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Lauren McQuade Speaks

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Lauren McQuade Speaks

Communicating my story about how I healed from mental illness by healing the most important relationship in my life - the one I have with myself.

I hope this will inspire and inform those suffering and their families about how they can do the same.

28/11/2024

A juggernaut to my self esteem over the past 30 years has been another cognitive distortion called 'self blame.'

When friendships failed it was my fault, when I lost a job that was down to me too, when I didn't hear back from a friend I must have said/done something wrong.

It really saddens me now thinking about it.

Our thoughts truly can cause us so much suffering, but the great news is it doesn't need to be that way. I've got an amazing friend from boarding school, and her voice often resounds loudly in my head telling me 'Loz, now don't be silly, you're a great person, you've done nothing wrong, just you remember lots of people love you!""

This is the voice I try to tune into as much as I can (I've never told her how much her voice helps me, I must!).

Who might you tune into? If it's not a friend perhaps you might think of someone of your own, it doesn't even need to be a human being! Someone who can reassure, support and encourage you! Because as the wella advert goes 'Cause (you're special and) you're worth it!

Hope you enjoy the rest of your day!❤

And a wee p.s. do you know anyone that might appreciate these words of encouragement? If you do please feel free to share this with them! Thank you!!🙏

25/11/2024

"Almost every Xmas I have gone out to visit family in Australia. It's a wonderful country, and I always love being there, but there was a part of me used to find it challenging too. In my eyes, when I lacked a lot of confidence in myself it felt like Sydney was fun of 'beautiful people who were smashing it and living the life,' and there were times I didn't feel like that was me.

What I know now was that was just a mindset. I was choosing to see the Sydney world through that lens, and it wasn't accurate. It was a 'cognitive distortion' called filtering. (Do google it if you can relate!)

I've done a lot of work to do on my thinking over the past couple of years. While I wished I could change it over night I needed to be patient, forgiving and compassionate with myself. It takes practice and perseverance (and practising lots of gratitude!), but eventually the nature of your thoughts DO 'turn a corner' and become much more positive!

Have a wonderful day! (God I do wish I was on that beach right now! 😆😆)

22/11/2024

"What does your inner critic like to comment on? What you look like? What you weigh? What you've just said to someone? What you just did?

My inner critic was like a unruly, out of control, nasty bully. It berated me for almost everything - texts I sent, things I said, things I should have done, things I shouldn't have, even the thoughts I was thinking. You name it!

It was like an unwelcome lodger that I was never going to be able to get rid of! But what if I told you the primary motivation of your inner critic is actually to protect you, not to harm you. Very hard to believe but true and it's one of my most favourite things to coach in for that very reason because taming it = freedom!

Have a wonderful weekend!❤💫

18/11/2024

My greatest fears in life were rejection and failure. They kept me stuck resulting in massive frustration, and even anger, which I turned in on myself, experiencing it as vicious inner criticism.

The most impactful thing that has helped me to heal has been self-compassion, learning about how to be a better friend to myself. I came to realise that the person causing me THE greatest amount of suffering in my life was me. And I had a choice. I had to change the way I related to myself.

Perhaps you too have a nasty inner critic that you've lived with for so long. I'm here to tell you that it can change. It can be disarmed and even transformed - into your biggest cheerleader no less! This is one of the favourite things I love to work on with people because it is so unbelievably powerful!

15/11/2024

Happy Friday from me and Duggie!

Many years ago I met an army veteran who had suffered from debilitating PTSD due to his experiences in Iraq. When he returned from the war he got a dog. I vividly remember him telling me that his dog had taught him to love again.

I realise I'm at risk of sounding a bit crazy, but Duggie has done the same for me. They say pets provide us with a secure attachment, they're there for us no matter what - we can scream, cry, laugh and they're always there, by our side, and will never leave us.

What I feel we all need to do is learn to do that for ourselves. To never turn our back on ourselves, or throw ourselves under the bus when we feel we fall short.

By becoming our own biggest supporters, I am starting to truly understand that we can achieve anything 🌟

Have a wonderful weekend! Love, Lauren and Duggie x

11/11/2024

Always be on your own team

The past couple of weeks have been pretty challenging for a couple of reasons, and what I've noticed is that I can be guilty of beating myself up about it - even when things are not my fault. It can be the simplest thing like a unreturned phone call that can leave me feeling bad about myself - did I say or do something wrong?

What I'm coming to realise is the importance of being on your own team. If you're like me, you can turn your back on yourself right at the times when you need yourself the most.

So no matter what shortcomings you may feel you have, my message to you and to myself today is to be on your own team. You deserve it because, even if you haven't done something perfectly or even if you have made a mistake, you're doing the best you can ❤ Like this amazing tree, take strength from that.

24/10/2024

Hello to you from me today plus a wee Autumnal pic!

So life got busy for a number of reasons, mainly good I'm pleased to say, and my social media activity fell off a cliff - in all honesty I just didn't have any mental space left for it.

But I'm back with a new page name because of a slight but exciting change in direction. I want this next chapter to be about:

Communicating my story about how I healed from mental illness by healing the most important relationship in my life - the one I have with myself. I hope this will inspire and inform those suffering and their families about how they can do the same.

Have a wonderful day! 😍

09/09/2024

Calling any Stirling peeps who have a story to tell!📣

I spend some time supporting Maisie, a young college student here in Stirling and we've started our own radio show on Stirling Community Radio! We've been keeping it a little hush hush while we find our feet and learn how to use all the buttons ;) !!😂

The show is called Let Me Speak and it's about providing a platform for inspiring people to share their stories of hardship, healing and happiness. We want it to be really interactive and give you the chance to share your thoughts and request songs that you love!

The show is on every Wednesday from 6-8pm and you can listen online or by downloading the Stirling Community Radio app (super simple and with a button where you can message us!)

We're looking for someone for this Wednesday 11th Sept to come and join us in our Stirling studio and share their story. If you or anyone you know would like to be our guest please get in touch! 😄

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SoulKraft

Ultimately SoulKraft is about bringing positive change to the way we relate to ourselves, in particular focusing on our inner critic, and how by living with more self compassion we can achieve greater levels of creativity, productivity and happiness in our lives.

This is so important because by changing the way we relate to ourselves, we change the way we relate to others and the world around us, and excitingly the way the world relates to us too.

You might be asking yourself how do I know if my inner critic is causing me problems? Answer these questions:

Do you crave more peace of mind?