27/08/2025
Bending over backwards for people is not selfless behaviour, especially when the motivation is to avoid confrontation or exclusion at the cost of your mental health and well-being. While “good” is a broad term, it’s definitely not about being a doormat or seeing how much you can tolerate. True goodness comes from a place of authenticity, where kindness and self-respect walk hand in hand.
People often distinguish between being nice and being kind. The argument is that niceness can be superficial or even manipulative, while kindness is authentic and without expectation. “Nice” is often associated with people-pleasing, yet it can still be essential depending on the context.
The truth is, not all “nice” people are practicing kindness. A nice person can be polite and welcoming, but often with a self-serving end goal in mind. Kindness, on the other hand, is more genuine as there is no agenda on the cards. Niceness isn’t necessarily negative, as most of us would rather be around nice people than rude ones. It’s the social lubricant that makes daily interactions smoother.
However, the deeper goal should be to cultivate authentic kindness, with actions that come from real care, while still maintaining healthy boundaries. This balance allows us to be considerate of others without abandoning our own well-being.
You’re human, with your own needs, values, and limits. Setting boundaries is like putting up fences to protect your inner garden from being trampled. True goodness isn’t about always saying “yes” or never rocking the boat; it’s about treating others with respect and compassion while also respecting yourself. Offering help when you can is important, but knowing when to step back for your own well-being is just as vital.
By setting healthy limits, you’re not just taking care of yourself, you’re ensuring that when you do extend kindness, it comes from wholeness.
