05/06/2025
How often do you step out of your comfort zone?
I have been reflecting on this - particularly when it comes to communal acts like eating or singing.
I'm currently in Marseille. My friend .webster.health is attending a conference, so while she's busy being nerdy, I've been exploring solo: wandering the streets, trying new places to eat, and sometimes working (or napping) in the quiet cocoon of a hotel room.
Last night Jo was busy and I wanted to try an African restaurant that I'd read about on lonely planet - it didn't say which particular African cuisine it was. I went to find it and then felt nervous as I walked past, it didn't have a terrace so I couldn't really tell what it was like inside or if there was space. It had a very local vibe as the only resturant on that street. I could just about see a big tv on the wall through the glass door with afrobeats music videos on. I kept walking and then stopped. Took a breath. Got cash out (just in case). And put on my proverbial big girl knickers.
I returned to the glass door and stepped inside, nervous about my terrible French, unsure what to order, unsure how to eat it etc.
I managed to order some food without any real idea what would be coming other than the chicken. I ordered fufu because I'd heard about it in a Yemi Alade song! And then when the food came an older man next to me said "bon appétit" and I asked in my broken French if I was supposed to eat with my hands, he nodded.
It was delicious, real homemade food, an okra stew - Gombo - with chicken and pounded yam (I think!).
Why am I telling you this?
Because eating another cultures food, especially when unfamiliar can feel scary but for me its also a commitment to connection. When we eat the food of another we are in some way saying I appreciate you, your culture and want to share your joy and customs.
It reminds me of singing, especially group singing, if you've never done it, it can feel scary. But at its heart, it's the same thing. A shared human ritual that connects us.
It's hard to know what the edge is between healthy discomfort and "not for me". But I am glad that I stepped into the fear yesterday.