One to one counselling service offering Humanistic Person Centered, Cognitive Behaviourial Therapy (CBT), Solution Focused Therapy.
I hold Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling.A Diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). I am a registered member of the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotheraphy) and an Accredited Member of the National Counselling Society. I work with all issues and adults and young people with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, anger management issues. I am not here to offer advice but to help you work out the best way to deal with a problem. I offer Employees help with their Employee Assistance Programme.
13/03/2026
A gentle reminder as the week ends:
In a healthy relationship, you don’t have to earn your place.
You can be tired.
You can be imperfect.
You can be quiet.
You can be uncertain.
And you’re still accepted.
Healthy relationships don’t remove all anxiety. But they don’t create it either.
They feel steady. Repairable. Safe.
If that hasn’t been your experience in the past, it doesn’t mean you’re incapable of it.
It might simply mean you’re learning what healthy feels like.
And learning something new — especially in relationships — takes time.
12/03/2026
One of the clearest signs of a healthy relationship is mutuality.
Both people matter.
Both people’s feelings count.
Both people get to take up space.
Both people can say no.
It doesn’t mean everything is perfectly balanced every day. Life isn’t like that.
But over time, it feels fair.
You’re not always the one adjusting.
You’re not always the one smoothing things over.
You’re not always the one compromising.
Care flows both ways.
And that fairness builds a quiet kind of trust.
11/03/2026
A healthy relationship can feel like this:
Not rehearsing what you’re going to say
before you say it.
Not bracing yourself
for a sudden shift in mood.
Not apologising
for having needs.
It can feel like exhaling
without realising you’ve been holding your breath.
Sometimes your body knows you’re safe before your mind fully trusts it.
And that feeling of safety?
It’s precious.
10/03/2026
Healthy relationships aren’t the ones where nobody ever gets it wrong.
They’re the ones where repair happens.
Someone says,
“I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t handle that well.”
“Can we try that again?”
There’s something incredibly regulating about accountability.
When someone can acknowledge the impact of their behaviour — without defensiveness or blame — trust deepens.
Conflict isn’t the problem.
It’s what we do afterwards that matters.
Being able to repair is one of the quiet foundations of real safety.
09/03/2026
We often talk about “red flags” in relationships.
But what about green ones?
A healthy relationship isn’t perfect. It’s not conflict-free. It’s not a constant stream of romance or agreement.
It’s steady.
You can disagree without fearing the fallout.
You can be honest without being punished for it.
You can take space without it being turned into rejection.
You’re not walking on eggshells.
You’re not shrinking yourself to keep things calm.
You feel safe enough to be yourself.
And if you didn’t grow up with that kind of steadiness, it might feel unfamiliar at first.
Calm can feel strange when you’re used to chaos.
But calm is not boring.
It’s secure.
06/03/2026
A gentle end-of-week reminder:
You cannot build your life around avoiding other people’s disappointment.
If you try, you’ll spend a lot of time shape-shifting.
Managing expectations isn’t about caring less.
It’s about being clearer.
When your yes really means yes, and your no really means no, something settles.
Relationships feel steadier.
You feel steadier.
As the week comes to a close, you might quietly ask yourself:
Where have I been stretching beyond what feels healthy?
And what would it look like to respond with honesty instead?
05/03/2026
There’s a difference between healthy expectations and pressure.
Healthy expectations can be talked about.
They allow room for humanity.
They flex when life happens.
Pressure tends to feel heavy. Rigid. Guilt-laden.
If someone feels disappointed by a boundary you’ve set, that doesn’t automatically mean you were wrong to set it.
Disappointment is a feeling — not a judgement on your character.
You don’t have to rush to fix everyone else’s feelings.
Sometimes steady and calm is enough.
04/03/2026
Sometimes the hardest expectations to manage are the ones we never consciously agreed to.
The strong one.
The reliable one.
The one who always copes.
When you’ve played a role for long enough, people begin to expect it. And sometimes we do too.
But you’re allowed to be tired.
You’re allowed to need support.
You’re allowed to change.
Outgrowing a role doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It might mean you’re growing.
03/03/2026
So many difficulties in relationships — at home or at work — come down to unspoken expectations.
We assume.
They assume.
Nobody checks.
And slowly, resentment builds in the space where clarity should have been.
Managing expectations often starts with gentle honesty.
“What were you hoping for?”
“I can offer this, but not that.”
“I won’t be available in the evenings.”
Clear doesn’t have to mean harsh. It can be calm. Kind. Steady.
We can’t meet expectations we don’t know about.
And we can’t expect others to read our minds either.
02/03/2026
One of the quiet pressures many of us carry is this:
“I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
So we say yes when we’re tired.
We stretch ourselves thin.
We try to keep everyone happy.
And somewhere in the middle of that, we lose track of our own limits.
Other people’s expectations aren’t always a fair reflection of what’s reasonable — or sustainable. They’re shaped by their needs, their history, their fears.
Managing expectations isn’t about being difficult.
It’s about being honest about your capacity.
It might sound like:
“I can’t take that on right now.”
“I need more time.”
“I’m not able to do that.”
Discomfort doesn’t automatically mean you’ve done something wrong. Sometimes it just means you’ve stopped overextending.
You’re allowed to be human.
27/02/2026
A space to reflect
What’s something you wish more people understood about mental health?
No fixing.
No advice.
Just space to share, if you want to.
26/02/2026
You don’t need all the answers
It’s okay to:
– feel unsure
– change your mind
– take longer than you thought
You’re allowed to figure things out as you go.
Life isn’t something to get “right” —
it’s something to live.
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The chances are that while reading this, you are grabbing a few minutes to sit down and take a short break. The pace at which we live our lives is demanding: juggling work, family commitments and a busy diary of events can sometimes feel overwhelming. While we all feel anxious from time-to-time, anxiety can become excessive and persistent, with its psychological, emotional and physiological symptoms, such as ‘panic attacks’, impacting on our daily lives and those around us.
I can help you to deal with anxiety in a different way.
Anxiety can be triggered by life changing events, ie bereavement, losing a job, divorce. Everyday events can also cause anxiety, you might be suffering with low self-esteem bought about by worrying about what other people think. These events can start to make you feel depressed.
I am not here to offer advice or to tell you what to do. I will listen and offer non-judgemental support and let you explore different ways of dealing with the situation. Sometimes just having someone who listens to you, is enough to see a way to start to solve any problems.
I believe we should all take time to focus on ourselves and affirm that we are living our lives in a balanced way. Being self-aware gives us the opportunity to address issues before they manifest into something bigger.
If you feel you would like to work with me, feel free to call 07850 447585 or email hilary@lifebalancecounselling.net and ask questions, which I will endeavour to answer open and honestly, which would be the basis for our working relationship.
"Without Hilary's help, I would not still be here" Andrew aged 54
"You helped me to move through a very bad and horrible time. It's helped me to pick up my life again and move on" Robert aged 78
