01/08/2025
A demand for change
To Keir Starmer, Bridget Phillipson , UK Government, The Labour Party Chris Packham, Children's Commissioner for England
Wales 🏴 Mark Drakeford
My name is Michaela Silsby.
I am the mother of Sahara , a bright, quick-witted, mathematically gifted 14-year-old girl who happens to be autistic and have ADHD.
And let me be absolutely clear: your system is failing her.
Not just once. Not just here and there.
At every single level.
We are done being polite about it.
Mainstream education in the UK has become a hostile environment for children like my daughter, children who learn differently, feel deeply, and struggle to fit into the narrow box your system demands.
I’ll also add, this does not just apply to Mainstream even Special education settings specifically designed for SEN children, are not fulfilling their duties and responsibilities.
We have done everything asked of us.
We have followed the rules, jumped through every hoop, chased every assessment, sat through endless meetings with professionals who barely understand the word “neurodivergent”, never mind the actual needs of an autistic or ADHD child.
And what have we got in return?
Dismissal.
Gaslighting.
Delay.
And damage.
You talk about inclusion. You put it in your policies, in your school prospectuses, in your parliamentary speeches.
All we have encountered is schools worrying about attendance, not education, not inclusion, not how they’re causing damage, but bums on seats, and how many fines they can spin out because of this!
Let me tell you the truth from the ground floor: inclusion in this country is a lie.
Because here’s what inclusion has looked like for Sahara:
• Teachers misinterpreting her anxiety as defiance.
• Her masking being used against her, “She’s fine in school” — while she crumbles the minute she walks through the front door.
• Sensory overwhelm ignored. Her needs dismissed.
• No timely access to support. No understanding. No safety.
• Being openly mocked by school staff due to her disabilities.
• Being put into isolation rooms in school when they can not meet her need, from 9 until 3pm , no access to proper work or breaks.
And me — her mother forced to carry it all.
Be her full-time carer, teacher, therapist, advocate, and emotional lifeline.
While also being patronised, blamed, or outright ignored by a system that should be helping us, not harming us.
You should know this isn’t just frustrating.
It’s dangerous.
Su***de is one of the Leading Causes of Death in Young People aged 5-24.
• Autistic individuals are 7 times more likely to die by su***de.
• In some studies, over 50% of autistic girls have considered it.
• Self-harm rates have doubled in young people aged 10–14 in the past decade.
You don’t need a task force to see the link between school trauma and mental health crises.
You need to listen to families like mine, who are waving red flags while your system continues to bury its head.
How many children need to be broken before something changes?
How many mothers like me have to give up our jobs, our health, and our peace just to keep our children from falling apart?
You have failed Sahara.
You are failing thousands like her.
And we are done waiting patiently while the damage piles up.
We Demand the Following Now:
1. Mandatory, in-depth SEND training for ALL school staff.
2. Immediate reduction in assessment waiting times for EHCPs and neurodivergent evaluations.
3. Accountability for schools who breach the Equality Act and fail to provide legal reasonable adjustments.
4. Protection from off-rolling, unlawful exclusions, and “managed moves” that push SEND children out.
5. National standards that include lived experience of autistic, ADHD and disabled young people and their families.
6. Schools being held accountable under section 42 of the Children’s and families act 2014.
7. Recognise EOTAS Packages and the benefit of these for children whom a school setting cannot be found due to complex needs, instead of brushing them off and leaving them to fall further through the cracks, without support.
EOTAS can save lives, and provide education!
This is not a request.
This is a call to action.
Because we are tired of being nice about the neglect.
Tired of being gaslit.
Tired of pretending we’re “fine” while watching our kids deteriorate.
Sahara is clever. She is kind. She is capable.
And she is being let down by your system every single day, in every single way!!
Do better.
Or be ready to answer for what happens when a generation of children are forced to survive in a world that refuses to meet their needs.
Michaela Silsby
Tired, exhausted, not giving up.
