes is really saying yes to yourself.

21/09/2025

21/09/2025

Anxiety is not just worrying too much. It’s not simply restlessness, panicking, or overthinking.

1. It’s waking up with your heart racing, even though nothing has happened yet.
2. It’s your chest feeling so tight you struggle to take a deep breath.
3. It’s replaying conversations in your head for hours, searching for mistakes you didn’t even make.
4. It’s being exhausted but unable to sleep, because your mind refuses to turn off.

Anxiety can make you question your worth, your safety, and even your future. And the hardest part? From the outside, it often looks invisible. People may say “calm down” or “don’t stress,” without realizing you’ve already tried that a thousand times today.

If you live with anxiety, please know this: you’re not weak, dramatic, or broken. You’re human. You’re navigating something heavy and real, and that takes courage every single day.

If this resonates, let it be a reminder, you deserve understanding, support, and compassion.

16/09/2025

Shame is more damaging than failure.

Failure teaches.
Shame silences.

After trauma, many people don’t just carry the event itself — they carry the shame that follows. And it shows up in ways we don’t always recognise.

💡 8 Ways Shame Shows Up After Trauma:

❌ People pleasing → Ignoring your own needs.
❌ Terrified of mistakes → Paralysed by fear of failure.
❌ Embarrassed about being “different.”
❌ Feeling guilty for expressing emotions.
❌ Imposter syndrome → “I don’t belong here.”
❌ Feeling unworthy of love or kindness.
❌ Reverting to a childlike state in conflict.
❌ Needing to be perfect to feel safe.

16/09/2025

Sometimes, your body says “no” long before your mind does.

It whispers at first, a tightness in your chest, a heaviness in your limbs, a knot in your stomach. It might show up as headaches that never seem to go away, constant fatigue no amount of sleep can fix, or that unshakable feeling of dread you can’t quite name.

These are not random inconveniences. They are messages. Your body’s way of saying: “I’m overwhelmed. I need rest. I need you to listen.”

But often, we push through. We silence those signals with coffee, distractions, or sheer force of will because we feel we “should” keep going. Until one day, the whispers become screams, burnout, panic attacks, illness.

Learning to recognize when your body is telling you “no” is an act of self-respect. It’s not weakness to pause, to step back, to honor what you’re feeling. It’s wisdom. Because when your body says “no,” it’s not betraying you, it’s protecting you.

Your only job is to listen.

16/09/2025

Have you ever noticed how, in certain conflicts, people keep falling into the same roles, almost like they’re playing out a script they never auditioned for? That’s exactly what the Drama Triangle from Transactional Analysis therapy explains.

Drama Triangle describes three roles people often slip into during unhealthy interactions:

- Victim: feeling powerless, hopeless, or stuck.
- Rescuer: stepping in to “save” others, often at their own expense.
- Persecutor: criticizing, blaming, or controlling.

We might rotate between these roles without realizing it, repeating the cycle in relationships, at work, or even with ourselves. For example, someone might feel like a victim of unfair treatment, then shift into rescuing others to gain validation, and later lash out as the persecutor when they feel unappreciated. Sound familiar?

So, how does understanding this help? When we recognize the Drama Triangle, we can step out of it. Instead of reacting from these automatic roles, we learn to respond more consciously:

- A “Victim” can reclaim their voice and responsibility.
- A “Rescuer” can set healthy boundaries and support without losing themselves.
- A “Persecutor” can shift from blame to constructive communication.

Benefit? It gives us freedom. Freedom to break out of toxic cycles, to communicate more authentically, and to build healthier, more balanced relationships. It’s like switching off autopilot and finally taking the steering wheel of your interactions.

Drama Triangle isn’t about labeling yourself or others, it’s about awareness. And with awareness comes the power to choose a different script, one where you can stand in your strength, care for yourself and others, and resolve conflict without drama.

16/09/2025

A Minimalistic Coping Skills Worksheet for Adults with Autism provides a clear and calming way to support emotional regulation and daily coping. With simple visuals, spacious design, and easy to follow prompts, it avoids unnecessary clutter that can feel overwhelming. The worksheet encourages individuals to notice their triggers, write down grounding techniques, and reflect on which strategies help them the most in different situations. By keeping it straightforward, it reduces sensory stress and allows adults with autism to focus on what truly matters, practical tools they can carry into real life moments. Whether used independently or alongside therapy, this minimalistic approach makes coping more accessible, empowering, and supportive in everyday life.

03/09/2025

When Someone Makes You Doubt Your Reality

Have you ever felt like you’re losing your mind because someone constantly makes you question your own memory, feelings, or experiences? That’s gaslighting. It’s one of the most subtle yet damaging forms of emotional manipulation. People who gaslight often use phrases like, “That never happened, you’re imagining it,” or “You’re too sensitive,” or “You always overreact.” Over time, those words start to sink in, and you begin to wonder if they’re right.

So, why do people do it? Gaslighting often comes from a need for control. Sometimes it’s used to avoid accountability, sometimes to protect one’s ego, and other times to maintain power over someone. The important thing to remember is that it’s rarely about you, it’s about them not wanting to face the truth or take responsibility for their actions.

The impact of gaslighting can be devastating. When it happens repeatedly, you start questioning your own reality. You doubt your memory, your feelings, even your sanity. It slowly chips away at your confidence and leaves you feeling confused, anxious, and trapped. The cruelest part is that you may begin to rely on the very person who is making you doubt yourself, because they convince you that only they see things “clearly.”

Protecting yourself from gaslighting takes courage, but it is possible. Start by trusting your gut, if something feels off, it usually is. Keep a record of things, whether that’s writing them down or saving messages, so you can remind yourself of what truly happened. Setting firm boundaries also matters. You don’t need to explain yourself endlessly. Sometimes a simple, “I know what I experienced,” is enough. And perhaps most importantly, reach out for support. Talk to trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can validate your reality and remind you that you’re not imagining things.

Your feelings are valid. Your experiences are real. No one has the right to rewrite your reality. And if this resonates with you, please know this, you’re not “too sensitive,” you’re not imagining things, and you’re certainly not alone.

03/09/2025

Boundaries are like invisible shields that protect our emotional, mental, and even physical well-being. They’re the quiet lines we draw to tell ourselves and others what feels safe, comfortable, and respectful. Without them, life can feel overwhelming, we end up drained, resentful, or even stuck in relationships that don’t truly serve us. But with them? We gain clarity, self-respect, and healthier, more authentic connections.

Think of boundaries as the rules of your personal space. When someone steps too close without asking, you naturally feel uncomfortable, that’s your instinctive boundary. Emotional boundaries work the same way; they define how much you share, how you allow others to treat you, and how you protect your energy.

There are generally three types of boundaries people tend to have. Rigid boundaries are like walls built too high. They can keep you safe but often shut others out completely. For example, maybe you avoid forming close friendships because you fear being hurt again. Then there are porous boundaries, walls so thin that anyone can walk through. This might look like saying yes to every request, even when you’re exhausted, or oversharing personal details with people who haven’t earned your trust. And finally, there are healthy boundaries, the sweet spot in between. They’re firm yet flexible. They allow you to open up to meaningful connections while still respecting your limits. It’s like being able to say, “I can’t take this on right now, but I wish you the best,” without guilt or fear of judgment.

The truth is, boundaries aren’t about shutting people out, they’re about teaching others how to treat you. They create relationships where respect flows both ways. Setting them can feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to pleasing everyone around you. But with practice, they become an act of self-love, a way of saying, “I value myself enough to protect my peace.”

What kind of boundaries do you recognize in yourself? Are they more rigid, porous, or healthy?