10/04/2026
The difference between a coach who trains you and a coach who understands you.
I want to share something personal. Because I think it explains why I coach the way I do.
Years ago, before I combined massage therapy and coaching, I had a client who was making great progress physically.
Stronger. Moving better. Pain was down. On paper, everything was going well.
Then one day he stopped replying. Cancelled his sessions. Disappeared.
I reached out. Took a few days but he eventually told me what happened. He'd had a flare-up over the weekend.
Nothing serious.
But it scared him.
And instead of telling me, he panicked and assumed the whole thing wasn't working.
I'd been training him. But I hadn't built enough trust for him to tell me when things went wrong. I was focused on the programme.
I should have been focused on the person.
I didn't lose him because the training failed.
I lost him because I wasn't paying close enough attention to what he needed beyond the training.
There are two types of coaches.
Coaches who write programmes and coaches who understand people.
The first type gives you great workouts. The second type gives you the confidence to keep going when things get hard.
When you have a flare-up. When motivation dips. When life gets in the way.
For people over 40, the coaching relationship matters more than the programme.
Because the programme is the easy part.
The hard part is keeping someone engaged, confident, and progressing when their body throws them a curveball.
Since that client left, I changed everything about how I communicate, check in, and build relationships with the people I work with. The programme is a tool. The relationship is the thing that makes it work.
What should you be Looking for in a coach:
-A good coach asks about your history before they write your programme. Injuries, surgeries, pain, lifestyle, stress. If they skip this, they're guessing.
-Regular check ins and adjustments based on how you're feeling, not just what the spreadsheet says. A good coach adapts. A bad coach follows the template regardless.
-You need to feel comfortable being honest with. If you can't tell your coach "that hurt" or "I'm struggling" without feeling judged, the relationship isn't working.
-Understanding your body, not just your goals. Goals are important. But a coach who doesn't understand your physical limitations will push you past them. And that's when injuries happen.
-They should make you feel capable, not dependent. The best coaches build your confidence and knowledge so you understand your own body better over time. Not just follow instructions blindly.
This is the standard I hold myself to. And it's the standard you deserve from anyone you trust with your body.
If you've worked with coaches before and something always felt off, comment UNDERSTAND and I'll explain how I approach things differently.