30/04/2025
🔎💡 MYTH BUSTING SELF-COMPASSION 💡🔍
Myth #1: Self-compassion is a form of self-pity
While many people think of self-compassion as feeling sorry for yourself, in fact, self-compassion makes us more willing to accept, experience, and acknowledge difficult feelings with kindness, which paradoxically helps us process and let go of them more fully. (Neff & Pommier, 2013, Raes, 2010)
Myth #2: Self-compassion is weak
Researchers are discovering that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience available to us when we encounter major difficulties, such as divorce or chronic pain. (Sbarra, Smith & Mehl, 2012, Hiraoka et al., 2015, Wren et al, 2012)
Myth #3: Self-compassion is selfish
Contrary to the idea that self-compassion is selfish, a growing body of research shows self-compassionate people tend to be more caring and supportive in romantic relationships (Neff & Beretvas, 2013), are more likely to compromise in relationship conflicts (Yarnell & Neff, 2013), and are more compassionate toward others (Neff & Pommier, 2013).
Myth #4: Self-compassion is self-indulgent
Compassion advocates long-term health not short-term pleasure (just like a compassionate mother doesn’t let her child eat all the ice cream he or she wants but says “eat your vegetables.”) And research shows self-compassionate people engage in healthier behaviors like exercise (Magnus, Kowalski & McHugh, 2010), eating well (Schoenefeld & Webb, 2013), and going to the doctor more regularly (Terry et al., 2013).
Myth #5: Self-compassion is a form of making excuses
Self-compassion provides the safety needed to admit mistakes, rather than needing to blame someone else for them. Research also shows that self-compassionate people take greater personal responsibility for their actions (Leary et al., 2007), and are more likely to apologise if they’ve offended someone (Brienes & Chen, 2012).
Myth #6: Self-compassion will undermine motivation
Most people believe self-criticism is an effective motivator, but it actually undermines self-confidence and leads to fear of failure. Motivation with self-compassion comes from the desire for health and well-being. It provides the emotionally supportive environment needed for change. Research shows that self-compassionate people have high personal standards; they just don’t beat themselves up when they fail (Neff, 2003b). This means they are less afraid of failure (Neff, Hseih, & Dejitthirat, 2007) and are more likely to try again and to persist in their efforts after failing (Breines & Chen, 2012).
Research listed with thanks to for collating the last 16 years of academic and clinical self-compassion research on her website by date and topic 🙏🌿🙏
Come and join our next Mindful Self-Compassion course starting Monday 2nd June to build this resource in your own life: https://www.southseamindfulness.co.uk/8-week-msc-course
