Nik Bisbey Therapy & Coaching

27/10/2025

I was sitting at my desk after a client session with a young adult overwhelmed by the pressures of life.

Then, ping! Julien’s motivational email lands in my inbox. Normally I’d smile, but this time, it made me pause.
Because I realised I never actually read them anymore.
Julien’s great. His messages are full of wisdom.
But they’ve become noise.
And I think that’s what so many of us, and our young people are battling.
A constant flood of information, opinions, expectations, and advice.

All well-intended. All too much.

Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for your mind is to hit unsubscribe.

Not because you don’t care but because you need space to breathe, focus, and simply be.
And the same is needed for our young people. Not all digital information is bad. Not all social media is damaging. Screen-time can be great. We have a responsibility to ourselves and our young folk, to learn to filter, to show them what it means to moderate. To recognise overwhelm, and reduce the 'noise'.

🧠 Focus is self-care.
💬 Filtering is strength.
💔 Reducing noise is healing.

With thanks to for the inspiration 😉

23/10/2025

Is calm your competitive edge?

“It’s PR, not the ER.” I read that in a Washington Post article and laughed! I saw how much truth there was in it. Somewhere along the line, we started treating everyday work like a life-or-death operation.
Is it time we stopped?

Stress doesn’t make us better. It makes us reactive, exhausted, and a little less human. The article puts it nicely:

“The energy around day-to-day work can be so overwhelming, when you could get the same amount of things done in a calm fashion.”

Here’s the thing: calm doesn’t mean lazy. It means clear-headed, focused, and capable. And yes, we can train your brain to get there.
It’s about breaking old thinking habits and creating new ones. It's noticing triggers, creating new responses, and slowly rewiring how you navigate pressure.

Because real, effective performance isn’t about panic. It’s about perspective, presence, and knowing you can stay steady when the world around you feels urgent.

💭 So here’s a thought: what would change for you if calm became your default setting at work?

17/10/2025

Sometimes life brings emotions that don’t have words.

Relief mixed with grief. Love tangled with guilt. Moments that leave us unsure how to feel, or even how to talk about it.

These are the feelings we experience as life shifts in unexpected ways. They’re complex, layered, and deeply human.

I've written an article where I explore why these emotions can be so confusing, how other cultures have found ways to hold them, and why sometimes the most healing thing we can do is simply sit with them, without trying to fix them.

If you’ve ever felt something that didn’t quite have a name, or wanted to be present for someone navigating it, this article might resonate, it might even help.

15/10/2025

09/10/2025

08/10/2025

🌕 Clearing Old Patterns🌿

Autumn and the full moon have a way of drawing attention to what’s ready to fall away.

I’ve been delving into some old patterns that no longer serve me; quiet assumptions, worries, strategies that once helped but now hold me back.
Noticing them is one thing, shifting them is another. That's work that takes time, intention, and often, real support.

It’s easy to think that just acknowledging it will fix things. Sometimes it does, but usually we need practical processes and someone else to help.
For me, it’s small habits (journalling, mindfulness, a brief pause to name an unhelpful thought) paired with human support: a coach to help translate insight into action, an accountability partner to keep me honest, or a friend who understands how hard change can be.

If you live with ADHD, or if overwhelm has been part of your pattern, this work can feel especially challenging. Strategies that work for others might not land for you, and that’s okay. Effective support is about finding the right scaffolding: gentle systems that reduce friction and actions that don’t rely solely on willpower. Compassionate accountability that meets you where you are is gold!

Each tiny, mindful shift loosens the hold of an old pattern and creates space for new responses. Release is not a single dramatic moment, but a series of small acts that change how you think and show up.

If this resonates and you’d like support whether practical strategies, someone to help translate insight into action, or tools that work with ADHD, I’m offering short coaching conversations to help design a manageable, personalised approach. Change is easier when it’s held gently and practically.

What small pattern might you notice this week that’s ready to shift, and what’s one tiny next step you could try? 🌿

04/10/2025

Are you ever really ready?

03/10/2025

I stole this photo from one of my FB friends.
I was surprised by the reaction to it on their page.

The post was something along the lines of 'People are getting angrier and more self-obsessed, and here's why' Just look at those titles!
The implication, as it was received by their audience, was that these books are feeding a narrative of narcissism and frustration.
It would be easy to make that assumption. It's the same as blaming newspapers (digital media, press, etc) for a negativity bias.

But the truth is, they print it because you read it! These books are bestsellers because they're feeding into people's need to be validated. They feel validated by the rapport they feel with the author. "You've had enough, I've had enough, we need change. F**k this".

The books are not creating the culture; the culture is the problem. People need this validation, that's the problem.

Over and over we hear about pressures at work, challenges in relationships, burnout, mental health crisis, layoffs, lack of security... And people have had enough. They're looking for answers and a way out, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

As individuals we recognise a need for autonomy- with support. We are not machines, nor are we entirely self-reliant.
I am sickened to hear about what is expected of some people in the workplace. The levels of staff turnover, the demand on mental health support, and the sad losses when someone else simply can't take it any more.
These books are a small antidote. A way of trying to find some optimism; a glimmer of light or comfort in a desperate world.

What this rack of books is screaming out is not a cynical look at the author or publisher's manipulation or influence on the public- it's a snapshot of the state of mental health in relation to our workplaces.

Something has to change.

02/10/2025

Many people with anxiety and stress disorders are also suffering with low iron.
It’s always worth getting your bloods checked if you’re experiencing problems with your mood or focus.
And don’t take your doctor’s word for it; check your results yourself. If you are at the low end of a ‘normal range’, you may well be feeling the effects and could benefit from taking advice on supplementation or dietary changes.

01/10/2025

A Near Miss That Feels Like Trauma

This week I was working with someone who had been through a near-miss accident. Nothing 'actually happened,' as such, but the shock of what might have happened stayed with them. They felt jumpy, unsettled, and unable to shake the feeling of being on-edge.

I rarely share my client's experiences but I want to share this because so many people have near-misses, or witness accidents and then tell themselves they’re being silly for feeling upset afterwards. This can last for quite a long time for some, and even change the way you go about your life.

The reality is, your brain and body don’t need an actual accident for it to feel like trauma.

🧠 Here’s why:
When you’re faced with sudden potential danger, even if it doesn’t come to pass, your brain’s threat system kicks in instantly. The amygdala, your emotional alarm bell, starts preparing you for the worst-case scenario: 'What if I hadn’t stopped in time?' 'What if I’d been hit?', 'What if...', 'What if...'
(Insert your experience).
In that moment, your body floods with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. Your heart races, muscles tense, and your mind runs through every possible 'what if.' Even though you’re safe, your nervous system doesn’t always get the message. Instead of filing it neatly away as a normal memory, the brain can store it as an unresolved trauma; which is why you might keep replaying the event, feel anxious when driving, in related situations, or notice waves of tension days or weeks later.

💛 So here’s what you need to know:

This isn’t a weakness. It isn’t overreacting. It’s your brain is just doing its best to protect you.

🌱 The good news is, with the right support, your brain can re-file the experience from 'active threat' to 'unpleasant memory,' and your nervous system can finally relax.

Things that can really help include:
✨ Begin with gentle self-compassion: reminding yourself "It makes sense this shook me, my body thought I was in danger.”
✨ Talking it through with a trauma-informed therapist
✨ Grounding and body-based tools (like breath work and mindfulness)
✨ Clinical hypnotherapy or trauma therapy to reprocess the memory

If you’ve ever had a near miss or witnessed something frightening and wondered why you couldn’t just shake it off, know this: you’re not silly, you’re human, and you're responding in an entirely rational way to a potentially traumatic event. With time and the right support, your body and mind can find its equilibrium again.

30/09/2025

🍂 As the season turns, I feel that natural pull to clear and prepare, tidying my workspace, sorting old notes, simplifying my files.
Each small change brings a little more lightness, calm, and clarity.

Just like the trees shedding their leaves, at this time of year we’re invited to release what no longer serves; thoughts, habits, or clutter, and outdated burdens, making space for renewal.

I know this isn’t always easy. For many, especially those experiencing ADHD or overwhelm, organising can feel like another burden or challenge.
So approach this gently. Start small. One drawer, one folder, one thought at a time. Every small clearing creates a ripple of clarity and calm. 🌿

This autumn, I’m letting go with intention and compassion, keeping only what nourishes, and trusting that space will welcome something new.

What might you release, in order to make room for peace, clarity, and focus this season? 🍁