11/06/2025
Ever felt like you should be able to unwind, but just… can’t?
If no one showed you how to play as a child, or if play was shut down, judged, or made to feel unsafe, then of course it’s hard to relax now.
In therapy, I see this all the time: adults who are capable, productive, and burned out… but who feel deeply uncomfortable when they try to rest or play. They either avoid it completely or use substances to aid them to feel able to let go.
But here’s the problem - play isn’t frivolous. It’s regulating.
In polyvagal terms, play is a blended state: you’re accessing the energy and movement of the sympathetic system while feeling safe and socially connected through the ventral vagal system.
That combination is powerful. It tells your nervous system:
“You’re safe now. You can explore. You’re allowed to enjoy.”
If play feels awkward, you’re not broken. You just need to practice and learn this skill in adulthood.
Which tip will you try first from these slides?
👇 Let me know! Or tag someone who might benefit from reading this.