Dr Vicky Lewis Clinical Psychology and Counselling Services

23/12/2025

18/12/2025

Important reminders especially at this time of year:

You can say "no" to invitations and plans

Spending time alone is ok

You do not have to feel merry/happy/joyful

All emotions are valid

Don't put pressure on yourself to overspend

You are allowed to spend the holidays however you want

It is ok to feel overwhelmed

There is no pressure to celebrate if this doesn't feel right for you

It's ok to leave events early

You can make your own choices, even if they don't fit with what someone else wants you to do

You are allowed to rest whenever you need it

It's your holiday too, if you have a tendency to put everyone else's needs before your own, be sure to carve out some time for yourself and meet your own needs too.

16/12/2025

Meltdowns after school
Think about the 'coke bottle' effect
Holding everything in all day is hard work and eventually it all has to come out.

Big reactions when told "no"
Tolerating the word "no" is so hard for children who have a developing brain. Remember the brain does not mature until mid 20s so this applies to all children and young people under the age of 25!

Big feelings
What you might think is an 'overreaction' is actually a way of letting you know their nervous system simply cannot take anymore.

Becoming physical when overwhelmed
Pushing throwing, shouting, hitting, hurting does not mean children are "naughty".
This is a sign of dysregulation and they need your help with regulating.

Struggling to answer "what's wrong?"
This is often to do with genuinely struggling to put things to words, feeling at their limit, being unable to access the 'calm' part of the brain and/or a fear of being judged/told off.

Try to remind yourself that:

All behaviour has meaning

Behaviour is a way of communicating feelings

What appears to be 'bad' behaviour is how children outwardly show distress and it's often the tip of the iceberg

PS Knowing all of the above will not necessarily make parenting feel any easier.

But it will absolutely help you to understand struggles through a different lense, strengthen your relationship with them and help them to know that you are there for them no matter what.

11/12/2025

Ideas for prioritising your mental health:

Set clear boundaries

You do not owe anyone anything

Identify people you can trust and ask for help

Take a social media break

Don't slip into the trap of comparing yourself to others

Try and keep mindful paying attention to the present moment

Focus on your breath try the 4-7-8 technique: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds

Go for a regular walk in nature

09/12/2025

Christmas can be a wonderful, exciting time but also highly stressful and overwhelming for neurodivergent and neurotypical children.

Consider the impact of:

Expectations for carol concerts, nativities, fayres, parties, light switch ons etc.

Different routines

Increased sensory input (bright lights, loud music, busy crowded events, different smells and food)

An increase in social demands

Coming to the end of a long and demanding academic term (this applied to teachers and parents as well as children!)

Social expectations to be happy and excited and grateful

Potential fatigue from masking and trying to keep going

Remember:

Excitement and overwhelm can exist together

Nervous systems are working over time

Behaviour is a form of communication - answering back, shouting, 'meltdowns', hitting out all have meaning behind them e.g. tiredness, fed up, ready for the end of term to come, wanting a predictable routine, done with too many social events etc.

Try to be as kind as yourself as you possibly can and help your children to know that you are there for them no matter what and if you need to skip some of the festive activities and provide quiet downtime at home it's absolutely ok to say "no".

05/12/2025

Masking is the act of suppressing or concealing neurodivergent traits in schools and at work in order to appear neurotypical.

Neurodivergent individuals may mask and change their behaviour in public settings due to internal pressure to feel as though they 'fit in' and due to fear of judgement or discrimination.

What does masking look like?

Neurodivergent people who mask their conditions tend to do this by mimicking or mirroring the behaviours of neurotypical people around them.

This could include:

Developing social scripts for use during social interactions and pre-planning and rehearsing conversations in advance
Trying to suppress stimming behaviours (stimming can include things like repetitive body movements, humming, repeating phrases, fidgeting, clearing ones throat, doodling, twirling objects, pacing etc)
Forcing eye contact even though this may feel unnatural or uncomfortable
Responding to questions with stereotypical answers or rehearsed scripts
Trying to hide the impact of sensory overload
Downplaying special interests or hobbies.

How can we help support people with masking?

Schools and workplaces are two of the primary places that neurodivergent individuals need to feel supported so they can thrive

Supportive, non judgemental, accepting and enabling environments are essential

Allowing plenty of time to recover after social interactions

Energy accounting

Prioritising spending time in environments where masking doesn't feel like an unavoidable coping mechanism.

02/12/2025

Here's your reminder why walking and spending time in nature is such great medicine:

Calms your mind

Boosts your mood

Helps to regulate your nervous system

Regulates your breathing

Reduces stress

Releases hormones that can lower difficult feelings and improve focus and sleep.

27/11/2025

Did You Know....

A 20 second hug:

- Releases oxytocin
- Lowers Cortisol
- Slows your heart rate
- Calms your nervous system

25/11/2025

Are you finding parenting hard? That's because parenting is hard.

Connecting with your child is an essential ingredient of your relationship with them and disconnection can happen at all different times.

For example:

When you're running late for school

When you find yourself repeating the same request over again

When you feel you are not being listened to

When your child is dysregulated and there is an explosion of emotions

When things have happened which are hard not to take personally

Connecting with your child isn’t just something you do once. It needs to be done constantly. Over and over again.

Connecting, empathising and being present: these are what allow you to have a connected positive relationship with your child every day.

Of course, not every moment of every day is going to be plain sailing.

But each moment of the day is an opportunity to make a connection.

Sending warm wishes to all parents who are finding things hard right now.

20/11/2025

Being regulated doesn't mean you always need to be calm and zen.

According to polyvagal theory, a regulated nervous system is one that is flexible so that it:

Activates when you need energy or to focus (sympathetic).
Settles when it is time to rest (parasympathetic).
Connects when you feel safe (ventral vagal).
Protects you when there is a threat (fight, flight, freeze).

Nervous system regulation is really important for maintaining emotional balance & responding effectively to stress.

When someone is dysregulated this means getting stuck in a state and unable to come back down.

In a dysregulated state, our sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are imbalanced. We feel we are at our limit, and it affects our ability to problem-solve, make rational decisions, and engage positively with others.

Knowing how to recognise dysregulation in our system and respond in an adaptive and protective way is a powerful wellness tool available to everyone.

We feel nervous system regulation when there is a balance between activation of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.

We feel dysregulation when these systems are not working efficiently in response to our experiences.

This dance between the two systems occurs all day, every day, over the course of our lives.

Although the physiological responses of the parasympathetic nervous system are involuntary, we can bring them under conscious awareness and use them to return to a calmer state.

You can reset your nervous system naturally with regular exercise, listening to calming music, positive social connections, physical touch, spending time in nature etc.

Rather than aiming to remain calm all of the time, which is an unrealistic expectation, celebrate when you notice that you've been able to activate and settle back down, respond and recover.

You can practise this skill by using deep breathing techniques, engaging in physical movement like walking or yoga and trying mindfulness techniques such as meditation or a body scan.

18/11/2025

This is your reminder that spending time in nature can improve your mental health by:

Resetting your mood
Decreasing anxiety
Reducing stress
Lessening feelings of anger

14/11/2025

Every year, bullying impacts the lives of countless young people and silence can keep it hidden.

That’s why, this Anti-Bullying Week, the aim is to empower young people to use their Power for Good to safely speak up and raise awareness when they see bullying, face to face or online.

Concerningly, 30% of children and young people have been bullied in the last year.

17% have been bullied online.

It is estimated that at least one child in every classroom will experience bullying each day.

It's important to provide the right conditions to empower children and young people to be able to speak up.

For more information about Anti Bullying Week see https://youtu.be/lO6599wP390