22/11/2021
You can be invisible to each other.
Even though you’re both there, it’s hard to see each other through the little ones in between.
It’s easy to forget that you each have your own needs and needs to each other when you’re in the thick of it.
You can be in the same room for hours and not see each other through the chaos, or in the car for long trips but not hear each other through the noise.
The focus of your attention is rarely on each other anymore.
While you’re packing the car frantically because you’re running late, you forget to tell them how nice they look in their new shirt and they forget to tell you that they like your hair like that.
While you’re sorting the children and they’re trying to get out the door for work you forget to wish them well for their big day and they forget to give you a kiss goodbye.
While you message them about the baby wipes or the money you need transferred, you forget to ask how their day is going and they forget to click send on their reply.
While you complain to each other about being tired or needing a break, you forget to do that important thing for them and they forget to use your favourite mug when making your coffee.
While you chew their ear off about what you did all day and they can’t wait to tell you about an upcoming boys’ trip, you forget to hear the importance of each other’s needs, just the impact on your own.
And as you leave an empty space in the bed to have some you time while they spend time with the children, you forget to tell them how grateful you are for them, and they forget to tell you how much they appreciate you.
Parenting.
It can make you forgetful and blind. You forget to see each other some days and it can feel like you are connected through some form of disconnection.
Even so, it’s one of the most fulfilling chapters you’ll go through together. And when you remember to see each other for yourselves and what you both are for the little ones in between, even for the shortest time, it leaves your heart feeling full and your connection feeling the deepest it’s been for the longest time.
Until next time,
When, once again, you need to remember to see.
⠀
Words of Emma Heaphy
Art: Amanda Oleander Art
