Mother Nurture

03/01/2022

22/11/2021

You can be invisible to each other.
Even though you’re both there, it’s hard to see each other through the little ones in between.

It’s easy to forget that you each have your own needs and needs to each other when you’re in the thick of it.
You can be in the same room for hours and not see each other through the chaos, or in the car for long trips but not hear each other through the noise.

The focus of your attention is rarely on each other anymore.

While you’re packing the car frantically because you’re running late, you forget to tell them how nice they look in their new shirt and they forget to tell you that they like your hair like that.

While you’re sorting the children and they’re trying to get out the door for work you forget to wish them well for their big day and they forget to give you a kiss goodbye.

While you message them about the baby wipes or the money you need transferred, you forget to ask how their day is going and they forget to click send on their reply.

While you complain to each other about being tired or needing a break, you forget to do that important thing for them and they forget to use your favourite mug when making your coffee.

While you chew their ear off about what you did all day and they can’t wait to tell you about an upcoming boys’ trip, you forget to hear the importance of each other’s needs, just the impact on your own.

And as you leave an empty space in the bed to have some you time while they spend time with the children, you forget to tell them how grateful you are for them, and they forget to tell you how much they appreciate you.

Parenting.

It can make you forgetful and blind. You forget to see each other some days and it can feel like you are connected through some form of disconnection.

Even so, it’s one of the most fulfilling chapters you’ll go through together. And when you remember to see each other for yourselves and what you both are for the little ones in between, even for the shortest time, it leaves your heart feeling full and your connection feeling the deepest it’s been for the longest time.

Until next time,

When, once again, you need to remember to see.
⠀
Words of Emma Heaphy

Art: Amanda Oleander Art

11/11/2021

A Poem for Remembrance Day (Author Unknown)

20/10/2021

❤

28/09/2021

Hands up if you can relate! 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️🙋

14/09/2021

'I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living

My baby you'll be.'

Robert Munsch

28/08/2021

Taken from Neurochild 🖤

Hold your babies, people!! Preferably standing up, as far as the child is concerned & much to the dismay of tired parents around the world who are exasperated at an infant’s insistence at holding them standing.

A study by Esposito et al. (2013), published in the Journal of Current Biology, demonstrated for the first time that the infant calming response to parents holding them is a coordinated set of central, motor & cardiac regulations & is a conserved component of parent-infant interactions in mammals.

Using ECG to monitor 12 healthy human infants’ heartbeats, along with their behaviour & vocalisations, they recorded mother-infant pairs during behavioural tasks that consisted of the child lying in a crib, being held by the mother who was sitting on a chair (holding), or being held by the mother who was walking continuously (carrying). The researchers found a sustained elevation of heart interbeat intervals due to carrying in awake infants could not be explained by any known cardiac vagal reflex, including the orienting reflex (brief period of heart rate deceleration by mild sensory stimulus), suggesting that carrying evokes a sustained heart rate reduction in concert with the rapid behavioural changes in human infants via a novel mechanism.
The researchers found that in mouse pups, carrying induced calming responses similar to those in human infants, even though maternal carrying methods differed. This draws parallels between the carrying-induced calm state evoked in human babies & other mammalian young such as cats or squirrels who adopt a still, compact posture with their hind legs drawn up when maternally carried. The reduced mobility, reduced distress vocalisations, & reduced heart rate appears to be adaptive.

The calming responses evoked by carrying are thought to be an evolutionary measure to increase the survival probability of the infant in cases of emergency escape by the mother & child & so ultimately works to strengthen the mother-infant relationship. There is adaptive value in this behaviour in carer-infant relationships & as a consequence, infant survival.

The study found that the effects of carrying on the infant’s parasympathetic nervous system were significant, and it provides a scientific understanding of this physiological infant response that could be beneficial for parents and early childhood educators to understand.
Considering the physiological response of the infant when being carried may lead to greater parent and carer patience, reduced frustration and an increased appreciation of age-old parenting techniques such as babywearing and responsive parenting.

11/08/2021

The baby feels everything the mother feels. Every heart break, every smile, every single emotional thing. Even touch! When hugging the father and just taking that time to breathe the baby can feel that love. That feeling of warmth and security. At 22 weeks the baby has started to learn voices and can tell which voice is peaceful to its mother and which voice hurts the mother. They have become aware of most sounds around them. By 26 weeks the baby can develop emotions for him or herself on feelings the mother feels. By 30 weeks the baby has picked who's voice it is most favoured towards. Needless to say, dont stress yourself, your baby feels it all. ❤️

20/07/2021

And so the 6 weeks begin... 😆

02/07/2021

The weight of being a mother is heavy, indeed. Some days, it feels like it’s squashing you, requiring more strength and energy than you possess. The constant and unending responsibility seems like more than you can bear. It’s a lot to carry.

But that’s the thing about lifting weights, it leads to change. The change doesn’t happen overnight; it’s not instantaneous. But slowly, over time, you begin to transform.

Each day you get a little stronger, until one day, you wake up and realize you hardly feel the weight at all. The weight has become easier to carry. It becomes second nature, a part of who you are. You carry it with you without even noticing it’s there.

You have transformed into a stronger, more capable, more selfless version of yourself without even noticing.

Motherhood is so heavy, but you’re strong enough to carry it.

-Marielle Petkoff