08/01/2026
Boys don’t close off emotionally on their own — society teaches them to.
In the early years, boys talk openly about feelings. They name emotions, seek comfort, and express vulnerability just like girls do.
Then something shifts.
Research shows that between around ages 5–7, many boys begin to reduce emotional language. Not because they feel less — but because they start to learn which emotions feel safe to show, and which don’t.
By middle childhood, emotional restraint is often mistaken for resilience. In reality, it’s adaptation. A response to subtle messages about toughness, independence, and emotional control.
This matters. Because unspoken feelings don’t disappear. They show up in behaviour, stress, shutdown, or big emotional outbursts instead.
The good news?
This isn’t biological. It’s social. And that means it’s changeable.
When boys are supported with emotional language, safe adults, and permission to feel widely — they don’t “lose” emotional openness at all.
This post looks at when the shift tends to happen.
The next one focuses on how we can help boys keep talking.
If you’re supporting a child with big feelings, overwhelm, or emotional shutdown, my Managing Big Feelings Toolkit is designed to help adults build emotional safety and regulation skills step by step.
Link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.
