Helena Clare Coaching

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Helena Clare Coaching

Stop Pretending. Stop Performing. Start Living.

The Pattern Breaker - Deep Coaching for People Tired of Their Own BS

Award Winning Transformational Coach

Book a chemistry call here: https://tidycal.com/helenaclarecoaching/chemistrycall

21/01/2026

Its time SHOULD was removed from the dictionary...

Today my inside voice is LOUD. It’s throwing “shoulds” at me like confetti…

“You should be doing this. You should have done that. You should…! You should...! You should...!”

And honestly? I literally want to hide under the duvet and cry.

When our nervous system is off - tired, stressed, overstimulated - those shoulds hit so much harder.

They trigger shame, self-criticism, and the Pretender mask jumps on stage, trying to keep you “together” and “enough.”

For me, crying is part of the release.

It’s my nervous system saying: I’m tired of holding this alone.

It doesn’t mean I'm weak. It means my body is finally letting go of the pressure, the guilt, the endless shoulds.

Couple it with a little self-havening, and I actually start to feel more like me again.

Until the next time the “SHOULDs” come around.

So here’s what I’m doing…

I’m officially starting a campaign to remove SHOULD from the Oxford English Dictionary.

Because...

❌It’s loud.
❌It’s guilt-tripping.
❌It’s shame-inducing.

And quite frankly, we flipping deserve better.

So, who's with me??

Freedom looks like noticing the voice, and choosing to not obey it.

Today, let’s put should down, let the tears come if they want to, and start listening to what actually matters to us.

16/01/2026

When you’re so tired you mistake your daughter’s dance costume, flung on the floor in a heap, for the dog…

I stood there like:
“Oh… you’re not moving.”

Turns out I wasn’t losing my mind.
I was just done.

Note to self: rest before you start checking if laundry is breathing.

15/01/2026

Since when does the truth have to be brutal?

Why has honesty become an excuse to be harsh?
Why does impact so often come without care?

Truth can be uncomfortable.
It can wobble you.
It can sting a bit.

But that doesn’t mean it needs to land like an emotional slap.

I once had a friend (yes, friend) tell me she didn’t tell me the truth because I “couldn’t handle it.”
That wasn’t kindness.
That was avoidance, wrapped up as concern.

And this is what I see again and again in my work:

When truth is delivered without compassion, people don’t suddenly have a breakthrough.
They shut down.
They defend.
They put their masks back on.

The Pretender ones.
The ones that keep them stuck.

In my coaching, we absolutely go after the truth.
The real stuff.
The uncomfortable stuff.

And yes, it can be hard to hear.

But it’s always held with kindness, compassion, and support,
so it can actually land…
so it can be processed…
so we can move forward with it, together.

Because when someone feels safe, they stay present.
And when they stay present, change becomes possible.

Most people aren’t broken.
They’re patterned.
And shaming someone out of a pattern has never worked.

Sometimes the truth doesn’t need to be brutal.
It needs to be human.

For me, that’s not being “soft.”
That’s what actually works.

12/01/2026

Unmasked starts in 3 days.

I nearly didn’t post this because I don’t want to do the whole
“last chance / hurry hurry” thing.

But I also know how this goes.

You see it.
You feel the nudge.
You think, I’ll come back to that later.

And later turns into… not now.
Or next time.
Or when things are quieter (they never are).

So this is me saying it plainly.

If you know Unmasked is for you, don’t leave it to the last minute.
Not because the doors are closing.
But because choosing yourself early matters more than we admit.

Three days.
That’s it.

If you’re in, secure your place.
If you’re not, that’s okay too.
Just don’t ignore the part of you that already knows.

Link in the comments!!

10/01/2026

Some not-so-innocent snowpeople, courtesy of my 17-year-old daughter… ❄️😏

Yesterday I was on a Zoom call.
Important, grown-up, being-very-useful and responsible Zoom call.

Meanwhile… through the window… absolute chaos and creativity was unfolding.

When I finally went out, I realised she’d added some very cheeky details to her snowpeople.

Unfiltered. Bold. Zero self-editing.

I snorted with laughter.

And then - hand on heart - I felt a twinge of envy.

Because a part of me wanted to be out there too.
Messing about.
Being silly.
Not being “on.”
Not performing competence.
Not wearing the invisible mask I didn’t even realise I had on.

And THAT’S the thing.

Most adults don’t lose their sense of play.
We just bury it under responsibility, conditioning, and very well-practised masks.

The capable one.
The sensible one.
The one who keeps it together.

The mask works… until life feels a bit flat. A bit heavy. A bit meh.

Watching her reminded me:
Play is natural.
Expression is natural.
Being a bit ridiculous is healthy.

That’s why I am offering Unmasked.

It’s not about fixing you or turning you into some “better version.”

It’s about loosening the mask, calming the nervous system, and letting you come back out to play.

More aliveness.
More truth.
More mischief (the good kind).

PS: The snowpeople have been “edited” with stickers 🤭

And if you’ve felt that quiet “I want some of that back” feeling…

You’ll feel very at home in Unmasked.

Join me - we start next Thursday!!

Link in comments!

09/01/2026

A snowy end to the first week of January…

Are you already feeling a little wobble?

That quiet part of you whispering:
“What if I’m slipping back into old habits?”

The thing is…

We don’t repeat patterns because we’re lazy.
Or because we “think wrong.”

We repeat them because subconscious protection patterns are running the show.

And this is where the masks come in…

The strong one.
The capable one.
The one who holds it all together.

The mask wasn’t the problem - it helped us survive.
But when it stays on too long, it keeps us stuck.

This year isn’t about trying harder.

It’s about noticing the patterns that are unconsciously driving your choices…

And asking: Do I still need to be protected like this?

If this resonates, maybe it’s time to gently take the mask off.

💜 Explore Unmasked - Link in Comments!!

31/12/2025

Before things get messy, I wanted to take a moment to wish you all a very Happy New Year! 🥳

To my clients - it has been an absolute honour and privilege to work with you all this year - thank you for trusting me and I hope our journey of working together continues into 2026! 🥰

To my followers, fans, family and friends - thank you for your support, comments and engagement! I couldn’t have got through the year without you! 🥰

I can already feel it in my bones that 2026 is going to be amazing!!

Helps that it starts with a 1am call from Netflix to watch the last episode of Stranger Things! You’ll know where to find me!! 🤪

Have a fabulous evening all!!

Lots of love

Helena xx
💜

30/12/2025

As part of this pause in the in-between part of the year, I’ve been doing something a little different…

Instead of watching (and re-watching) the Harry Potter films - which seem to be on constant repeat at the moment - I’ve been making time to read some of the books I got for Christmas.

And I have a lot of them to get through!!

Don’t get me wrong, I love Harry Potter.
But it’s been really nice to learn something new rather than default to what’s familiar.

The book I’m currently immersed in is It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn - and wow… I am so enjoying it.

It’s adding yet another layer of understanding around how past patterns - often ones we didn’t consciously choose - shape how we show up in the world today.

It also brings in the whole concept of inter generational trauma and patterns and how these can be passed down…

So fascinating!

It’s one of those reads that makes you pause, reflect, and quietly go,
Ahhh… that makes sense.

And I already know this insight is going to find its way into my coaching room in a really meaningful way.

This in-between time feels perfect for that kind of learning.
No pressure to act on it yet.
Just letting things land.

So I’m curious…

What are you up to in this space between Christmas and New Year?

Resting? Reading? Watching? Wandering?

Or simply letting the days blur a little?

There’s no right way to do this bit.
Just your way.

Address

Sutton Coldfield

Telephone

+447970065155

Website

http://www.helenaclare.com/, http://www.helenaclare.com/unmasked

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