Swan Lake Therapy

18/11/2022

18/11/2022

Orphaned Part = Split off part of one's Psyche & Being

Created during a time of extreme distress.
The Nervous System perceives threat and the 'threat response' never finds full completion.

The Orphaned Part, from that day forward, will keep an eye out for a potentially similar situation to occur.
We get stuck in a Hyper Vigilant state.

Most humans have dozens (sometimes a lot more) of these parts which become active during the day.
When we can never find relief from the hyper vigilance then we tend to turn to Coping Mechanisms, drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, shopping, s*x, work, etc.

We hear the term Integration a lot in the healing world.
What we are integrating is these Orphaned Parts.
Finding them, locating their origin, understanding them, processing them & welcoming them back Home.

Courtesy of
Ryan Hassan

13/02/2021

If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed during the holiday season, we've developed this booklet with self-calming ideas, skills and strategies:http://www.newpathways.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Self-calm-booklet-NEWPATHWAYS.pdf

13/02/2021

Trauma is often difficult to describe and can be caused by many different events and experiences. Learn more through our Understanding Trauma resource booklet:
http://www.newpathways.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Understanding-Trauma-SEACHANGE_NEWPATHWAYS.pdf

31/01/2021

The ordinary response to atrocities committed against a person is to banish them from consciousness. However, some violations are just too terrible to utter aloud: this is the meaning of the word unspeakable.

The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialect of psychological trauma.

Far too often secrecy of the terrible events prevails, and the story of the traumatic event surfaces not as a verbal narrative but as a symptom.

Symptoms can include alternate feelings of feeling numb and reliving the event. Traumatisation can also give rise to complicated alterations of consciousness, also known as dissociation as well as a range of other symptoms.

Witnesses of a traumatic event can also experience symptoms of trauma.

Denial, repression and dissociation can operate on a social as well as an individual level.

Traumatized individuals need to understand the past in order to reclaim their present and the future...

29/01/2021

Getting yourself back into your body through grounding.

29/01/2021

What happens at the moment of trauma?

30/11/2020

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE. There are NO rules!!

"When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

“What are you struggling with?” he asked.

I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”

Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.

I wanted to have something more substantial.
Something more profound.
But I didn’t.

So I told him, "Honestly? The dishes. It's stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown-ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?

But, my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.

“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.

I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down.

A few days later, I folded my laundry and put it wherever the f**k they fit.

There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But, at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES.

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!"

Author unknown

15/07/2020

04/07/2020

08/06/2020

How well are your emotional needs being met? And how can that adversely impact on your life?

20/04/2020

This is Something I've found to be useful not just with my clients but relatives x i have found it is a good resource if you have an anxiety disorder or general anxiety. Feedback from clients suggests to put it where you will see it often. Example: like on a mirror in a living room, hallway, bedroom etc.

20/04/2020

As I can't tailor to every individuals needs at the moment here are some affirmations you may find relevant to yourself:

1. I am capable of transforming negative experiences into something positive.

2. I am worthy of respect and equality.

3. Everything will work out for my highest good.

4. I am opening my heart and learning to trust again.

5. I am rational, balanced and know my truth.

6. No one can take my truth away from me. I speak my truth, even if my voice shakes.

7. It’s okay to not be okay.

8. Every emotion is legitimate. I let myself be happy, sad, frustrated and hurt. This is my experience, and I am accepting it.

9. Each day, I am creating a more meaningful life.

10. I am changing in positive ways. I am making peace with my past and accepting myself.

11. I make healthy choices and choose to love myself a bit more every day.

12. My life is divinely guided.

13. I am exactly where I need to be on my journey.

14. I am safe at this moment.

15. Today, I choose to focus on the things I can control.

16. My needs and wants are just as important as anyone else’s. I trust my instincts and listen to my inner wisdom.

20/04/2020

Affirmations for trauma can be particularly effective in empowering survivors by helping them clearly articulate and acknowledge their values, strengths, and skills, and by inspiring them to engage in behaviors that reflect their values. Many survivors experience repetitive harsh self-judgments that create painful emotions and unhealthy habits. Affirmations for trauma can interrupt and challenge self-critical thoughts by placing the survivor in contact with an alternative, more encouraging thought. Affirmations for trauma can promote acceptance by helping the survivor recognize the validity of their emotions and experiences. Finally, affirmations for trauma can support self-compassion by encouraging survivors to be kind and understanding with themselves when they encounter obstacles, make mistakes, or fall short of their ideals. Affirmations are most beneficial when they are said aloud by the survivor, engaged with on a consistent basis, and individually tailored to address the trauma survivors’ unique challenges and experiences...

20/04/2020

I think this is appropriate under our current situation:
Although many trauma survivors experience no long-term consequences, trauma can have lasting negative effects on individuals, families, and communities. Trauma can impact every area of survivors’ lives including their self-perceptions, relationships with others, emotions, thoughts, physical health, and sense of spiritual well-being. In the aftermath of trauma, daily activities such as getting out of bed, going to work, or caring for loved ones can become challenging and burdensome.

One of the biggest challenges for trauma survivors face is reconciling who they were before trauma occurred with who they are as a trauma survivor. Traumatic experiences have a way of shattering previously held assumptions such that the world can feel unsafe and people are viewed as dangerous or unpredictable. As they attempt to make sense of what happened and why, many trauma survivors struggle with feelings of self-blame and guilt. Stressful thoughts and feelings can continue for a long time after a trauma, interfering with the survivors’ overall happiness and quality of life.

To mitigate the impact of the trauma of one’s perceptions of themselves and the world around them, trauma survivors may benefit from engaging in therapy but can also support their healing outside of Therapy...

24/03/2020

https://join.skype.com/invite/aagwADj90JUQ

25/11/2019

Woke up this morning thinking about self worth.
What Self worth isnt: it isnt being snobbish or haughty, it isnt being vain, it isnt being arrogant or being on your "high horse", it isnt narcissistic.

Its simply is... Knowing your worth, and the quiet confidence in knowing that you and your needs matter. It is not measurable or to be compared. It's being comfortable in who and how you are. And once you have that... nobody can take that away from you or bring you down.