Focused Hypnotherapy (2025)

14/07/2025

Have you ever thought about how you think? 🤔

We all use different thinking processes depending on the context but we default to one that feels most familiar.

It is possible to train your brain to move between different thinking styles when needed and that can be an excellent tool for getting s**t done.

We have ways to process information, these are typically:

Analytical Thinking
Small chunks, seeks logic and evidence.
Best for: problem-solving, data analysis, diagnostics.

Holistic Thinking
Bigger picture, associations and context.
Best for: systems thinking, planning, understanding complex issues.

Sequential/Linear Thinking
Processes information step by step in a logical order.
Best for: following procedures, learning in structured environments.

Nonlinear/Intuitive Thinking
Jumps between ideas, sees connections instantly, relies on gut feelings.
Best for: creativity, brainstorming, innovation.

You may identify when you use each or a combination of these. But when you are in your natural state you might lean towards one over another.

Under each definition is the most beneficial situation to use each. This can be really useful as we can decide what the objective is and when to utilise that type of thinking.

For many of us it is difficult to notice when we are thinking a certain way, so the practice of observing and identifying your thinking process can in itself help you to see if that was actually the most effective way to approach the situation.

We can grow and improve when we use the right tools for the job at hand. The more you practice something the easier it becomes and the better your brain gets at choosing the best option.

It can help to work with someone else to explore this especially if you are wanting to improve your habits, systems, decision making, problem solving skills.

I will be posting about other thinking styles so make sure you like and follow to keep updated.

Let me know if this was helpful ❤️

13/07/2025

For YEARS I was told I had ‘social anxiety’ but something about it just didn’t make sense.

As a child I was described as a social butterfly, I would ‘fit in’ in most situations, I was very adaptable and generally got on with most people.

Honestly though I just liked simplicity. Things started to get more complicated when the social unwritten rules became more complicated.

I just didn’t get it, i couldn’t figure out the girl code.

I think college was my first real awareness that I might be a bit ‘different’. I became very self aware. I didn’t want to be in the ‘popular’ group- I don’t think I would have been invited tbh. I didn’t really feel like I fit into any of the groups. I didn’t have a sense of identity.

Thank god for university. I could come and go, join in or do my own thing. No one really cared that much, you were always welcome.

But back in the real world, there were rules, jobs, comparison, feedback, judgment, competition.

It was structured, loud, busy, distracting.

I felt overwhelmed by everything.

I was supposed to make conversation, be interested, be interesting, say the right things to the right people, don’t say what you think, say what is expected. Comply, engage, listen, don’t interrupt, and never ever expose problems that they don’t want to look at.

Argh. My poor brain felt so overwhelmed and confused.

I struggled to understand the rules, what to do, what was expected.

I just wanted to get on with things, I didn’t want to have to jump through hoops, I hated the political processes, the cliques, influencing people.

So i became anxious.

I stayed anxious because I didn’t get it, I just don’t understand.

I felt like I was always going to be rejected for being me.

This is what I now have a label for. Neurodivergent.

I wasn’t supposed to get it all, my brain doesn’t work the same way. I wasn’t getting it wrong, it wasn’t because I was stupid, broken, bad.

I don’t have social anxiety. I have a brain that doesn’t always understand and is super sensitive to sensory input and perceived rejection.
This creates a dysregulated nervous system.

I don’t feel safe.

I don’t need to do more to fit in, I need to regulate.

08/07/2025

The first step to change anything requires you to pay attention.
If we don’t notice what causes our problems then we can’t do anything to change that

We have to pay attention to our triggers, the way they make us feel, and the way we respond.

We have to notice our cues of danger

AND we need to notice our glimmers.

What makes us feel safe, what helps us regulate our emotions in a healthy way, what makes us experience joy, awe, conn

26/06/2025

I’m joking, but, you know it’s true.

Why would one person need to be good at everything? I don’t see an evolutionary advantage for this?

Imagine a situation where everyone is completely incompetent except you. Now imagine a situation where everyone is equally good at everything.

It just wouldn’t work. It would take forever to actually achieve anything. It wouldn’t be efficient.

So if you’re actually attempting to be good at everything, you are probably making things more difficult than they need to be.

Guess what terrible things happened when I stopped trying to be good at things that I either wasn’t naturally good at, or didn’t really need to be good at.

F**k all.

I just got a lot of extra time and actually got on better with people, had more patience and was more focused and productive. And most importantly I let myself ask for help.

I would love to know what drives you to be good at everything and if it’s really true?

19/06/2025

It’s time to give your inner critic a reality check.

I was thinking about growing up as I raise my own children. How to give criticism in a way that is helping not harming.

It’s hard.

At such a young age every criticism feels deep and personal (well it did for me and does for my children).

It’s the age our brains are most malleable and these comments from someone we love can create beliefs about ourselves.

But I came to the conclusion, we need to be able to take negative feedback and learn resilience by having a strong sense of self esteem.

So how do we do that.

My clients always pull a face when I bring out the self esteem conversation.

I get it. I used to feel that way too.

But that’s because we didn’t have someone to explain what it was and why it matters. We only took the criticism and not the praise (if we had it)

Now as an adult it’s your responsibility to teach yourself how to build self esteem.

I don’t mean talk to yourself like you are amazing. I mean show yourself you are.

The inner critic is your voice fuelled by fear. It’s a scared little child who doesn’t want to get told off.

So when you listen to it, you’re allowing a small child to control your emotions and behaviour.

We want to be an adult (okay we don’t, but we need to)

Be the adult your little voice needs.

What do I do when my kids are scared. I say come with me, let’s work it out together. You are strong and brave and so am I.

That my friends is self esteem- knowing you are important, worthy of care, worth the effort.

16/06/2025

If someone tries to make you feel like you’re not enough or too much, then tell them you respectfully disagree and carry on being you.

You don’t owe anyone the version of yourself that they feel is more appropriate.

People who feel very uncomfortable being themselves often find it hard to see those behaviours in others.

It doesn’t mean it’s wrong to have that behaviour, just that they have a confused or misplaced view on the behaviour.

If you try to bend too much to make that person comfortable you will end up snapping.

If someone has to feel uncomfortable about you, let it be them. After all you have to live with you, they have a choice. They can choose to spend their time with someone else who makes them feel more ‘comfortable’.

It’s not your job to fit into other people’s perspectives. Only yours ❤️

11/06/2025

It’s like you suddenly can’t see clearly. Life is going okay and you’re happy, productive, intelligent, independent, positive, optimistic, content, stable.

You like your life, you love your family, you want to see your friends, you enjoy working and are capable and competent.

Then one day you wake up and nothing feels the same. Everything looks the same, sounds the same and yet you have an overwhelming sense that it’s not.

Your body feels heavier, your brain foggy. You don’t feel like yourself anymore. You forget how to do the same things you did yesterday so easily. You find it unbearable when something isn’t working, you lose all sense of rationality when you can’t do something. Your emotions become overwhelming and uncontrollable. You don’t know if you will cry or shout or laugh. You stop wanting to connect. You feel deep intense love one moment followed by feelings of sadness and guilt. You feel helpless and vulnerable.

It is such a dramatic shift it knocks you off your feet. It takes your breath away. It stuns you into a state of freeze.

Everything slows down. Time becomes longer.

You don’t think it will ever end, this is life now.

Until you wake up one day and find you can breathe again, you feel lighter, you feel more like yourself again.

And you feel relieved It’s over for now, you made it.

04/06/2025

Firstly what is resistance talk?
Well typically it’s when someone is (often not consciously) coming up with reasons that they don’t need/want to change something that they also recognise is a problem.

Let’s look at an example:
Sally is working long days. She tells you she’s stressed and unhappy, she feels like her boss is giving her too much work so it’s impossible to get it done, when she raised it she didn’t feel supported.
(Sally is many of my clients when they first come to see me)

You ask her what she is going to do. Oh nothing, she replies. I’m sure it will be the same no matter what job I have, and the money is good. I like my team and I know what I’m doing. If I leave I will have to learn everything and it’s not the right time.

Does Sally want to change her situation? Yes, more than likely.
Is she aware it’s a problem, yes she’s unhappy, working too much and stressed.

Why is she resisting in resolving the problem then?

We don’t know. But her language is telling us that she’s not ready to make that change yet.

It’s clear she has an internal conflict going on, she knows it’s a problem but she doesn’t feel confident about changing it. She feels uncertain and that is likely to create some fear.

So how can you help Sally?
Empathy and compassion.

Don’t tell her what to do, or ask why she’s not doing it. Instead tell her that situation must be difficult, you can see how it’s hard to know what to do.
Let her know you understand her situation. Just because you think you know what you would want and what you would do, doesn’t mean it will help Sally.

We need to understand what Sally’s motivations are to stay as she is. Maybe she doesn’t have the confidence to apply for a new job, perhaps she’s struggling with her anxiety and the thought of change is just too much at the moment. Perhaps she feels helpless to change as her boss was unsupportive. She might feel financial pressure at home and feel like it’s her responsibility. She might think she has to work hard to prove her worth.

Allowing someone to explore this in a non judgmental and compassionate way is going to help them come up with their own solutions when they feel ready.

30/05/2025

More than you might realise!!

Research has found a link between hyper mobility and neurodiversity.
80% of ADHD women have hyper mobile joints and 50% of participants with a diagnosis of ASD, ADHD or Tourette’s had elevated hyper mobility. Compared to 20% in the general population.

ND participants also reported higher levels of pain and dysautonomia (eg dizziness on standing) than NT participants. The correlation was stronger the more hypermobile participants were.

Another study found participants who were hyper mobile at 14 had a higher risk of Anxiety at 18 than non hyper mobile participants.

There is a huge correlation between ASD and ADHD and Dyslexia. Each of these factors also correlate with a higher likelihood of hyper mobile joints, digestive issues, pain, emotional regulation issues and anxiety.

The research shows a mathematical significance in the connection of hyper mobility with these factors.

Of course you can be hyper mobile and not ND and you can be ND and not hyper mobile but there is a huge connection which indicates ND is more than a neurological difference but a whole body difference.

Something many of us have known intuitively but science now confirms

29/05/2025

I celebrate myself in all my different physical forms and selves.

I see people at their most vulnerable and uncomfortable moments. I see their fear, pain, sadness, grief, anger, shame, guilt, love, joy.

I see them face uncertainty and confusion, challenges, loss, change.

I see their desire to be free and connected at the same time.

I see myself in all of my sessions. My clients are always a mirror that I glimpse my own reflection in.

So I want to openly and loudly celebrate myself.

I am fu***ng amazing.

I am brave and courageous.

I am caring and loyal.

I am passionate and curious.

I am determined and active.

I am also many other things, and sometimes I am the opposite of each.

I’m neither one nor the other. I am just me.

I used to dislike myself intensely.

I used to feel ashamed of who I was and never felt i deserved to be loved.

I didn’t think I was worthy or enough.

And I am deeply sorry to myself for that.

I listened to others hurt which they directed at me and allowed it to become my identity. I let their shame become mine. I allowed their pain to hurt me. I became who they needed me to be to make themselves stronger.

Now I am strong. And I healed my heart. My heart gives and receives love.

I am just me. You can choose to love me, but you don’t have to. I don’t need you to accept me, I am okay.

I will always be a safe space if you need it, but I won’t let anyone take my safety from me. I will fiercely protect my world and all who live there.

I won’t fix you or ask you to change.
I don’t need you to be anyone for me, only who you choose to be for yourself.

I am no longer who you need me to be, I am just me. 🌶️

20/05/2025

Cheetahs are quite anxious, when they feel threatened they run away using their speed to protect themselves. Do you have a tendency to run or metaphorically distance yourself when you feel vulnerable.

Jellyfish show you how they feel, if they feel threatened they will use their electric spikes to warn away or even cause harm. They may get defensive and say things they don’t mean or deflect their pain outwards.

Mice quietly scurry to a safe distance, they are observant but timid. Do you stay quiet or step aside and watch from safety when things start to feel uncomfortable.

Ostrich put their head in the sand when they feel nervous. They are experts at avoiding the problem, wait until it’s passed and return, not needing to address or resolve the issue.

Elephants are very aware of others, they pick up on everyone’s feelings and can be quite nervy. They like the safety of the herd and don’t like to be isolated. They might feel anxious if they feel they are being targeted and find it very hard to regulate their emotions.

Dogs are loyal, they like rules and boundaries and they can be very protective. They don’t like to feel like they have done something wrong. They will often sit and watch to see what the response is, but will always come back for a cuddle and some fuss. They like to get reassurance and comfort from others and don’t like to be alone.

Which of these animals do you default to when you feel vulnerable? Perhaps it depends on the situation or what part of you feels vulnerable.

Identifying yourself with some of these characteristics doesn’t mean you’re flawed it means you have a brain that is wired to avoid discomfort and promote safety.

Sometimes these behaviours are super useful and do help so we don’t want to get rid of them. We just need to get them in check so they don’t take over every time and become our default for every vulnerable situation.

Let me know in comments which animals you see in yourself when you’re vulnerable

12/05/2025

There’s a LOT of noise atm about over diagnosing and labelling mental health and neurodivergence.

I totally understand the perspective and I don’t think we can ever have fixed opinion on this topic as it’s complex.

The arguments for not labelling or diagnosing have some weight, however if we go down that route we have to create a cut off for diagnostic criteria. DSM-5 is already based on large group and strong scientific data. Many symptoms and characteristics aren’t included even when there’s a large correlation in the cohort.

But. I also understand we can’t help our own bias.

For me having a word that explains why my brain is sometimes not functioning the way I want it to has allowed me to forgive myself. I have learnt to accept myself for who I am now. I stopped trying to be the person I thought I should be. I removed expectations that I couldn’t not meet. I learned how I could do things, what would work.

Having a diagnosis also helped me as I got coaching that was specifically focused on how to make my life better with ADHD rather than trying not to have it.
I also got medication 💊
Now I understand the worry of medication and I do see that we need to do so much more than just hand out the pills (which is what happens in every medical scenario not just mental health/ND). But for me I don’t take the pill expecting it to change me, it won’t fix me. I don’t need medication to do that as I don’t need to do that. But what it does is quieten my inner noise enough for me to actually hear. I can have a conversation with you without constantly being interrupted. I can think about what I want to say without the words all falling out my mouth and then feeling embarrassed. I can plan and actually feel like I will do what I want to do. I can focus on what I’m doing and complete tasks.

But my point isn’t about any of this.

My point is if we dont use a label, how would we do the research? Everyone would be looking at this thing and finding out useful information, but no one would know that was the same thing they had looked at.

It’s why ASD and ADHD were so misunderstood for such a long time.

We have to label. There’s no way we can’t.

Focused Hypnotherapy

14/07/2025

13/07/2025

08/07/2025

26/06/2025

19/06/2025

16/06/2025

11/06/2025

04/06/2025

30/05/2025

29/05/2025

20/05/2025

12/05/2025

Address

Telephone

Website

Alerts

Contact The Practice

Shortcuts

Share