Laura S, Life Reset Specialist

19/08/2024

Celebrating my 4th year on Facebook. Thank you for your continuing support. I could never have made it without you. 🙏🤗🎉

16/08/2024

Are you struggling with the grief of being childfree, not by choice?

This post offers guidance to overcome the hopelessness. Read more: https://www.liferesetspecialist.com/overcome-the-hopelessness-you-may-feel-being-childfree-not-by-choice

Take the first step towards healing. Visit the blog now.

06/08/2024

Life has been very busy lately so had much less time to post on social, however, I wrote a blog post a couple of weeks ago on some steps to take to overcome the hopelessness that can come with being childfree not choice.

You can read it below, feel free to drop me a DM with the stepsbyou may be taking that I missed.

Laura x

When I began analysing my latest sessions, I noticed a pattern emerging. My clients, usually upbeat despite life's challenges, carried a heavy weight of hopelessness. Many of them were adults who were childfree not by choice, a group facing unique emotional and social struggles. The ongoing dreary,....

21/07/2024

10 ways to embrace a more fulfilling childfree life.

In this video I share 10 things you can do to start to rebuild your life.

What else would you add? Share with me in the comments.

Welcome to the LifeReset YouTube Channel, where we provide compassionate support and guidance for individuals who are childfree not by choice. Our mission is...

14/07/2024

Some excellent books here

Novels, memoirs, essays and more.

08/07/2024

Quite a common fear among the childfree not by choice community is that they will be alone forever, die alone, have noone to care of them when they are older.

The reality is, that it could be anyone, with children, without children. Married, divorced, widowed.

The positive news is building community is the antidote to that.

Finding like-minded friends, neighbours, colleagues, spiritual or religious based communities, friends from the gym or yoga class, the reteat down the road that provides food to their community from their garden. The places to find your tribe are endless.

Building community is the most positive thing that anyone can do for their lives.

If that seems scary, then work through those feelings first, or seek to support to help you be less socially anxious and then go seek a community.

If you don't even remember who you are anymore or what you like, do some work on self awareness and value building on your own or with a therapist.

Make your end goal finding community and handle all the other bumps as they come up.

Fears lose their power when we take action to achieve a goal that feels more powerful.

Love Laura x

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

To work with me:

1. Book your free consult via link in bio
2. Join the 6 week support group starting Mon 15th July.

05/07/2024

Lovely uplifting article about women who were childfree and feeling lonely and how they came together. I think this is one thing that most women do well, a little better than men at times.

In my local area someone started a very similar group and now there are 1000s of ladies from the local area in the group at all stages of life.

Do you have anything similar in your neighbourhood?

Lisa Collins and Sophie Curthoys wanted to build a community of women who lacked female friendships, so they started Women Who Walk.

01/07/2024

She said to me:, "everywhere I look Laura... every damn place, the product or service is for mothers.

That means not me.

Not me because I'm a failure as a woman.
Not me because I didn't get into that cool club either
Not me because I don't get to experience what they're doing or having children.
Not me because I don't "understand" what having children is like."

And then she sobbed. Uncontrollably.

"No one ever asks me how it feels not to have children, she whispered.

To not fit into any group of women anymore.
To not be able to look my friends in the eye when they talk about how annoying their kids are.
To not get invited to the only parties they're having now. "

If you can relate to this... then join my 6 week online support group for women and men who are childless not by choice.

£85 for 6 weeks.

Less than the price of one regular therapy session.

Join Because you want:
- Community
- Support
- Tools to help you
- To find a way forward
- To be heard and understood
- To create emotional healing

Small group of max 12 people.

Link in comment to join.

Love Laura 💚


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30/06/2024

This article is so toxic.

I am not a Taylor Swift fan mostly because my taste in music is different and I'm not one for hype.

All that being said, this article uses the the fact that at 34 she is unmarried and childless - as though that is anyone else's business but her own.

Not to mention the fact that it imposes a belief on women that what they should all be aspiring to be, rather than someone whose influence spans across multiple generations and changes people's lives if she shines her light on it, is a wife and a mother.

It's so narrow minded and ignorant.

She knows nothing of Taylor's fertility or wants and needs. Also, it takes away the fact that people can have someone who they admire, worship even and make their own life choices.

Many people have circumstantial reasons why they don't have children, some have partner related issues.

The important point is we don't know what Taylor's choices are and quite frankly, it's none of our business. Love her, hate her, irrelevant.

Women can be more than a wife.
Women can be more than mothers.
Women can be wildly successful and influential.
Women can make their own life choices.
Women sometimes have those choices reduced.
Life doesn't end at 30 for Women.

Rant over.

24/06/2024

As usual, I have another course and diploma to complete.... so I'm on the hunt for volunteers.

I am looking for help with 2 things, if you know anyone or if you are interested then please get in touch with me.

1. 3 x people who are willing to be coached for free for approx 12 mins on camera, recorded that will be reviewed by an examiner. This problem we'd coach on would be a level 1-4 out of 10, so not too heavy but impacting your life. Big shifts can happen in a short space with this work.

2. 5 x people who are willing to be interviewed for research purposes who meet the following criteria:
- childfree not by choice as a result of:
◇ failed ivf / ivf trauma
◇ previous pregnancy complications
◇ financial circumstances
◇ life circumstances
◇ partner related reasons
◇ personal trauma
◇genetic related circumstances
◇unexplained infertility
◇ if over 45, life just happened, career took over or right partner didn't show up.

The important thing is, you did want children but now are livining without them due to one of the reasons above, or another I may have left out.

Really appreciate your help!

18/06/2024

This is such a fascinating study with some interesting outputs. Notably that early life Metabolic disorders and mental behavioural disorders often leads to childlessness by 45.

It's got my brain shooting off in loads of directions as to the inferences that could be made.

One other interesting factor in this study group was the link to education and the childless adults parents education.

Everything in life is so interrelated. For every action there's a reaction comes to mind.

If you read the article, what are your thoughts on this study?

A ground-breaking study, published in Nature Human Behaviour, reveals a significant association between 74 early-life diseases and the likelihood of remaining childless throughout one's life, with 33 of these diseases prevalent in both women and men.

16/06/2024

Wishing all those men who would have loved to be a father love and healing today.

14/06/2024

I found this post that I shared 4 years ago when I was having to deal with my 3rd redundancy, moving out of my marital home following the breakdown of my marriage and still grieving the life I would never have.

I found it helpful, hopefully you do too.

13/06/2024

"You can always adopt."

What not to say to say when someone tells you they can't have children.

It's the one thing that a couple hears religiously.

Like they haven't thought about it, considered it, even. 🤦‍♀️

This statement can be hurtful and insensitive, putting unnecessary pressure on child-free couples to justify their choices, which are quite frankly no one else's business....

Not the potential grandparents, the potential aunts or uncles, friends, social acquitances.

So....
Next time someone tells you they can't have children, rather be supportive and show empathy.

Remember that they will be going through lots of big emotions as is without needing to feel unsupported.

12/06/2024

Realising that you won't have children can leave you with a sense of lost identity, like you're not quite sure who you are or where you belong.

This feeling can be incredibly disorienting and unsettling, leaving you with a deep sense of confusion and insecurity.

Emotionally, you may feel lost, disconnected, and out of touch with yourself and your surroundings.

In your mind, you may be grappling with thoughts like:
- "Who am I, now?"
- "What is my purpose in life?"
- "I don't recognise myself anymore."
- "I feel like I've lost a part of myself."

Visually, you may see yourself as a shadow of your former self, struggling to find your way back to a sense of authenticity and self-assurance. This can be a lonely and isolating experience, but it's important to remember that you're not alone. Many people struggle with feelings of lost identity at some point in their lives.

Therapy can be a valuable tool in helping you rediscover and redefine your sense of self.

In therapy you can explore your values, beliefs, and goals, and begin to rebuild a strong and authentic sense of identity.

Remember, it's okay to seek support and guidance as you navigate this journey of self-discovery.

You deserve to feel whole and connected to yourself once again. 💖

Book your free Consultation through link in bio or sending me a DM.

11/06/2024

1 in 5 couples in the UK are child free.
With an estimated 10% consciously choosing to be so.

Below I've listed some of the devastating reasons why the other 90% may be child free not by choice.

1. Previous pregnancy related complications such as:
- recurring miscarriages
- Still born birth
- ectopic pregnancy

2. IVF trauma - the physical, emotional, psychological and financial stress, strain and burden. The cycle of hope and devastation. The procedures and doctors.

3. Partner related circumstances:
- not finding a partner or the right partner to raise children with
- partner can't have children
- partner doesn't want children

4. Age related circumstances:
- Life happened and one day your eggs are geriatric and not functioning
- choosing career
- waiting to be stable financially, emotionally

5. Personal life trauma:
- Abuse
- Emotional neglect
- Intimacy related abuse
- Upbringing

6. Personal Circumstances:
- Lack of family support
- Lack of access to treatment
- Financial constraints

7. Unexplained Infertility:
- Stress, burnout
- Metabolic related causes

8. Medical Infertility:
- Defective gene carrier
- Chronic or terminal illness
- Early life viral infections
- Cancer
- PCOS

There are commonalities amongst all these and that is the toll on one's mental health, physical health, soul, relationship and social life.

There's not an area of life left unaffected by needing to accept this reality and loss of a future.

The need for support, understanding and compassion is real.