25/09/2025
Im hearing from so many parents about their year 7 child with SM struggling massively so I thought I'd write my thoughts:
Why Year 7 Can Feel So Awful for Teens with Selective Mutism
For many children, starting secondary school is a mixture of excitement and nerves. But for teenagers with selective mutism (SM), the transition to Year 7 can feel overwhelming, even terrifying. Families often describe this first year of secondary school as the hardest part of the journey. Why is that?
The Leap from Primary to Secondary
In primary school, children usually have the safety of one classroom, one teacher, and a familiar group of peers. By the end of Year 6, even if speech is limited, routines are well established. Staff know the child’s patterns, friends often “translate” or advocate, and anxiety may be held at a manageable level.
Then suddenly, in Year 7:
* Multiple teachers and classrooms – moving around the site, following different routines, coping with changing expectations.
* Larger peer groups – hundreds of new faces, many of them older and more confident.
* Higher demands – answering questions in class, speaking in front of new people, navigating group work, oral presentations.
* Reduced adult awareness – teachers may have little or no training in selective mutism, and support strategies from primary school don’t automatically transfer.
Identity and Social Pressure
Adolescence brings new layers of complexity. Year 7 is often when young people become intensely aware of peer judgment. For teens with SM, this can amplify the fear of speaking: “What if I mess up? What if people laugh?”Silence can feel safer, but it also risks misunderstanding, exclusion, or even bullying.
At the same time, teenagers are searching for independence and self-expression. Being unable to use their voice in school can feel especially painful when friends are experimenting with identity, humour, and social belonging.
Loss of Familiar Safety Nets
Selective mutism often thrives on familiarity. Leaving behind primary staff who “got it” can be devastating. In secondary school, there’s rarely a key adult who sees the child all day. Instead, responsibility is split across many teachers, meaning no one person fully understands the young person’s needs. This can make SM look like “shyness” in some lessons and “defiance” in others, leading to inconsistent, and sometimes unhelpful, responses.
The Pressure of Performance
Secondary school places increasing emphasis on verbal performance e.g. oral presentations, group projects, reading aloud, role play. For a teenager with SM, these tasks aren’t just uncomfortable, they’re physiologically impossible in moments of high anxiety. Without adaptations, every day can feel like a minefield of demands.
What Helps?
The transition doesn’t have to be traumatic. Some strategies that make a difference include:
* Planned transition – early visits, meeting key staff, a buddy system.
* Key adult in school – a safe person the teen can check in with daily.
* Consistent information-sharing – all teachers need to understand SM and use supportive strategies.
* Adapted communication – alternatives to speaking (writing, apps, gesture) and gradual exposure plans, never forced speech.
* Peer awareness– sensitive education for classmates to reduce stigma and encourage understanding.
* Parental partnership – open communication between home and school, so anxieties don’t spiral unseen.
Year 7 is often the toughest point for teens with selective mutism because it combines hige environmental change, social pressure, and the challenges of adolescence. But with preparation, understanding, and support, it doesn’t have to be a breaking point. Instead, it can be the start of a new chapter i.e.one where the young person is recognised for their strengths and given the scaffolding they need to find their voice.
Look out for my handbook for teenagers with SM coming early next year!
