01/07/2025
WOW this brought tears to my eyes 😭 Sounds like my childhood 😳 not saying it was ALL bad, but I definitely had some trauma from parents divorcing when I was just 5 💔 then the mistakes they both made with their next marriages, I certainly paid for 🥊🤯 Thankfully I recognise the PTSD and constantly work on healing it ❤️🩹
I Was the Parent Before I Was Ever the Child
I made bottles for my siblings
before I knew how to spell “bottle.”
I calmed my mother’s breakdowns
before I had my first crush.
I learned to budget groceries
before I even got an allowance.
I wasn’t raised.
I was assigned.
1. I Played Grown-Up Because I Had No Choice
While kids my age played pretend,
I was reading overdue bills.
I was explaining adult mistakes
to debt collectors—at ten.
They called me “mature.”
But maturity forced too soon
isn’t wisdom.
It’s wounding.
2. I Wasn’t the Responsible One—Just the Forgotten One
They praised me for not asking much.
For “handling it.”
For being “so helpful.”
But helpfulness becomes a curse
when you start believing
your worth is in how much you carry.
I wasn’t dependable—
I was invisible.
3. I Didn’t Hate My Parents—But I Grew Up Afraid of Needing Anything
They did what they could.
They had wounds of their own.
But I became emotionally numb
because there was never room
for my breakdowns.
Only theirs.
4. I Still Struggle to Receive
Even now—
compliments feel foreign.
Help feels like guilt.
Rest feels selfish.
Because when you grow up giving everything,
receiving feels like theft.
And softness feels like danger.
5. Final Word: I Deserve a Childhood—Even If I Claim It Late
I’m unlearning.
Unpacking.
Undoing years of “I’m fine.”
Because I was never supposed
to carry their pain.
I was supposed to be a child—
not their bandage.
Credit: True Feeling
